Salaam
Has anyone ever put their foot in it? Does anyone get carried away sometimes and regret it later on?
Those who preach/write/give talks/answer questions/give advice etc etc should really think before they speak.
Usually, I’m SO careful about this matter…but on the rare occasions when I’m speaking passionately about something I notice that I don’t think before I speak.
The blessed companions of the Holy Prophet 
were people of few words and questions, but great actions. When the people of the first and second generation were asked a question they would tremble out of fear for Allah (swt).
Imam Malik once said “Before answering a question one should (present himself) in front of heaven and hell (contemplating about them) and then should choose an answer which he thinks may save him from the fire”. It was for this reason that unlike today the Salaf were far from eager to answer a question or to present their opinion about a matter. Today, however everyone has to have their say, even upon issues that they fully do not grasp.
The Holy Prophet said “If a person is given silence, he is given wisdom”, the tongue is a great temptation, and learning how to control it is an enormous discipline. Whenever the Holy Prophet spoke, he always spoke the truth, even in levity. He disliked verbosity and cautioned His companions about talking needlessly.
Talking carelessly is SO serious…without realising we can give wrong advice or information to people….we can let a personal matter slip…or we can hurt someone’s feelings.
Those who are silent are given wisdom…but such people are few and far between, and are usually dissed as being “dumb”.
I was thinking about this last night…I’m reg in front of an audience (circles/lectures/articles/posts on forum). And after doing such work for the last few years years….only now beginning to scare me a LOT. :?
Its a dangerous position to be in..
Apparently the hypocrite is he who speaks without thinking. It should also be noted that excessive talking deadens the heart.
How careful are you about this issue?
Share your views on this issue please
Wasalaam
Salam
No. Don't try to mislead: Its not just this matter.
Women generally hate any form of criticism.
They like to think that they are IT.
Thats the reason why they take more care than men.
Omrow
Don’t generalise Omrow.
Criticism bears heavily on the soul, for men AND women.
I normally take great care before i do give advice or help in answering someones question. Sometimes i know that i have the answer but choose not to say, just incase i do end up going abit wrong.
I also have difficulty expressing my-self and am not a great talker or advice giver. I am more of a quiet person when it comes to talking about religion and a few times it has happened that i regret having said something..So then choose to remain on the quiet side, even if knowing the right.
Way i could never have the confidence to give a lecture or do speeches. I'd be really nervous and scared. LOL i prob would just go blank, i've always thought that is scary man.
Sister i have alot of respect for you...
keep on the good topics.
Salam
Women weep more.
Omrow
i'm quiet gal too
and thinking before i speak never does me any favours
i ALWAYS put my foot in it
sum ppl get carried away when they speak and dont realise that they're letting too much slip
i talk tooo much sumtyms, im quite stubborn so when i mak a point i battle it out, but however wen i am rong i do put my hands up and admit it, but stubborness is always not a bad thng, iv learnt to use it in gud way
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
Exquisite meet lilsis. LilSis meet exquisite. Both of you should get on very well.
The thing about thinking before you speak is sometimes tyou can take too long. Then eiter you speak at the wrong time, or keep schtum.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
But seriously sumtyms you need to open your gob to say somethng otherwise ppl walk all over you and i aint having none of dat thank you very much
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
i dont think anyone is THAT slow that they take hours to think before they speak
unless u referring to urself :roll:
i like the way u think :twisted:
refering to myself.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
lolz but its true cuz sum my m8s r soooooooooo worried bout upsettin ppl and r xtra nice ppl tke advantage of them n sis nice to meet you
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
lol. recently i've been trying to keep my gob shut more often and 'think before i speak', but find that^ happening... :roll:
exquisite (welcome to the forum sis!), i'm usually like yourself - quite headstrong. but its not always a good thing and i've been trying to change recently... there are certain topics which i am particularly opinionated about and i would still fight to the death over them though. i dont think i'm as bad on the forum coz u obviously have a chance to read thru ur post...
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Salaam
In our society keeping quiet or being an introvert are characteristics that are looked down upon. This is because our society only values what is apparent; thus the self-effacing individuals who refrain from speaking unnecessarily are known as the ones who are insecure and lacking in self-confidence, whilst the long-winded individuals are deemed as being clever, witty and successful.
This is ironic, as this mentality was not shared by our pious predecessor. According to Hadrat Ali (ra) “when intelligence is complete speech becomes rare”. Traditionally it has also been said that one should “be sure of the stupidity of a man if he speaks too much”.
The Holy Prophet
said “If a person is given silence, he is given wisdom”.
In fact another hadith states that if one KNOWS that they’re in the right and remain silent and do not argue then they have secured for themselves a house in the middle of paradise.
Of course, sometimes it is wrong to remain silent and we must speak out. However, it’s all about knowing when to speak and knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
…Also Allah (swt) is found in silence.
Wasalaam
i wish that all the words i have spoken apart from the Koran on the day of judgement are erased - please
i find myself continually thinking about this
Even words of kindness and compassion?
Even if we sat up since our birth and praised Allah (swt) till our death it wouldnt be enough. We praise him becoz we choose to, Allah(swt) give us what he chooses to.
But even he has instructed us to also pay attention to the world. To bring kindness, compassion and the world of Islam to the rest of the world. He doesnt NEED our praise, god will always be god regardless of what we say or do.
Back in BLACK
i fully understand where your coming from sis - talking in study circles, giving lectures n stuff is a very rewarding thing ta do because u feel that your giving something back 2 the Muslim community by sharing the little knowledge that u may have but at the same time it can be quite scary and it is - esp when u know that everything u say will have some sort of effect on the listeners. On a personal level im very upfront and straightforward when it comes 2 speaking of Islam - most sisters in the study circles have little Islamic knowledge so it is easier explaining things 2 them in simple terms that they would understand but if i was asked a question that i was unsure about then i would have no choice but 2 tell the sister that il have 2 research on the aspect first before answering etc because obviously it is vital 2 have the correct knowledge first before even thinking of preaching 2 others - when a person is in this sort of position it is very easy 2 speak before u think - IMO the key is 2 have an open mind and expect the unexpected!
but generally in a social setting i tend 2 stay quiet and not talk 2 much because 99.9% of the time the talk is totally un-Islamic and just leads 2 idle talk.
my implusive posting on this forum shows how i so DONT think before i speak
i say the first thing that comes to mind
this gets me into trouble a LOT :?
lol. well just read thru each post before u click 'submit' and think about whether ud be insulted by it if someone els had directed it at u...
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
I'm not gonna lie
tis very intentional-I cud SO easily take my time
but i choose not too
y?
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
i like to be controversial and stubborn here
i find it fun
but I dont think I'm mean
unless I really truly hate someone-which is very rare
Instead of starting yet another thread...I'll post my thoughts here.
Yesterday mum was telling me about a religious do she went to…
Basically, it was in the house of someone who is very far from Islam…this lady had just bought a new house and wanted some Dhikr done in it in order to bless it…
She spent about six months just preparing for a small get together for 5-6 ladies, cos she’s never done anything like this before.
The ladies arrived and the first thing they did was attack her pictures on the wall and made her take them down….then they attacked her for having animals in her house (she had a few cats-so what?)….then they had a go at her for having stuffed animals (teddies etc) all in her room…..then they started on her marital status, since she was in her mid 30’s and unmarried (I think she's more than aware of her marital status)….then they spoke about how wrong it was that she doesn’t cover her head in public.
Now, what kind of impression does this lady who is far away from Islam have about “religious people” and Islam?
I seriously doubt that she’d be inviting “religious” people to her house ever again.
This lady didn’t even personally know these people….they had NO right to get together and attack her in their zeal to “reform and guide her”.
What do we lack diplomacy and tact? In our zeal to “reform” others why do so many of us ignore other people’s feelings?
Once, a very pretty girl, all dressed up was complaining to a friend of mine about the amount of unwanted attention she receives from guys….instead of saying to her “well, what do you expect your dressed like a *****” as I’ve heard many say….she just said “Sweetie, its cos you’re all dressed up and look very pretty, if I was a guy I’d chase you for your number too”. This comment made her think and she started to tone it down…I doubt being called a ***** would have brought about the same results…
The Holy Prophet
said “there’s magic in oratory”.
Do some of us really need to take lessons in how to speak to others?
OR, are do you believe that the harsh, condemning, condescending approach is what brings about more results?
However, isn’t our job only to say? We can not MAKE someone change their ways, so why say it in a way that will make them hate us and the message?
Has anyone else ever been told something that has totally pushed them away or put them off an aspect of Islam?
Harshness bears heavily on the soul…but does our ego play a part in have an issue with people not speaking to us “nicely”?
Does anyone ever practise what they’re going to say to someone before they say it?
I think Hajj Malik el Shabaaz said it best when he said
[b]Don't be in a hurry to condemn because s/he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today. [/b]
That why it important to be considerate and show compassion in these situation, as you can't expect to change a person whole view on life in a couple of moment, that always has to come from the person, all you can do is be a guide when they need you.
"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."
[url=http//www.guidancemedia.com/videostream.php?id=Burda.mov]Quran[/url]
i remember a lady came to a study circle for the first time wearing half sleeves and nail varnish
some other ladies jumped on her and started to tell her about the serpents that will bite her in the grave
she never returned to the circle again
i wonder why :roll:
Sometimes telling people the right is a gud - thing...
But you gotta say it the proper way..
Obviously jumping and attacking some-one in a angry tone is Bad,
Bring on the sweet tone and explain proper
Bad tone will just end up making someone peed-off...But at times it works cos
Some dont get offended as they see it being sed for their own good.
Kids never think before they speak...
Is that coz they're innocent?? And therefore whatever they say will be totally innocent too?
Back in BLACK
No, they're just thoughtless and less responsible. Fair play to 'em.
[size=9]Whatever you do, know that I will always love you. Or else.[/size]