http://www.therevival.co.uk/blogs/truthsrazors/how-look-good-covered
i have exactly the same problem. But never thought about posting anything…
As its the holiday i havent been going on out (plus school's got uniform) so my "normal" clothes (which take up SO MUCH of my wardrobe) havent been used much. So i thought “urgh why not just wear Abaya full time? because, i've been doing it for the last month or so, even when going shopping and stuff.” Plus ive realised its such a big headache to match all my clothes, the pants with the tops (with sometimes the under top coz the sleeves are seethrough/too short) and the scarf. It really kills my tom-boy attitude of not-taking-long-to-get-ready. Plus sometimes ive verged on ridicule/stupid with all the layers and the different shade of “blues” or “purples” -.-
Before i only use to wear it to masjid, madrassah and sometimes when i went out with my mum. NOT that my "normal" clothes were short/tight or anything. they were pretty decent. (all of the tops knee length, all my pants ten size bigger etc..) But now when I look in my wardrobe to find something to just go out in I find that my top or just that bit too short and back then I used to just keep telling myself, "ohh its cool, its covering properly, and anyway, im not wearing it like THESE girls out there! at least i dont wear a belt to tighten my tops" (yeah yeah, keep on looking at the people below you its SO much easier...)
So i ended up in this "situation" wear i had a type of clothing for school, one to go out with mum, one to go masjid/madrassah, one to go to the park (go out to exercise), and one when im just generally going out. and it ended up being, with “different people i dress differently”. and if i was to be seen my the "madrassah" people in my "going out to exercise" gear then... =/ <- I HATE that feeling. And I felt like a hypocrite many time.
The fact that there is such a big gap in the EXPECTATION of different people and the stereotypes and the forcing-me-to-do-stuff (which i have a big problem with) i started guetting angry and thinking "urgh! im wearing loose fitting clothes so why should i be ashamed!?" and this gave me the excuse to keep on going with the whole "i can wear this its islamic" and this led to that led to the allowing myself to buy those short-ish tops (vicious circle)
And yeah, sometimes I JUST WANT TO WEAR MY CLOTHES. I usually “wear my clothes” when I go to a friend’s house. I wear my abaya on top and there’s nowt wrong with dressing up when its just “gurlz”. Or you can always dress up at home/wear the clothes you wish you could wear outside (aka tight/short/colourful) <- that’s what I do 
but you cant really push it either, plus dad/bro around. But I wouldn’t want to “push it” I don’t think my clothes are that bad!
All my Abayah were tailormade, and well..its kinda expensive and when you’ve got it you gotta wear it (value for money etc..) I remember, my brown one, the first time I wore I stepped on it and since then its got this mark where its being grated against the pavement, I thought my mum was going to kill me…But now ive realized something. I WANT A BURGUNDY COLOURED ABAYAH! o.o!!!!
About the hair stuff, you can always mouse/straighten at home, for the weekend, or when going to friend’s or when inviting friends or at weddings. Or just for yourself. Sometimes I just get so sick of looking like a tramp at home, I get the hair straightener out. (but I don’t often feel like a tramp. I like my trampiness its part of the tomboy attitude 
)
So now. Im stuch in the middle. The decision im taking now are based on my life during holidays (which mean, not going out much, not meeting much people etc..) so im scared that if I take a decision now I wont be able to stick to it =/ BUT it feels like the abayah is the rightest thing, religious wise. So I might just do it. And Allah to reward me for my effort. And look forward to wearing silk and gold and silver in Jannah. (and I can always dress up at home)
Comments
Ok I'm not kidding this is exactly like me (well almost), i too feel like i'm playing dress up for different groups.. sigh
I had the one occasion when i was paying for my new abayas (the tailor-made ones) during my work break and another customer in the same shop (probably a friend of the owners) said something along the lines of 'Haraam, Haraam' to the clothes i was wearing - you could only see my blue coat and black trousers (which are loose - not extra loose but loose). I was annoyed mainly at the fact that i wanted to wear it for myself and of course that some stranger is verbally throwing the word 'Haraam' at me - no offence, i'm sure you mean well and all but i reallyyy don't need this right now so please butt out.
She wasn't the only one though, one of my relatives said that i shouldn't put my feet in two different things (it sounds different when not said in english) and should wear the abaya full time etc etc, it's true kinda and i defo know she means well but i guess i'm not happy about me trying to please her.. i find myself avoiding going there sometimes mainly due to the clothes problem and also the fact that i don't want to hear it again.. (coward i know)
The only difference is that you seem sure that you want to wear it, me on the other hand (maybe since i've only got a few abayas) am just not sure (as i've mentioned already)
I hope that Allah makes it all easy for you InshaAllah
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
Those people are pushing culture, not Islam.
While that specific culture is Islamic, it is not the be all and the end all of Islam.
It is too easy to demand extra from others, to look down at them if you feel they are not as practicing as you etc. But that is not Islam either. Ask them to find you a verse where it says you are allowed to sneer at others or where it says to not use hikmah.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
As i've said, its because its been the holidays, since about may i havent had much contact with the outside world, well the people i know from the outside world. So wearing the abayah, right now, would be something i would do. But i dont know how i will feel when i go back to school and out and about again. Then, im sure i will start to feel a lot like you.
and pfff at that customer. you're buying an abayah!! for goodness'sake! how dare her say "haraam" plus its not even. grr...maybe you should have rubbed the abayah in her face and say "hello!!!!" urgh, they arent worth it!!
thank god! relatives havent said anything..
BUT the head of the madrassah where i work DID say something. About me having to wear THAT type of scarf over tHIS type of scarf because "i was guetting old now"
i really need to inform myself more about whats going on, and the whole abayah/hijaab thing. So that i know what i'm talking about.
So what are you planning to do? I think you should give it a try, ignoring all people and snide remarks. Then keep us posted and let us know how it goes! i will too. (as i've recently asked someone to bring back one of those bedouin abayahs, the ones that goes from the head to toes, with the arm things...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
That's what i thought! Although it didn't stop me from being put down by the comment (unfortunately).
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
Ooh that sounds interesting actually - but just to double check, is this the one um i like to call it like bat wings? - i think i need to do the research too so i know what i'm talking about.
I actually have a problem - another one =S, i'm going to start another job soon which requires a uniform, which unless i'm mistaken doesn't have an abaya option. But since i haven't started yet things could still change!
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
@ Lilly - those types of people irritate me and are a part of the focus on my blog, "land of the purest"
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
This reminds me of a forum topic i made. Probably with focus being on the wrong bullet point cuz i too was actually thinking "should i wear it, "can" i wear it, do i want to wear it? etc which is what made me cope up with the ridiculous statement and title of the topic http://www.therevival.co.uk/forum/general/6173
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
finally i can reply after reading all those links
now, yeah..that head to toe thing. this is SO NOT going to be full time. that thing actually scares me and i find it overwhelming. (just too much fabric in one go). The "biggest" i wear is two piece, an abaya and a big scarf on top (somali style, but madein France)
same problem with me. Sixth form and abaya has been banned (because of some stupid girls who used to wear it and wear their "outfit" underneath so as to go "parteh" after school -.- =@ (Actually they werent wearing "outfit" just jeans, but you dont wear jeans under your school uniform just to wear them...)
SO now, no abayah, and i need to go to work (at the madrassah) straight from school, no time for homestop and change of clothes. HENCE the idea of wearing that overall thing. (as i will also wear a triangular scarf which might be considered "small" to some, but im going to school to learn, not to get my scarf caught on fire)
still need to research what the ulamas say about hijab etc..
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
assalamu alaikum,
gosh where to start..i know exactly how you both feel a lot is down to nafs, but lot also down to self confidence, and self expression.
Im not big on promoting the emirati abayas because i think they can go against the purpose of the hijab i/e low key modesty. But i do think they are still better than other forms of clothing, it is still loose, but they are fashionable. Some are too fashionable for everyday wear. They have nice price tags with them too, but i know in brum, london, manchester you can get them. in brum i know you can get less bling bling versions starting from 40 quid. The higher end ones are nice for special occasions, check um out sisters. i like amal murad designer but don't know here to purchase her stuff it aint cheap, but wouldnt mind for maybe Eid since im fat lump i could at least wear one of those lol:
on right hand side of page, you'll find list of designers, but like i said check in your local area im sure u can get stuff like this, some inspiration gals trinny and tranny would be proud lol:
http://khaleejia.blogspot.com/2010/04/abayat-from-emirati-designer-amal-...
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]