Ya'qub wrote:

I'm not gonna tell you his name, but just to confuse you guys more I'll tell you that he also shares his name with an African football player...

adebayor, muntari ? just a thought ...

BD Brother wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

I'm not gonna tell you his name, but just to confuse you guys more I'll tell you that he also shares his name with an African football player...

adebayor, muntari ? just a thought ...

Do you mean Adebayor, the famous crime-fighting detective?

There is only one footballer who's first name was a 1970s TV detective.

Come on guys, I'm rooting for you!

Ya'qub wrote:

There is only one footballer who's first name was a 1970s TV detective.

Come on guys, I'm rooting for you!

My fun guess: Farrah (as in 1970s Charlies Angels Farrah Fawcett), Miss Marple or Starsky and Hutch (not exactly detectives but I dont care)

My more boring guess: Colombo, Poirot, Quincey ME, Kojak, Dalziel and Pascoe, the Rockford Files guy (watching UKTV Gold actually comes in handy for once!)

Amal wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

There is only one footballer who's first name was a 1970s TV detective.

Come on guys, I'm rooting for you!

My fun guess: Farrah (as in 1970s Charlies Angels Farrah Fawcett) or Starsky and Hutch (not exactly detectives but I dont care)

My more boring guess: Colombo, Poirot, Quincey ME, Kojak, Dalziel and Pascoe, the Rockford Files guy (watching UKTV Gold actually comes in handy for once!)

Congratulations you finally got it (not saying which one though)!

Owusu Abeyie .... ?

BD Brother wrote:

Owusu Abeyie .... ?

Yes, congratulations! An excellent team effort!

You now know they first name of one of my friends who once said something silly.

Give yourselves a collective pat on the back.

love to live but living to die wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

love to live but living to die wrote:

my friend's sister calls us : EYEtometrists.... lol ... (its suppose to be OPtometrist)

[snip]

That's a great story, really it is.

wots dat suppose to mean?

Im sorry Ya'qub seems more ambiguous then he actually is, what he meant is that he thinks that your story is really good.

Friend1: Mufti Friend please tell me, is X allowed.
Friend2: There are two opinions..........
Friend1: What about Y?
Friend2: There are two opinions.......
Friend1: What about Z?
Friend2: There are two opinions.......
Friend1: What about the Oneness of Allah?
Friend2: There are two......... (looks embarrased)
Friend1: Astagfirullah! (Jokingly slaps him)

Seraphim wrote:

Crazy, insane conversations you've had.

EnglishFriend: do you sweat?
Me: erm, yeah...
Englishfriend: really?
me: yes i do
Englishfriend: huh, i thought asians didnt sweat...
me: :roll:

--------------------------------------------------------
Friend: OMG guess what!
Me: what?
Friend: I got 2 fit girls' numbers today
Me: :roll:
Friend: Seriously. They're from Brummie- in't that sick?
Me: No ... not really.
Friend: There all desi too. And muslim, in't that sick?
Me: I really dont wanna know.
Friend: Aw, you know you want some Shall I fix you up?
Me: Do it and you'll die.
Friend: Ooh, by the way, when's the next namaz. We'll read it together, ok?
Me: :?

-----------------------------------------------------------

GuyAtWork: So you must be the good muslim.
Me: What?
GuyAtWork: err... you know
Me: Nnoooo i dont know.
GuyAtWork: :shock:
Me: {raises eyebrow}
GuyAtWork: Never mind.... {walks off}

---------------------------------------------------------

[the time i was partially deaf... long story]

Manager: [we're locking up and about to switch the alarm on] Seraph get on the mat.
Me: Theres a Rat?? :shock:
Manager: No! the Mat [points to mat]!
Me: Where? I dont see no Rat?
Manager: MAT, MAT.... M....A....T.... MAT!
Me: [turns to co-worker] Should i know who Matt is?
Manager: :evil:
Me: [gulp- friend comes over and drags me over to the "mat"].

the last one....hahahahaha

i would have never gone back to work after that! how embarrasing!

Ya'qub wrote:

BD Brother wrote:

Owusu Abeyie .... ?

Yes, congratulations! An excellent team effort!

You now know they first name of one of my friends who once said something silly.

Give yourselves a collective pat on the back.

How about a free meal ?

Stranger999 wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

Crazy, insane conversations you've had.

EnglishFriend: do you sweat?
Me: erm, yeah...
Englishfriend: really?
me: yes i do
Englishfriend: huh, i thought asians didnt sweat...
me: :roll:

--------------------------------------------------------
Friend: OMG guess what!
Me: what?
Friend: I got 2 fit girls' numbers today
Me: :roll:
Friend: Seriously. They're from Brummie- in't that sick?
Me: No ... not really.
Friend: There all desi too. And muslim, in't that sick?
Me: I really dont wanna know.
Friend: Aw, you know you want some Shall I fix you up?
Me: Do it and you'll die.
Friend: Ooh, by the way, when's the next namaz. We'll read it together, ok?
Me: :?

-----------------------------------------------------------

GuyAtWork: So you must be the good muslim.
Me: What?
GuyAtWork: err... you know
Me: Nnoooo i dont know.
GuyAtWork: :shock:
Me: {raises eyebrow}
GuyAtWork: Never mind.... {walks off}

---------------------------------------------------------

[the time i was partially deaf... long story]

Manager: [we're locking up and about to switch the alarm on] Seraph get on the mat.
Me: Theres a Rat?? :shock:
Manager: No! the Mat [points to mat]!
Me: Where? I dont see no Rat?
Manager: MAT, MAT.... M....A....T.... MAT!
Me: [turns to co-worker] Should i know who Matt is?
Manager: :evil:
Me: [gulp- friend comes over and drags me over to the "mat"].

the last one....hahahahaha

i would have never gone back to work after that! how embarrasing!

What an idiot you wouldnt go back to work because of misunderstanding what your employer said?

love to live but living to die wrote:

Funzo wrote:

love to live but living to die wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

love to live but living to die wrote:

my friend's sister calls us : EYEtometrists.... lol ... (its suppose to be OPtometrist)

That's a great story, really it is.

wots dat suppose to mean?

[snip]

Im sorry Ya'qub seems more ambiguous then he actually is, what he meant is that he thinks that your story is really good.

naaah i still don't get it! ... wot story r u on abt? i wrote no story!

Look at what the thread is titled as then read what other ppl have put then read what you have put.

Funzo - can you not call anyone an idiot. Thanks.

What about people who truly are idiots?

Funzo wrote:

What about people who truly are idiots?

We call them Funzo!

OK Yaqub, I think he get's the picture.

What picture? i didnt recieve, should have used parcel force

Seraphim wrote:

This happened around the time when the new Renault Megane advert came out. You know the one where theres that song 'i see you baby... shaking that...' you know.

I was in picadilly gardens with a friend, we were walking and I had that song stuck in my head:

Seraph: hmm mmmm (starts singing) I see you baby ... shaking that a$$... shaking that a$$. {I didnt realise the women infront of us were listening... suddenly the STOP AND TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT US}
MyFriend:
Seraph: {Points to my friend} :arrow:
MyFriend: :shock:

You're cruel man!
You know when you go up to someone thinking that you know them, you say hi and then you realise that they're someone totally different!

Courage wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

This happened around the time when the new Renault Megane advert came out. You know the one where theres that song 'i see you baby... shaking that...' you know.

I was in picadilly gardens with a friend, we were walking and I had that song stuck in my head:

Seraph: hmm mmmm (starts singing) I see you baby ... shaking that a$$... shaking that a$$. {I didnt realise the women infront of us were listening... suddenly the STOP AND TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT US}
MyFriend:
Seraph: {Points to my friend} :arrow:
MyFriend: :shock:

You're cruel man!
You know when you go up to someone thinking that you know them, you say hi and then you realise that they're someone totally different!

No your just daft.

Seraphim wrote:

This happened around the time when the new Renault Megane advert came out. You know the one where theres that song 'i see you baby... shaking that...' you know.

I was in picadilly gardens with a friend, we were walking and I had that song stuck in my head:

Seraph: hmm mmmm (starts singing) I see you baby ... shaking that a$$... shaking that a$$. {I didnt realise the women infront of us were listening... suddenly the STOP AND TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT US}
MyFriend:
Seraph: {Points to my friend} :arrow:
MyFriend: :shock:

lol

That reminds me i was at work the other day and i have a habit to whistling along to the songs. My mum is always telling me off for whistling now i know why. Anyway here i was whistling along to the song and as i turned the corner some Asian guy was stood there. He started smiling (he probs thought i was whistling at him but i wasnt). I just shut up, put my head down and started walking really fast. :oops:

Funzo wrote:

Courage wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

This happened around the time when the new Renault Megane advert came out. You know the one where theres that song 'i see you baby... shaking that...' you know.

I was in picadilly gardens with a friend, we were walking and I had that song stuck in my head:

Seraph: hmm mmmm (starts singing) I see you baby ... shaking that a$$... shaking that a$$. {I didnt realise the women infront of us were listening... suddenly the STOP AND TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT US}
MyFriend:
Seraph: {Points to my friend} :arrow:
MyFriend: :shock:

[snip]

You're cruel man!
You know when you go up to someone thinking that you know them, you say hi and then you realise that they're someone totally different!

No your just daft.

Don't be sad, Funzo.

Deception, man! How did the friedn get hold of it? Weren't you like stood over it?

We went to Turkey a couple of years back, and everytime i salamed people they kept saying "you Muslim?" I just didn't get it, i was covered up head2toe!! :?

Me: Assalamu'alikum,
Man: You Muslim?
Me: Alhumdulillah
Man: You Muslim,
Me: Yes, yes Alhumdulillah i'm Muslim.
Man: But you brown?
Me: Yes, im Muslim,my parents are from Bangladesh.
Man: Bengladesh? No no, Pekistan yes.
Me: No,no,i am Muslim, my parents are originally from Bangladesh and i'm from Manchester.
Man: Oh, you from London!
Me: :roll:

I'm sat in work canteen having me dinner when suddenly a woman comes up to me.

Woman : starts to stroke my arm and says "hi are you ok?"

Me: :? (why is she asking me if im ok. Maybe she just being polite. Why the hell she stroking me arm for. Maybe shes a..... naa i doubt it, she dont look like one but she is awfully close to my face. Naz snap out of it, now is not the time for deep contemplation. Answer woman answer!

Me: "Im fine thanks"

Woman:" Do you remember me?"

Me: :? :? (stares at her face for a while) "erm no"

Woman: "remember you and your mum came"

Me: (mum was here the night with sis maybe she getting me confused with her but she looks nothing like me) "no"

Woman: "Are you from the Shaw branch?"

Me: "No"

Woman: starts to laugh. "You look just like her". Walks away laughing.

Me: :? :? :?

Did you tell her to explain herself?

i'm at the airport in saudi arabia wiTH my brother, a saudi man comes up.

man: salamu alaikum
my brother: walaikum asalam
man: where did you come from?
my brother: england
man: when did you convert to islam?
my brother: (lying) last year
man: mashalah

lol

saudi arabian people think that everyone who lives in england is actually english, and not even think about how my brother knows arabic properly

I was in Muscat,Oman:

Security: (pointing to my jeans) Are you wearing a belt?
Me: No
Security: (points to where my belt should be) What's this then?
Me: (Gives him a strange look)
Security: OK don't worry?