I’ve worn an Abaya (permanently) before – during my first year of uni actually, but after a couple of glitches I had to revert back to wearing ‘normal’ clothes and since then, even though I do consider wearing it again (in fact I had some tailor-made recently) I sort of feel like my ‘normal’ wardrobe will be wasted (yes it could possibly be my nafs talking).

I mean I do wear the Abaya but it’s really not a solid thing, I wear it to the Masjid or at home (beats having so many fiddly bits when relaxing) or even when I go out sometimes. But..

Could we not just wear jeans (bootcut are cool with heels), a modest sort of top/dress and a Hijaab to cover our hair? I mean don’t get me wrong I love the Abaya, it really does feel liberating – and not only because it gives you room to breathe! But sometimes I just want to wear my other clothes.

Ok I understand that by letting one thing go, other things will start to go too, like the clothes may become shorter and shorter or tighter and tighter because it technically is 'covering' – this reminds me of a short YouTube video:

‘Shaitan The Way The Devil Works (Hijab)’- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUS0ZeGRkEY

and I have seen it happen too but what if we make an active effort to wear decent clothes?

(Although, this is without the help of Islamic Magazines many of which seem to have a fashion section which is either: fashionable Abayas or ‘normal’ modest clothes that are just ridiculously expensive – maybe I should just start my own!)

I remember the first time I wore a Hijaab (or ‘scarf’ – I’ll save the reason as to why I decided to wear it for another day), I was walking to my ICT lesson (During my A Levels, Lower 6th I think it was aka ‘first year college’.. Basically, my school had a 6th Form (college) so if I say ‘school’ I could mean both school and 6thform) only to be overlooked by both of my best friends who were waiting for me outside the room – I think I must have faded into the background when I put the Hijaab on that morning! In fact, I had to whack them (seriously) to get their attention – their reaction was good (after they had actually realised I was actually standing there) and so was everyone else’s –
"MashaAllah man, MashaAllah"
"Oh my God, you didn’t tell me that you were going to wear the Hijaab" (I didn’t know I needed your permission!)
"Did your dad make you wear it?" (Um no? what is wrong with you?!)

And weirdly, I found some guys claiming that I could show them my hair because they ‘had already seen it’ – ok..

Anyhow the point is, when I wore the Hijaab I knew I wouldn’t be able to show my hair off anymore – no more straightening, or mousse-ing, or curling for school (sigh!) and I think I was ok with it at the time, it was definitely a massive change but the doubts seemed to deteriorate after a while. Whilst the Abaya leaves me with mixed feelings and sometimes I’m swayed one way or the other but in the end I’m left where I began – unsure. And since I have worn it before I know how it feels to wear it (properly – I even wore gloves) and I know how it feels not to wear it, I am always left with no solid decision.

Anyway I’m actually writing this mainly as a means of unleashing one of the many battles within (unleash the dragon) rather than a sort of ‘call out’ as I know that when Allah allows my heart to be firm, I will wear the Abaya full time again InshaAllah.

Hmm on a side note: I wonder if Gok Wan would challenge himself to find clothes to suit a Muslim woman.. It certainly would be interesting.