By Irfan Khan and Sajid Iqbal

Jamal: Assallamu Allaikum Ali, Ramadan Mubarak to you

Ali: Eh...what Mubarak?

Jamal: Ramadan Bro

Ali: Has it started....I thought there was bare time for it yet?

Jamal: Woah......wake up man...this is the month we have been waiting for!

Ali: Why..are United playing Chelsea? Crap! I forgot to book the tickets man!

Jamal: Ali, Ramadan is the greatest month in the Islamic calendar and I've been waiting for Ramadan to start for ages, its such a beautiful month

Jamal: [Jamal spots Ali in the street and walks over to him] Salaam bro, how are you?

Ali: [Nah man it's him again!] Yeah I’m buzzin’ Jam. How is you?

Jamal: Alhamdulillah, I’m good. It’s been a month or so since we had a chat. What you been up to Ali?

Ali: I’ve been flexin’, chillin and dat.

Jamal: Did you give any thought to what we spoke about last time Ali?

Ali: Mmm... Yeah, yeah I have been thinking about it and I know your right but...

Jamal: Mashallah. So you ain’t gonna sell drugs anymore?

Ali: Woah woah easy bro... no need to chat like dat, some uncle might hears you and grass me up to me old man innit. You gets me?

Read the following questions and choose the appropriate response. This will give you an idea of what kind of a Muslim you really are:

A rude scene comes on Telly while you’re sat with your family. Do you…

A - Rush for the remote, switch off the telly, whilst muttering under your breath “ASTAGFIRULLAH”, I can’t believe the amount of filth they show. This is what we get from living in a kufr society”
B - Become embarrassed and quickly change the channel.
C - You watch the Telly from the corner of your eye.

By Sajid Iqbal & Irfan Khan

Jamal: Assallamu Allaikum Ali . How are you bro?

Ali Wannabe: Yo Wagowaan Jam. Not seen you's in bare time?

Jamal: Last time I saw you was in school. What have you been up to ?

Ali Wannabe: ME, I’m a businessman!

Jamal: Mashallah bro that’s good to hear. So what’s your business?

Ali Wannabe: I’m in the entertainment business. I chill people out.

Jamal: What do you mean bro?

Ali G Meets The Revival

Ali G: Boyakasha! Me Is ere with me main man from The Revival. Easy Now!

The Revival: Hello Ali. how are you man?

Ali G: Me is wantin to know about Islam, and me heard that you can elp me

The Revival: We will try to help you

Ali G: So is you a Muslim?

The Revival: Yes I am

Ali G: For real, so what is a Muslim, cos me eard you is all suicide bombers and can have 4 wives, me likes the 4 wives idea - Aiii.

How smart are you really?