Finding a marriage partner...

Sajid Iqbal —

salaam

now if you're single and you want to get married...how do you go about finding a husband/wife?

you dont wanna go back home!
you dont wanna marry your cousin!
you dont wanna date!

so what do you do?

Those who are single here... how do you intend to find your marriage partner?

and those who are married how did you find yours?

I've always talked about setting up a revival matrimonial service.... and soon I'm thinking of setting up a matrimonial databse.... only because so many ppl out there cant find a compatible muslim marriage partner!

share your ideas pls...

Forum

TPOS — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 02:42

[quote=Lilly]

and i dont think marriage ruins your life, im hoping to marry while studying, im htinking its gona be more fun. inshallah[/quote]

studying as in Uni? i think 24 is a good age to get married lol

You — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 - 17:14

and hope they stick to you too?

but isn't all that after marriage? the bit before is the one that is being discussed which you made sound easy.

TPOS — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 - 23:04

My cousin's looking for a husband [well actually she's been wanting to get married for ageeeees so if theres any takers...lol]

and some friend of he'rs or someone sent her a pic of her brother and when she saw him she was just like o.O ewwww and he look soooooo much older than he was supposed to be.

poor girl.

MuslimBro — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 - 23:18

Is she one of them girls who is too picky? If so then I don't blame her for not finding anyone for 'ageeeees'.

Also, if you're gonna offer someone (your cousin), then you gotta post her CV so we can all have a good laugh :twisted:

You — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 00:51

She is asking why there would be a CV for searching for a marriage partner. I think.

Do people really have CV's?

Do you have one?

MuslimBro — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 01:12

I thought it was normal for people who are looking to get married to have CVs.

I've seen quite a few (as I was told to give my opinion for someone else) and even my friend who's looking to get married has one.

Ofcourse I don't have one, why would I.

You — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 01:19

I assume its all about ticking boxes, in order for someone to fit the requirements such as "must be a professional earning a minimum of £bucketloads, have a house and be 6 foot tall plus with a nice car..."

Or I may be totally wrong.

Weird concept, but I guess if you need a CV for a job, a marriage may be something a little more important.

So @ MuslimBro... spill. what did their CV's have on them?

and why are you so afriad of marriage?

TPOS — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 02:49

[quote=MuslimBro]
I thought it was normal for people who are looking to get married to have CVs.

I've seen quite a few (as I was told to give my opinion for someone else) and even my friend who's looking to get married has one.

Ofcourse I don't have one, why would I.[/quote]

Seriously?!

And if it's so normal, why wouldn't u?

MuslimBro — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 03:40

I can't believe you guys haven't come across CVs before.

[quote=Noor]^sounds like a sad concept.[/quote]
Basically in the initial stages CVs are exchanged and sometimes it is only the girl who will see the guys CV. If they agree then they meet at the girls house. It's a bit like a recruiter who sifts through CVs for a job, only inviting the best people for the interview. You wouldn't want to invite everyone to the interview.

[quote=You]I assume its all about ticking boxes, in order for someone to fit the requirements such as "must be a professional earning a minimum of £bucketloads, have a house and be 6 foot tall plus with a nice car..."[/quote]

That's what you would think. However even though the guy may have a stable job and come from a good family, the deciding factor goes to how the person looks. It's also hilarious seeing some photo's.

But you're not totally wrong as some families will only get their daughters married to someone who is loaded. The amount of some dowries nowadays are ridiculous.

[quote=You]So @ MuslimBro... spill. what did their CV's have on them?[/quote]
Pretty much the basics - Name, address, age, fathers/mothers name, height, what area they're from back home, occupation, no. of siblings. There are a few others things which I can't remember. Not forgetting the most important one - the photo.

[quote=You]and why are you so afriad of marriage?[/quote]
I'm not.

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]
And if it's so normal, why wouldn't u?[/quote]
Because I'm not looking to get married....

You — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 03:45

It is interesting as it logically makes sure the basics are covered. Or its just an excuse for the picture so that the people cna pretend to not be as conscious about looks etc (hint: they matter).

I assume all this is only for marriage agencies etc? If its a real world meet and greet, they may already know how the other person looks etc.

MuslimBro — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 03:54

[quote=You]I assume all this is only for marriage agencies etc? If its a real world meet and greet, they may already know how the other person looks etc.[/quote]
There are matrimonial agencies doing this aswell as aunties (and uncles) some of whom make some money hooking people up. I know one uncle who has lots of connections, so he'll give CVs to the girls family and if its successful and they get married, he'll take a commission, if not then he doesn't take anything.

LookingToSee — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 12:06

WOUAH! nice. uncle...

i say, just talk to each other. like who can visualize someone's height from the numbers? and what does height matter? Just see the person, if their "height" goes with what you expected then hourray!

and why take height in consideration? Height is something that person couldnt control, you're gonna condemn them for it?

this is making my head ache.

MuslimBro — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 13:26

[quote=Lilly]WOUAH! nice. uncle...[/quote]
You interested in the uncle? :p

[quote=Lilly]i say, just talk to each other. like who can visualize someone's height from the numbers?[/quote]
They do talk to each other if both party are interested. Re height, its easy to visualise and compare someone to oneself if you know how tall you are. If you're 5ft6 and the other person is 5ft9, then you know they're 3" taller than you, what's so hard about that?

[quote=Lilly]and why take height in consideration? Height is something that person couldnt control, you're gonna condemn them for it?[/quote]
Yeah, they should have been born a little bit taller.

Height is a big deal to most people, girls generally don't like marrying a guy who's shorter than them. I know someone where the girls family absolutely refused (esp the mother) because the girl was slightly taller than the guy. But they got married anyway.
For some guys, they may want to have tall children so they wouldn't want to marry a midget. There's another disadvantage of marrying a shorty, if they're abit overweight then it is more noticable than a girl who's taller. Trust me, height does matter to most people!

Seraphim — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 22:06

Interesting. I suppose I can see how there would be a natural progression to CVs in finding a potential partner. But it still has its limits. A CV cant really tell you the guys temperament or if theres any chemistry. :/

MuslimBro — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 22:16

[quote=Seraphim]A CV cant really tell you the guys temperament or if theres any chemistry. :/ [/quote]
Nor can you tell by meeting someone. The only way to really know someone is by living/traveling with them.

Seraphim — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 22:31

[quote=MuslimBro][quote=Seraphim]A CV cant really tell you the guys temperament or if theres any chemistry. :/ [/quote]
Nor can you tell by meeting someone. The only way to really know someone is by living/traveling with them.[/quote]

I disagree.

TPOS — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 - 20:45

You'd go well with another young immature bum. its not rocket science :roll:

Actually for a marriage to work you'd actually need atleast one of you to be mature and unlazy [no thats not a word]

or maybe you should wait till you mature. then again "You can only be young once, but you can be immature for life"

LookingToSee — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 - 00:42

pff find yourself your own wife, some young immature bum-with-a-capital-letter, with no career choice should be quite a match =D

unfortunatly, Revival only have young, mature females wanting to make themselves useful.

Beast — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 - 09:38

[quote=Funzo]Im an young immature Bum! with no career plans or future! Good luck finding me a wife! haha[/quote]

That can very easily be rectified by first getting a career plan and working towards it. This process will then lead you to having a future.

And so what if you're immature. That's not a bad thing to be. You don't want to be boring fuddy-duddy, do you?

So, 1) get yourself onto a college course or try harder at work and 2) change your perspective from seeing yourself as being "immature" to being "fun". Girls dig fun.