If this story doesn't make you laugh so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

He is Allah (swt), the great, the King, the Mighty, the Holy, the best there is the best there was and the best there ever will be. Big it up ya'all to the big guy!

Peace is something alot of people want more than anything, everyone else just wants Robert Patterson. Yet since time began this world has never truely known peace. With all the new technological advances like... erm ipods and computers and... nunchucks. We just havent found a workable forumla. We can bounce signals all around the world, send people into space and peform brain surgery from a different continent. But we just cant workout peace.

For the sake of argument we shall assume the following tale is true. And by that i mean make up your own mind. But let me warn you, this story is not for the faint of heart, because when you stare into the Abyss, the darkness there stares right back at you.

They say that man has inside of him the potential to be a force for good and for evil. The eternal struggle of a person to control his naffs is ever on going. They say that the devil is likely to tempt us at this time, during our weakest of moments. I call this tale:

[quote]
'THE SUMMER 1994'

You know it's a credit crunch when...
* The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change.
* There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks.
* The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.
* Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb.
* Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling.
* Highgrove has been repossessed.
* Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark.
* Alistair Darling's eyebrows have turned white.

* What's the capital of Iceland? - About £3.50
* How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
* Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won’t survive the week.

If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you attend a social meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

The world ends tomorrow.
You only have time to do 5 things.
What do you do? (bare in mind u only have a single day to do them).

Throughout life we make mistakes. Sometimes they're small and sometimes they're monumental. But more often then not, mistakes lead to hurting the people around us. Sometimes when the people around us hurt, instinctively we hurt too.

In such times, we are reminded that to err is human but to forgive is divine (or some such bs lol). Forgiveness is the act of acknowledging ones mistakes and regretting the decision we now wished we had not made. Something as simple as 'im sorry' can begin to mend even the most broken of hearts.
The act of forgiving is to like setting a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. It takes much strength to forgive, for forgiveness is an attribute of the strong (Ghandi said that).

Okay so we're off to Jamarat. The site of the three devils... also known as the Big Devil, Middle Devil and the lil devil (almost feel sorry for that lil guy... almost). But I was soo gonna kick his ass anyway... the lil twerp. But with all things on this trip. Something was bound to go wrong.

People may say bad things about you.
But you must never say bad things about yourself.
But since you know all your own secrets.
You should instead aspire to be someone of whom you cant speak ill of.

So there i was in Saudi soaking up the good vibes (and the sunshine ) at one of the holiest cities in all of the Muslim world. And im wondering: "What the hell is that SMELL?"

For an enlightened people (supposedly), muslims certainly make one HECK of a mess. The streets walking to the mosque in Makkah literally STINK of garbage. Muslims of a certain national (not mentioning who) would buy food from takeouts (all the streets are lined with them) eat it outside on the street and throw the stuff on the street. Then they'd do their wudu there, even sleep there. And i wouldnt be surprised if they took a leak there too. Infact theres soo much garbage that the government has to hire a 24/7 cleaning crew... and its still not clean.