Very much looking forward to it.

I can't wait...although I know it would be sensible to (assuming that I get married by next summer, insha'Allah, I would be planning to start having kids at 26/27 insha'Allah. But whatever Allah (swt) ordains for me: Alhamdulillah).

I imagine I would be quite a committed father, I don't want to be chasing a career in place of 'quality time' with family.

i have for a few years now been thinking already to how to raise my kids successfully in these tough times (inshallah)

im always observing whats going wrong and how to ensure my children inshallah will avoid that problem, or know how to tackle it

i also try to look at good parenting, and inshallah hope to emulate it

you seriosuly cant afford to take parenting lightly, i see waaaaaay too many people let their children be raised by modern day society - its norms and values, its rights and wrongs..........which is problematic when they contradict deen, and have no regards for respect or adab

Ed, how has parenting changed you? and how much of a challenge is it? mind you, your child is still pretty young alhamdulillah?

I would like to be an authoritative parent, listening to what they have to say but at the same time having authority and influence over them.

But I guess it'll be fun being an authoritarian parent and bossing them about.

It's sad to see how some parents neglect their children and they grow up to be a pain up the backside. So it's vital that the kids upbringing is Islamic.

I think we do (or will) learn the mistakes from our parents coz they were born back home and have bought some traditions which conflict with Islam or are not bothered with certain things.

I am not scared, but rather worried how the kids will grow up. Coz it is something that will affect you in the hereafter. If a parent neglects their child of the Islamic upbringing then they will be accountable.

I used to dislike kids before, esp. the [i]horrible[/i] crying but my view has changed (slightly) coz there are benefits (for example the child can pray for you after you have passed away....that's if your child doesn't die before you do!)... and it's sunna.

I can just imagine. Them tiny little gremlins running around, messing everything, setting things on fire, being in trouble at school, giving me a hard time, not eating food when given, complaining all the time, expecting expensive presents. Oh, can't wait....

If you thought getting married was easy...

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsYOI1pDssI[/url]

"TheRevivalEditor" wrote:

are we gonna learn from the mistakes of our parents?

What mistakes? Ive turned out alrite (well at least i think i have). Considering both of my parents are from pak they are open minded about alot of things. If i could change one thing about my parents it would be that they practiced more Islam then culture.

Alhamdulilah my mother is a religious person but the same i cannot say about my father but inshallah he will have the tawfeeq to pray and please allah (swt) my parents have always taught me good morals and manners alhamdulilah my parents are wonderful and i love them very much and i would love to be as good at being a parent as them.

My parents didnt have enough knowledge about Islam however we met Shaykh-ul-Islam Dr Tahir-ul-Qadri at a very young age so alhumdulillah being in his company gave us a lot Islamic outlook. My parents are great and have given us everything possible.

I will approach my children in a different way, its important to start upbringing of children the day a women finds out she is pregnant, i wish to constantly listen to my Shaykh's lectures, recite durood-o-salam, attend naat/talk gatherings etc. Also gain as much knowledge possible to answer Q's that children may have as they are getting curious and require answers backed via Quran/Sunnah. I would love to instill the Sunnah into them fully from how to talk/eat/walk/behave etc inshallah.

I wish I can lead my children to please Allah (swt) and the Holy Prophet (saw). Parents are the key to leading their children to the straight path and i pray to Allah (swt) that me and my husband can do this.

I would advise you to read quran during pregnancy due to a story i heard of a man being born with the quran known to him off by heart because his mother recited the quran during her pregnancy.

Of course that too, reciting the Quran brings noor into the heart....I cant wait till my Shaykh's translation of the Quran comes in english....

Also I think parents shouldnt spoil the kids, if you teach kids no means no from day one they wont be spoilt brats!!

True i think you should teach your kids stories of the prophet (peace be upon them all) and other stories of islam so they can continue the message and be better muslims themselves. Inshallah your children will have the tawfeeq to learn about islam and have the imaan.

thanks for duas

you're being so nice today :shock:

I think its good to have a few years age gap between your children as you need to concentrate on each one to give them upbringing because it is a tough job.

Whos being nice today? me

"Irfan.Khan" wrote:

Whos being nice today? me

no the person who posted above me :roll:

Lol i think im ill, nah i maybe its because im in a good mood today.

My lil cousin well i think thats what is :? anyway, she's only 2 or 1 and when she cries she says Allah Allah Allah, her mum use to sit in a lot of dhikr gatherings when she was pregnant and still does.

Anyway my friend who is a mum maashAllah she really knows how to bring up a child, whenever there is a mehfil she brings her child there, makes her wear the hijaab and jilbab so when it becomes fardh on her, she won’t find it hard. She does tasbeeh dhikr and durood and salaam. In ramadan she would bring her to the masjid and she would also pray with us. MaashAllah she’s only 2 and understands so much now. A childs tarbiyah starts from the day they are born.

Mashallah!

Well, I'm sort of 16, so I'd want to wait before I have kids. But the sensible age is around 27, for me.
I think the biggest mistake parents are making today is, that they don't respect their children. I know it sounds crazy, but children have to see you as a GOOD and constructive friend.
I don't have a grudge against my parents, I think they're quite good now, as I'm older but.......

I want to learn from their experiences and mistakes. We need to beat the taboo subjects, parents need to show that they can empathise with thier children. I think being raised in Britain helps with empathy.

I look forward to having kids one day inshallah but I know it won't be easy. I think it's probably one of the greatest challenges ever. How do you be strict but still safe with them? I think I'll be quite strict... but inshallah still have their respect. I think your kids respecting you is just so important... but kids aren't stupid, so you have to make sure you're a good role model to them.

I think it's good to explain everything as much as possible to them, so they understand your reasons and concerns. Which means you have to be clear about them yourself. This is something some parents don't do very well I think. I think empathy, on both parts, is crucial.

I think you'd have to kind of live and learn again through your child, which will take a lot of active effort on the parents part, ie understand the time their living in without compromising any aspects of the deen. If we find it tough now it'll be much, much harder for them. So I think an Islamic upbringing is essential for success. I think I would be a completely different person today, in a good way, if I had been more aware of my deen when growing up.

No doubt my own relationship with my parents will influence greatly the type of parent I am. And I think that's a good thing. It's natural that we learn from the people around us. I think mostly I would do things very differently to my parents, even though I think we've all turned out alright lol.

I think parents these days are too naive, ie many don't seem to want to accept that their little angel could ever do any bad. I think such people need to open their eyes a bit more and be more honest with themselves.

MaashAllah go Ed!

I can’t stand nappies. Eugh

"TheRevivalEditor" wrote:

Quote:

Ed, how has parenting changed you? and how much of a challenge is it? mind you, your child is still pretty young alhamdulillah?

My son is 14 months now....

for u non parents...ITS FLIPPIN HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

only now i truely appreciate what my parents must have gone through to bring us up!

the sleepless nights...imagine ur fast asleep...dreaming that you've scored a hatrick for united (or whatever u dream about)then.... you hear the loud crying noise of a baby... its hard then to get up, make his milk, change his nappy, put him to sleep.... my wife does this incredibly well but i do my fair share hamdulillah.... then wake up half asleep then go to work:-)

once u get used to picking him up, playing with him, changing his clothes, feeding, nappies...then the hard bit comes... trying to teach him from a young age of good and bad... what i find hardest so far is to shout at my son even if he is naughty- he just smiles...so i say well done lol an dmy wife then sorts him out hahahhah
but seriously disciplining the child in a loving way is hard...

the other hard bit is FINDING TIME TO DO ANYTHING... lol
trying to run a magazine has become so hard now...cos now everything revolves around my son... when he's asleep i'll do this, when he's asleep i'll go there.... hahhahah...its crazy but funny.

in a nutshell- parenting is hard, desires commitment and patience but is very worth it and so rewarding.

Its takes a certain kind of man who can change diapers and truely you are he.

Yeah mashallah. Every father should be hands on inshallah. And affectionate with their kids. Some guys have real issues with that. :?

Inshallah i wont have those problems.

a very good one inshallah...let them do wteva dey want 2 but jus 2 da limits....

Alot of things come naturally for me... i dont foresee this as a problem.

It'd be like a movie. First I wouldn't know what to do with him/her, then I'd rise to the occasion, and become like a super-dad.

You have been watching to much of..
three men and a baby! movie! :roll:

"Mez" wrote:

You have been watching to much of..
three men and a baby! movie! :roll:

I learned a lot from my dad, I might not try to raise any kids I may have in the same way he did, but there's certain things I would follow.

He may have not been religious, but he was very principalled and had better ethics than many Muslims I know.

My parents woould never have sent me or my sister to a private school, because they were against the principal of it. They may have been able to afford it but saw the whole 'private-education' thing as grossly unfair and elitist.

While I admire that stance, it may be different if I have kids and have the money to afford it, insha'Allah. I've been to a inner-city state school, and I'm nt sure its the best environment in comparision to private education.

And no, I definately wouldn't want to send my kids to a Muslim-only school Iftikhar.

"Ya'qub" wrote:

My parents woould never have sent me or my sister to a private school, because they were against the principal of it. They may have been able to afford it but saw the whole 'private-education' thing as grossly unfair and elitist.

If i have kids then they are defo gonna go private school. The public schools are getting worse by the day.