Now that people know I am trying to reform myself, I would just like to know how do you protect your gaze from not looking at what is unlawful?
I find this to be a daunting task, especially living in an unislamic environment. Everywhere there is nudity, music, shameless people, how do you stay away from this? it's almost impossible.
You see it's like this, where I work, there are at least two shameless non muslim women. One of them I happen to work quite closely with. She often wears low neck tops, exposing her ornaments, tight jeans absolutely no shame. The other, normally short dresses and low neck tops, quite flirtatious too she is, lucky I don't work with her, just see her around the office. What do you do when you have to work with these women, where do you look?
I can't look at the ceiling, and the ground is'nt always the best option or you might just notice where the razor missed a spot.
That is not all, I pass through a shopping mall to go for salaah, all sorts of haraam taking place there, the other day I hit the lift button "Ping" it opens, VOILA!! Lift full of young white school girls, 14 - 16 yrs old, young and very attractive, short knee height dresses, jumping about without their shoes,(I wonder why), long loose attractive hair.
I was hesitant for a while, should I get in, stay out? then they were looking so friendly and made some space for me, I was getting late, so heck I jumped in. Tried to look down, NO!, NO! that was not going to work, so I look up, Nope!! not that either, there's mirrors all round the lift. I could'nt help thinking what if the lift jammed(To most men that would be a dream come true, but not to me) fortunately that did'nt happen.
So that is the scenario. Haraam everywhere you go, magazines, billboards, everywhere. I would appreciate a few tips from the brothers and sisters if any, about how they cope with these type of awkward situations?
I hope i've imagined you to be older than you are. 14-16 yr girls. really?!!!
And yeh, it's a really difficult thing to do
Sorry i can't think of anything useful to say :/
Maybe try to force yourself to think about other things, Islamic things etc when you see your colleagues. Start making zikr, istighfar etc? i dunno. out and about, the only thing i can think of is looking down :/
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
you look down/away.
You do not think about them.
If you are old enough and able to, you get married.
Simple.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
damn..and i thought girls had it hard...
you could just space out..euh..i dunno if this is possible, like you're loking but not really seeing, but that would require you to think about something else. (something halaal)
most of the time thats what i do. look at stuff but im not really there..until i get told off for "OMG!! you ignooooreeddd me toodayyyy!! you'reee sooo evviiil!!" (havent had that in ages though...)
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
You make it sound so easy :/
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I've been in quite a few situations on public transport where I've been surrounded by women on public transport. You look down, their legs are not covered. You look ahead, they're wearing a low top. You look up, your head hurts. Or you can just close your eyes.
Why would they have it hard?...they got too much testosterone :twisted:
and look like a freak...
look out the window?
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
hows the freaky? :/
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
you've ever seen someone with their eyes closes on publoc transport? sawing to the rythm of the bus? and they dont have earphones in?
weird..
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
i don't think is :/
well maybe the swaying bit is.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
You can't move and you're stuck in the middle of the carriage?
urrrgh gross... thats why i run upstairs!
there's always a possibility to look out a window..but when its too early and im on the train..i feel sickish...
i hate it when i found a perfect spot to look out the window and some random person comes and stand there...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I dont have this problem :/
weird hmmm
Back in BLACK
You lot are thinking about it way too much.
(PS simple does not mean easy.)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Most of the men in my family - city professionals - always travelling by public transport, working with non muslim women and often living away from home are really good at this.
I often notice my husband, brother in law, uncles etc just looking away when being placed in this situation...something comes on TV, they look on the floor, semi naked girl on the train - they look down, read the paper/quran/get busy with their phone, start talking to whoever is with them...in the restaurant, shopping centre, cinema etc they are always deep in conversation or completely engrossed with their family member or whoever is with them..they don't spend their time ever looking around unnecessarily
It really is simple - providing this issue is important enough for you and you want to make a consious effort to avoid this kind of thing.
oh yes, an internet capable phone is probably a good boon here - and its not even conscious that you will be ignoring your surroundings.
It's probably better to make any reactions instinct rather than conscious thought as with the latter you will always be more aware.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
How old did you imagine me to be?? Besides what's that gotta do with anything. A 60yr old man can be attracted to a 16yr old gal. Most gals are mature at that age so 16 or 30 it really makes no difference, even though I doubt most men would marry a 16yr old.
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.
-Imam Al-Ghazali
To a certain degree I agree, it may be easier in a mall or public transport, but what if you are working with someone like this, you can't really talk to someone and look somewhere else, it just seems rude.
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.
-Imam Al-Ghazali
just do it. and if she gets offended tell her why. that should embarrass her...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I do that. I just pretend im looking at my computer screen or reading some papers.
Nike fan!! thats good. I don't want to embarass her, she is very helpful and often goes out of her way to help me, sometimes beyond her scope of work. So I feel it's best to be polite.
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.
-Imam Al-Ghazali
I know each to their own but perving on especially a girl younger than you is disgusting.
Just reading that made me feel uneasy. Maybe cuz of the thought of you perving on me. eurgh.
Like that Imam Ghazzali quote.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
she's still a girl who likes to show too much....
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Twister.
You are pretty much off the mark with my age, but thats cool, and I aint telling, I'm pulling a girly on you here.
Being attracted to someone does'nt have to mean you are being perverted, it's just a natural inclination, you just like what you see, you don't probe further and let your imagination run wild, that imo would be perverted.
How could I possibly be perving on you when I don't have the slightest clue of what you look like, and probably, hopefully never will. So chillax, don't be so perverted and let your imagination run wild, who know's if I really did see you I may not be in the least bit attracted and I don't mean to be insulting it sometimes just happens, so no pervy problem there. You just think too much.
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.
-Imam Al-Ghazali
Watchu tryin say u?? -.o
By 'pretend' i meant i aint doin any work on my screen or reading anythng. Its jst wer i prefer to keep my eyes. Aint no skank worth my soul.
ooooh
Wow. Good line.
Seraphim's being spilling good WOW's at the moment...i think thats what happened...must be a post-slang phase... the shock of talking slang...it causes him to just blurt out Words Of Wisdom...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
yes but when its someone so much younger than you, especially when its like a teenager and someone in their 20s or ever its just wrong. That's how i personally see it. Like it would feel wrong thinking a 12 boy is attractive... :/
LOL you seem offended, i was talking hypothetically and like if there was an older guy perving on me.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
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