Salams everyone
Firstly, I am kind of new here, so be nice please! 
Anyway, my reason for posting is that I have a bit of a problem. I have a brother who has not embraced Islam properly.
Although he acts Muslim, reads namaaz, and reads Qur'an when told to, he only does these things because of our parents and, when out of their view, changes his behaviour and attitude completely. Lately he is becoming worse and worse, swearing repeatedly, arguing with my mother and myself for the sake of it, lying constantly, and going against the ways of Qur'an and Hadith.
I am really worried for him. If he continues this way, then surely he will land himself a place in the Hell-fire? What scares me is that he does not seem to understand that what he is doing is wrong, and does not even attempt to change his ways. It terrifies me because he is setting himself up for a bad life, and no matter how much I try to talk to him, his stubbornness always ruins our conversation and he becomes aggressive and irritable, refusing to listen to whatever I have to say.
Any advice or thoughts? What should I do to help him?
Even if you don't have any proper advice, you just have thoughts running through your head, or you have ever seen or experienced anything in any way similar, please post and let me know. You never know what you could be saying that could help me to help my brother.
Thank you
IS he a teenager?
If so, it has been described that teenagers do go through a path where they regress to the point where the only word they know is "Grrhhrrrhrr!".
Secondly, not everyone responds well to being told what to do. It can have the opposite effect where the person will rebel.
Make sure the person's knowledge of Islam is good. After that, all you can do is support the person, show dislike for unislamic activities, but you cannot force anyone to do anything.
and welcome.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Thank you for the advice, um, You.
Nice name, by the way.
I understand what you are saying, and funnily enough, he IS a teenager, but instead of talking about his teenage hormonal problems and trying to solve them, he is just making things worse and worse for himself. Also, his knowledge of Islam is exceptionally good, but he does not seem to want to act on this knowledge.
I understand your point about not being able to force people to do things, but it is very hard for me, as his sister, to sit back and just watch him self-destruct....
Whoever said that the sky is the limit didn't try hard enough!
I am probably the wrong person to comment on this subject - I have this theory about people having a "right to fail".
He Will mess up. That is a fact of life. People do things which are wrong. If you keep on telling him what the Islamic way is, it may take longer for him to decide his own self to go that way.
Instead focus on making sure that he does not do things which it is harder to grow out of. Like drugs/alcohol.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Salam Alaykum, Sahara, welcome to the Revival. Firstly I should warn you that some girl called Mez is gonna keep asking you for your occupation and favourite chocolate until you answer.
Right now let's get to the point.
Maybe, there's a reason for him being so unruly. Maybe something's happening at school. As a girl you need to know something about some (though not all) guys. They can't talk about their problems as easily as you girls.
Does he know that you're there to help him, as a friend and not as a big boss?
Have you tried telling him that he's not helping himself?
Surely you've been through tough time? Could you tell him about that? Maybe it'll help him open up.
Maybe you could ask him, in riddle mode, what makes people/him happy or angry.
Oh, by the way, don't do this when he's obviously tired or peed off. Wait till he's just relaxed. If he's playing on his PS2, Wii, XBox or whatever, tell him that you want to talk to him after a little while. Inshallah he'll be interested in what you have to say. And do a bit of dua.
It's really good that you're a caring sister, but sometimes mate, you have to take a step back.
Hope that helped!
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
If you keep banging on about what he should be doing Islamically, he will associate Islam with being nagged!
Don't lecture him, because he will back off and not share any problems he has.
Be there for him as his sister. Have a laugh with him and put up with what he is doing that is wrong. If you are close to him and he feels he can trust you then he will open up to you insha'Allah. Then (over time) you can help him get out of bad habits.
Personally, I feel its a lot easier talking to my more easy-going friends about my problems than my 'hyper-religious-zealot' ones. I feel more on their level and I feel like the more religious ones will jjust lecture me, without offering any real help. I know this is not really correct, because if they are truly religious they won't judge me, but its a natural feeling.
If you have any problems, why don't you go to him with them? Even if you don't think he will be able to offer much help, I'm sure he will appreciate the fact that you care enough about him to ask his help. This may also get him to approach you, insha'Allah.
But really, being a teenager is the most difficult time of life. Peer pressure is so difficult to deal with, and I'm sure we're all guilty of acting like idiots when we were teenagers (this is not supposed to offend any teenagers out there!) I thank Allah (swt) that I came out of secondary school still alive, and pray I never have to go through anything similar again. Ameen!
Don't just do something! Stand there.
what kindof people does your bro hang around with? has your bro always been like this or has he changed since hanging around with certain people. if he has, you need to get him away from that crew, make him understand that this is making your mum unhappy and in islam we must respect and listen to our parents as much as we can, obedience to our parents is everything. don't lecture him on the deen cz that will pull him further away and as you said, he is already very educated maashaAllah. so he knows what he is doing is wrong so try to make him realise that this is having an affect on the whole family. keep making dua for your brother and inshaaAllah he will come back to the path very soon.
Or he's just a teenager and like every other teenager this is just a phase which he will grow out of.
Alternatively, if you leave him to it he could just get worse and before you know it he's like that 24/7.
Back in BLACK
Pray.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy