Salaam
You’ve spent a whole day scrubbing your house and the only thing your Nan can say is “you’ve missed a spot”.
You get straight A’s for your school report and one B but the only thing you dad can pick up on is the fact that you got a B when you should have got an A.
You pour your heart out in some essay or article that you’ve been asked to write only for the reader to dismiss it as a load of rubbish.
You spend a lot of money buying a present for someone, only for them to tell you that they don’t like it.
Your job CV, article or marriage proposal is harshly rejected.
You put your heart, body, mind and soul into some project that you feel passionately about; only for someone to tell you that it’s a waste of time.
According to Elbert Hubbard “To escape criticism: say nothing, do nothing, be nothing”.
Criticism bears heavily on the soul as it directly attacks our pride/ ego (Nafs). So how do YOU deal with criticism?
Are you the type that wallows in self pity and decides never to make an effort with anything ever again?
OR do you take the comments on board, accept that they must be 101% true and try to implement the changes?
OR are you the unfazed, carefree type that could careless what others think?
Or does it depend on HOW one is criticised? (I.e. harshly/nicely?)
Also, are you the harsh, critical type that ALWAYS picks the faults in others?
And how easy is it for you to accept or give criticism to others?
Wasalaam
Sounds like someone had a rough day.
It does occationally wind me up when no matter what you do its not good enough. But not saying anything, doing anything or being anything doesnt help either.
As by not speaking up your not helping anything least of all yourself: you need to speak up for yourself coz no one else will. Without actually doing anything or trying to do anything you're of little use to anyone including yourself and you'll never grow with each new experience. Inorder to learn you must make those mistakes first so you can learn from them... inorder to rise above it you must first fall.
Im the type to listen to what people say and decide for myself if they are right or not. If they are.. fine i'll do my best to change that... if not ignore it. Generally i dont care what ppl think or say. I prefer not to be quick in pointing out other people flaws as i always say look at yourself and what you do before critcising other people.
Criticism is alright aslong as they provide a good reason and a way to improve it. Otherwise its no good to anyone.
Back in BLACK
Actually now that I think on it, happened a few times in politics too.
Al Hamdulillah whenever I did that in English, the teacher always gave me a high grade and were usually impressed.
Uh huh, a lot of painful; memories with that one. Very painful, especially when you actually care about it. Doesn't help when its your own family telling you its worthless; but the 'celebrating spirituality' event a few weeks back really opened doors in my heart, and suddenly everything is making sense in a way I don't think it could have before/without Islam.
Al Hamdulillah
How do I deal with criticism? Well Sometimes I wallow in self pity, despair, feel broken. It does depend on how one is being criticised.
I try to take it constructively and gracefully, possibly putting the nut on the critic if needed. (Joke)
DEFINATELY hope I don't critisice other.
[color=green] The story of when Imams Hassan and Hussayn AS saw an old man incorrectly performing wudu, comes to mind. Basically, reflecting their AS tarbiyyah and Hiqmah, they AS asked the old man to check them AS doing wudu and tell them if they made any mistakes, to make sure they were doing it correctly. The old man saw them AS and understood, thus did his own wudu correctly.[/color]
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
Nice. I love that story.
This is sort of similar to the story of the man who came and urinated in the blessed Majid ul Nabi....instead of rebuking the man the Holy Prophet
told the companions to pour water over that place...so that the man would automatically realise that this is not the Adab of the Masjid without feeling embarrassed.
I seriously doubt one anyone in our day and age could do that today without getting emotionally charged up....I heard that in my local Masjid a dog came and made a mess.....this outraged a few people so they had the dog put down. :?
WOW, they cudda tried to explain to the dog in doggy language, whose gonna look after the lil doggies family now? I hope the mosque are paying for the doggies childrens education...Its only right.
I feel your Pain lil doggy...Another fallen soldier..
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
I do not mind harsh criticisms. Much.
But then again I never really put all my effort in anything, so there is no damage to ego...
But nice' criticisms can get on my nerves. Not because I cannot take criticism, but because I have to figure out what is meant, and criticism can never reallybe nice... so is the person hiding something?
and Dawud you sure do have a bone for comedy.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I can't criticise...thats why I strongly hate taking a lead position in anything.
Wow, never met anyone that couldn't criticise, are you an Angel?
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
Lol-Don't be silly.
Basically, if I can't take something than how can I give it?