By Naheem Zaffar

Hello everybody. Long-time, no see. Many turkeys have managed to escape our grasp in the past few months. Its not really our fault, as we only nominate one person/group per issue. We can't then therefore, berate everyone for their stupidity.

Lets see what we have had recently, shall we? We have the infamous caricatures insulting every single Muslim that were printed in a Danish paper. Then we have the Danish PM who refused to even acknowledge that there was a problem. That is until the economy was blind sided by the 'sanctions' imposed by ordinary Muslims who refused to buy Danish products.

If you can't rely on the Muslim leadership, you can rely on the Muslim people. Or not; as demonstrated by the prats who dressed up as suicide bombers to protest the caricatures. And then there were the other European newspapers who decided to reprint the pictures 'for solidarity and freedom of speech' when all they wanted to do was offend Muslims.

Then there is the Iranian situation. Well, saying Iranian situation, I means many many situations. First there was the blurt about Israel made by the president, which really did not help his case to win over the international community in the war of words. Well that is better than a war of nukes I suppose. Then was the renaming of Danish cookies to Rose of the Prophet Muhammad (saw).

Somebody please shout freedom fries! Come on, not only is it just as stupid, but its also a mouthful. Well the name as well as the cookie I mean. And to top it off why don't we have a nice, friendly competition to see if we can add humour to the holocaust. After all the Iranians are big on freedom of speech!

And the Turkey is…

No, ignore them pretenders to the throne. This issue, the Turkey of the Month will be Sir Trevor Phillips. Come on everybody give him a hand. He has wanted this prize for a while now.

He has finally managed to beat the previous runner-up spot we gave him last year. That time he said that under performing black students should be separated from their classmates in order to improve their education and their parents should be banned from having access to them if they do not attend parents evening.

He has now stooped much lower. And on two separate occasions! Now that is something. First he said 'be gone!'

Who should be gone? Well, anyone who challenges his notion of Britishness. Especially those 'Moslems' who may want their sharia law to be forced upon the native Britons.

What he has really said is that Muslims should be fully involved in British life, but if they want to make Britain a better place, then send them to Guantanamo... sorry I mean send them back home. No, not home, but 'Home' (say that with the little finger next to your lip and finish off with 'Muhahahhaaa').

Democracy and Sharia

"Sharia" is not just a legal system. It's a way of thinking. Its about ideals and principles. What he is saying is that Muslims should not apply their ideals if they want a better society.

If someone wants a more social infrastructure, they can work towards it. If they want pure capitalism they can work towards that. If they want any other system as long as they work within the system, then can go for it. But if Muslims want their concerns answered, they should leave the country.

The heart of this issue is not about 'Sharia law' but inclusiveness. He is saying Muslims should not apply their ideals when becoming involved in political life, as their thinking will 'taint' the system. (After all, all Muslims should strive to work within the limits set in the Qur'an – which is a primary source for sharia).

He wants Muslims to 'integrate', into society by not participating. He does not want Muslims to be politically active. Everyone is allowed to make Britain batter, as long as they are not Muslim.

By using fluffy buzz words, he actually sounds quite credible. Well that is until you look at what his words really mean. Then his words become pretty scary.

And his second gaffe? (Is it really a gaffe? Once is a gaffe. Twice is a coincidence... but this is the third time overall!) His statement that cities where whites are a minority threaten stability. Yes, multiculturalism is good, but too much is bad. And this from the head of the governments racial equality watchdog. According to him such 'plural cities' bring a risk of 'mistrust and fracture'.

That is why Sir Trevor Phillips is The Revival's Turkey of the month.