"malik" wrote:

I love my mother. I brought her a nice gift - a neckless. In the morning, I touched her feet as a mark of respect towards her. She is my paradise.

I dont get it... how exactly does the touching of feet as a mark for respect?

its from hindu culture look in their scriptures it's cited there i did some research coz Bengalis have taken it as a part of their culture. I know indians as in Sikhs do it aswell. I duno what culture Malik is but that aspect of touching the feet is from the hindu faith.

I don;t agree with it regardless of the intentions. Ppl were not permitted to touch our prophets feet out of respect lest it led to idolotry so why allow it for parents.

I was forced to do it as a kid to my elders i found it totally demeaning i detest the practise. I wouldn't have minded doing it for my parents had they taught me its so called values in a better way, but they forced me, and force gets you no where.

Now i just hug and kiss my parents arab style they love it, makes them smile. better than the feet malache any day.

"yashmaki" wrote:

Now i just hug and kiss my parents arab style they love it, makes them smile. better than the feet malache any day.

lol and thats basicly turning a frown upside down.

I have never in my life touched the feet of any of my elders. Nor have I been encouraged to do so…I haven’t actually ever seen this being carried out either.

However, I do not hold the opinion that this is not allowed in Islam…nor do I believe that only Hindu’s/Sikhs do this…or that it originated from their culture.

This is because there are many hadith’s where the companions kissed the foot of our Holy Prophet and He did not forbid it….Imam Muslim even asked permission to kiss the foot of Imam Bukhari.

I’ve also heard of students kissing the feet of their Shaikh as a mark of respect…and I don’t believe that all of the people mentioned above were wrong.

However, obviously it is wrong for non Mehrams to do this to one another…

On a semi related point..

I find it interesting how ‘respect’ differs in every culture and place.

For example, in some cultures it’s disrespectful to extend your feet towards elders…or to show someone the sole of your foot.

In some culture its disrespectful to call teachers by their first name…in this country, it isn’t a biggie.

In Japan apparently…when you’re introducing your family to someone, you must start with the youngest…its actually rude to introduce the oldest (such as your parents) first.

Quote:

[size=14][b]Kissing Feet and Prostration[/b][/size]

Answered by Shaykh Gibril F Haddad

[i]I wish to inquire about a ruling regarding kissing the feet of elders [and] prostration out of respecting a human being (sujud al-ta`dhim).... If the kissing or touching was practised in the posture of prostration, [is this] unlawful (haram) and one of the major sins?[/i]

[b]Prostration to other than Allah with the intention of worship is disbelief; with the intention of respect, prohibited (haram).

Kissing a parent's or teacher's foot with the intention of respect is neither even if it seems to resemble it outwardly. [/b]
These are separate issues and should not be confused.

[b]The hadiths in which the Companions kissed the foot or feet of the Prophet, upon him blessings and peace, are known. Imam Muslim asked for permission to kiss the foot of Imam al-Bukhari. It is difficult to imagine anyone kissing another's foot other than in a posture seeming to resemble prostration to some, and it would be an outlandish suggestion that imitating the Companions of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and the great early Muslims could be among the major sins. [/b]

So if it is permissible - and it is permissible – then it is permissible unconditionally, not only if it does not resemble prostration.

It is the same with those that forbid bowing to someone and therefore kissing the hand because it involves bowing (because it is impermissible to bow to another). It is poor reasoning.

As Imam Habib Mashhur al-Haddad said in Key to the Garden as translated by Sidi Mostafa Badawi: Friend, you will bow to pass through the low door of this mosque then again to pick up your children or kiss them - and there is nothing wrong with it. Or something to that effect.

As for difference of sex then the same ruling that applies to touch applies here regardless of kissing or prostrating.

There remains two remarks:

1. If a certain culture over-emphasizes a gesture of adab and tends to make it an obligation, new rulings may apply. If the obligation is a social custom with no religious connotation it is a mere innovation.

Examples are the expectation of an elderly Turkish woman that a greeting male kiss her hand, even a non-mahram, or the expectation among certain Gulf Arabs that a proper greeting between males involves kissing cheeks/lips and rubbing noses.

If the obligation acquires a religious connotation it is an innovation of misguidance which must be avoided.

2. Whether contemporary people kiss hands and feet out of unthinking imitation or have anything like the Companions' high sense of dignity on the one hand and their pure, forthright, selfless, and trusting hearts on the other, is another matter.

I ask forgiveness if I said anything wrong and beg to be corrected by those Allah will reward. Allah knows best.

[url=http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1662&CATE=94]source[/url]

Quote:

[size=14][b]Is it permitted to touch the feet of elders? It is common in our culture.[/b][/size]

Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

There are few situations here:

1) If one was to touch or kiss the feet of the future parents in-Law in a way that the posture of prostration was avoided, then this has two possibilities:

a) [b]If the person whom one is touching the feet is from the opposite sex and is a non-mahram [someone of one’s immediate family of those whom one cannot marry], then to touch the feet will be impermissible. [/b]Therefore, it will not be permissible for the prospective bride to touch the feet of her future father in-Law, as he is regarded a stranger in Shariah before marriage, unless he is a mahram, such as an uncle.

b) [b]If the person whom one is kissing and touching the feet is from the same sex or he/she happens to be a Mahram (unmarriageable kin), then in principle it is permissible to kiss the feet (SeeDurr al-Mukhtar).[/b]

However, if touching or kissing the feet of the future parents in-Laws is regarded as part of the marriage in Islam, and is considered an act of reward, then there is no basis for this in Shariah and should be avoided.

2) [b]If the kissing or touching was practised in the posture of prostration, then this is unlawful (haram) and regarded as one of the major sins.

The prostration of worship (sajda al-ibadah), for other than Allah, is absolutely and undeniably disbelief (kufr). The prostration of respect (sujud al-ta`dhim) or greeting (tahiyya), for other than Allah, is unlawful and a major sin, according to all four Sunni schools of law, and could lead one to kufr.[/b]

[b]The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) is reported to have said:

“It is not permissible for one human to prostrate in front of another.” (Sunan Tirmidhi).

Given this and similar texts, the scholars are unanimous on the fact that any type of prostration for any besides Allah is strictly unlawful, and regarded a major sin. If practised out of worship, then it will be disbelief (kufr).[/b]

The common situation

[b][i]Therefore, in your situation, if touching of the feet does not consist of touching the feet of a non-Mahram, and you are able to avoid the prostration posture, then it will be permissible, but normally better to avoid.

However, if the case is otherwise, then it would be obligatory to avoid.[/i] [/b]In such a case, explain to the elders of the family that this is a un-Islamic practise and must be avoided. Ensure this is done with gentleness, calmness and wisdom.

And Allah knows best

[url=http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=12&ID=245&CATE=87]source[/url]

"MuslimSister" wrote:

On a semi related point..

I find it interesting how ‘respect’ differs in every culture and place.

For example, in some cultures it’s disrespectful to extend your feet towards elders…or to show someone the sole of your foot.

In some culture its disrespectful to call teachers by their first name…in this country, it isn’t a biggie.

In Japan apparently…when you’re introducing your family to someone, you must start with the youngest…its actually rude to introduce the oldest (such as your parents) first.

It is interesting that diff cultures have diff meanings or ways of expressing "respect" which is why we should learn to accept that as the meaning differs worldwide.

I don't think touching the feet can lead to worshiping and seeing from the post Amal provided it is a practice which was done by blessed companions (ra).

"yashmaki" wrote:

Bengalis have taken it as a part of their culture.

I used to think that it was part of our religion coz my parents made me do it when I was young.

I've seen the brides do it, god it must be embarrassing in front of everyone, and esp. on your wedding day.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

I find it interesting how ‘respect’ differs in every culture and place.

For example, in some cultures it’s disrespectful to extend your feet towards elders…or to show someone the sole of your foot.

In some culture its disrespectful to call teachers by their first name…in this country, it isn’t a biggie.

In Japan apparently…when you’re introducing your family to someone, you must start with the youngest…its actually rude to introduce the oldest (such as your parents) first.

In Malaysian culture its seen as EXTREMELY rude to cough at the dinner table, you should go out of the room if you have to. However, burping and belching loudly is completely acceptable and not seen has rude in any way.

This has led to much awkwardness and embarrassment when I've been at my fiancée's family's house, or she's been to see my family!

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a HSBC advert...

i never did it in my wedding muslimbro, the outrage u could see it on all the elders faces half of whom id never seen in my life. To heck with them is my verbal salam not enough that's the way of our prophet (saw). Anyways i had a veil on it seems at odds for me to get down on my knees to touch their feet. Plus like Amal pointed out most of these men were non mahram to me why should i? i bet i sound rude and rebellious i really don't care i've alway despised this tradition.

Granted you've shown companions did it to our prophet (saw), i swear i'd read our prophet never encouraged it, rather discouraged the act, anyone found any hadith regarding this or was i imagining it? But the fact that companions did it shouldn't be taken as a signal that it's ok like Amal has shown there are many restrictions. I think it's best not done, but that's just my laymans opinion nothing more.

On a semi related point.

I dont feel that I give the due respect that is expected to my mother.

She's my friend, I can make her laugh...I love taking her out/shopping etc

However, I feel the respect issue is lacking...esp when I read up on how the Awliya's used to respect their parents.

..However, I know that if I ever touched her feet, she'd burst out laughing. :?

It is pride within yourself which is giving you these feelings my sister.

You love your mother and yet feel bad about touching her feet.

You know that bending down to your elders kills the pride.

I also found it heard at first; but at the end I forced myself to go down and touch the feet of my scholar whose taqleed I am. After that it was very easy. Pride was killed in one act. I have no problem touching feet of my mother, father, Aunt, and the Ayatullah.

Ayatullah came to London once and the room was full of men. I touched kissed feet and did not remove my hand from his feet until he himself wiped his hands over my head and kissed it.

After watching me, a few other people who were there felt encouraged and followed suit.

God wanted to kill pride within Iblis. Angels had no pride they bowed to Adam. Iblis couldn't do that. Our Prophet (pbuh) said in one Hadith that one who had one atom of pride towards his elders will never enter paradise. That is why Sahabas used to kiss feet of the Prophet (pbuh).

Hey watever works for you malik

me personally i bow before no man... or woman for that matter.

Those who need it already know they have my respect... those who dont... obviously im indifferent to.

I bow before God and God alone.

"malik" wrote:

It is pride within yourself which is giving you these feelings my sister.

You love your mother and yet feel bad about touching her feet.

You know that bending down to your elders kills the pride.

I also found it heard at first; but at the end I forced myself to go down and touch the feet of my scholar whose taqleed I am. After that it was very easy. Pride was killed in one act. I have no problem touching feet of my mother, father, Aunt, and the Ayatullah.

Ayatullah came to London once and the room was full of men. I touched kissed feet and did not remove my hand from his feet until he himself wiped his hands over my head and kissed it.

After watching me, a few other people who were there felt encouraged and followed suit.

God wanted to kill pride within Iblis. Angels had no pride they bowed to Adam. Iblis couldn't do that. Our Prophet (pbuh) said in one Hadith that one who had one atom of pride towards his elders will never enter paradise. That is why Sahabas used to kiss feet of the Prophet (pbuh).

Nah its not pride. I have no issue with touching her feet. I sometimes massage her feet...so how can you say I feel bad about touching her feet?

It’s the fact that…mum wouldn’t perceive it as an act of respect. In fact…I don’t even think she’d understand it. Mum was brought up in this country…so like me, she also hasn’t ever come across this practise.

To her feet touching does not equal showing respect...so what's the point?

Like I pointed out before...respect differs in every culture.

If bowing = respect in my family...I wouldnt hestitate to do so.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

If bowing = respect in my family...I wouldnt hestitate to do so.

but we're not allowed to bow for anyone other than God... :?:

We are not allowed to do sajda to anyone other then Allah (swt).

A Sajda is when all eight parts of the body touch the ground.

‘Bowing’ does not fulfil the conditions of a sajda.

The Sahaba’s used to kiss the feet of the Holy Prophet (saw).