Salaams All
Its typical of asian families that the brother in-law is accepted to joke around with his elder brothers wife. It could be his elder cousins wife or anyone else he regards as an older brother who has a wife.
I have seen people joking with their bhabi and some of the discussions and jokes are very explicit and filthy.
Also it is accepted to get physical in terms of the joking and I have seen this as well, often unintentionally certain parts of the body is touched, but since its only joking and messing about it is seen as normal.
The result of such joking and messing about is that it sometimes leads to fornication and again I have heard of many such cases. The child of such a liason is brought up not knowing who the father is and the real father does not know that his nephew/neice is actually his son/ daughter.
I would like to know the views of other members on this:
How can we prevent such practices?
How do we explain to our parents/ elders who are pious in terms of their ibadat that such things is haram?
And have you seen or experienced such cultural practices?
Some excellent views here http://www.7cgen.com/index.php?showtopic=13640&st=0#entry227192
Its the respect factor thats lacking...I don't have a brother-in law. However, I have a few friends that are married. And I NEVER communicate directly with them...if I have something to say to them, I pass on the message through their wife.
If anything, I'm MORE reserved around my married friends partners. Its this line that no one should cross.
What proper bugs me, is that this sort of behaviour is condoned by people in the Asian culture. I met a lady today, who gave me a lecture on Hijaab...basically cussing those people who wear the Hijaab and not the Jilbaab. And then she was told me about her son's best friends, one of whom happens to be the wife of his best mate??!! And she had no problem with it whatsoever.
She was telling me ..how she's like a sister to him, he calls her Bhabi, they go shopping together, dinner, watch films etc..... And then later on her son, also told my mum how he goes camping and on holidays with her??!!
Its so sad that people can do this and think nothing of it.
You make some valid points sister and also show the contradictions between Islam and culture
[url]www.7cgen.com[/url], the place to be
I have never actually heard of this but i have heard of mother in laws getting busy with their son in laws (yeah i know gross). One of my friends is married and i have never chatted to her husband. I dont feel the need to and even if i wanted to i couldnt because he doesnt understand english (hes from back home) and i dont understand urdu (which he speaks). My mum always chatting away with my uncles but they think more of her as a mother than a sister in law. I think once a person gets married you should give them their space. Its not gonna be the same like it were before, they have got another family to take into consideration now. I dont have a brother in law but i like to think that when i do i wont totally blank him out coz thats just rude, but i wont be pally pally either because he will be my sisters husband not mine! I think some ppl forget the relationship that exists between them or they dont realise what they are doing is wrong. As for educating the elderly/parents i think it is wrong to assume that all elders/ parents approve of such relationships.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy