free mixing with a range of muslims and non muslim women

clubs, cafe's are a good place to pick up women.... i mean to meet new and interesting people ¬_¬

i feel going up to random people at bus stops is getting me there! eventually someone will say yes!

Not that I use it......

">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAVy-LoyD8w]

assalamu alaikum,

1. Tell your parents to put word out you are available for marriage, and tell them what sort of person you want
2. If you go to islamic groups, or know of an active pious person in the community, tell them to give word that you are looking for a like minded spouse
3. If you have brothers and sisters ask them to let their friends know also
4. If you have good friends tell them as they may have other friends and even family/cousins who could match your needs

These are all permissible ways, no excuse for dating.

5. Not my favourite method, but for some it;s the only way, register on a islamic website that takes nikah seriously, and actively works to ensure islamic guidelines are met. ie those sites that encourage involvement of a mahram. some sites that promote muslim marriages are no different than non muslim sites, i wouldn't encourage my brother or sister to visit them.

6. keep an eye out for local marriage events which are organized by muslims. Where you turn up with your mahram and get to meet ppl that match your needs. I prefer this method to the internet based one.

Personally i told my parents, and i told my brothers. Fortunately for me my brother had a friend who matched me perfectly.

What I hate about dating sites is the number of fake people they use to attract your attention only to disappear as soon as they make you sign a monthly subscription with them. If Muslim girls can't be bothered to come out of their homes, then I think we just have to go for the other gifts Allah has created and appreciate them.

If all fails, wedding parties never lets one down.

what do you mean muslim girls can't be bothered to come out of their homes??

Hajjar wrote:

assalamu alaikum,

1. Tell your parents to put word out you are available for marriage, and tell them what sort of person you want
2. If you go to islamic groups, or know of an active pious person in the community, tell them to give word that you are looking for a like minded spouse
3. If you have brothers and sisters ask them to let their friends know also
4. If you have good friends tell them as they may have other friends and even family/cousins who could match your needs

These are all permissible ways, no excuse for dating.

5. Not my favourite method, but for some it;s the only way, register on a islamic website that takes nikah seriously, and actively works to ensure islamic guidelines are met. ie those sites that encourage involvement of a mahram. some sites that promote muslim marriages are no different than non muslim sites, i wouldn't encourage my brother or sister to visit them.

6. keep an eye out for local marriage events which are organized by muslims. Where you turn up with your mahram and get to meet ppl that match your needs. I prefer this method to the internet based one.

Personally i told my parents, and i told my brothers. Fortunately for me my brother had a friend who matched me perfectly.

AWESOME!!!!

and yeah..i intend to just spread the word and wait for Daddeh to bring someone home? or maybe prince charming will knock on the door? who knows...
Im not looking forward to paying a matrimonial site...i dont want to be grateful to a freaking website for my life partner (even though that isnt my main reason why im against it)

and ROFL at all the 3 first replies. and Singlemuslim adverts are hilarious...in their lameness

Lilly wrote:

Im not looking forward to paying a matrimonial site...

Some matrimonial sites such as singlemuslim don't require females to pay, only males.

MuslimBro wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Im not looking forward to paying a matrimonial site...

Some matrimonial sites such as singlemuslim don't require females to pay, only males.

i cant think of any reasons why...

Q. I've been told Single Muslim is completely free for females. Is this true?

A. Yes, Single Muslim is totally free for all Muslim sisters. We understand the sensitivities around single Muslim females who are seeking a suitable partner for marriage. For this reason we're happy to offer free Gold Membership to all female registrants.

This entitles females full access to all the services offered by SingleMuslim.com absolutely free of charge.

I hope i never have to use matrimonial sites.
Hajjar's given the best ways to find a guy

ty i'm chuffed some folks liked my post

I've been watching ''Before You Say I Do'' on Peace TV. It's a series of lectures by Yassir Fazaga which is aired at 00.00 on Thursdays (Series Link it!)

I personally find it rather interesting

does nobody like my tactics?? hmm...

Bus stops - I don't think it's the best place to find someone BUT where there's a will, there's a way!

Funzo wrote:

does nobody like my tactics?? hmm...

hmm.... I have been seeing this same person for nearly 3 years at a bus stop. (Even though i dont stop at the bus stop nor does he but...)

Hajjar's post all the way!

and yep, ive seen that "before you say i do" i watched like...one episode...

there's also those books by Sheikh/Imaam (?) Muhammad al-Jibalee. its in a series of 4. the first one is called "the quest for love and mercy" now doesnt that sound interesting?

Hajjar wrote:

assalamu alaikum,

wa alaikum salaam

1. Tell your parents to put word out you are available for marriage, and tell them what sort of person you want

My mum doesn't have many Muslim friends, and also the idea of an arranged marriage would confuse and freak her out.

2. If you go to islamic groups, or know of an active pious person in the community, tell them to give word that you are looking for a like minded spouse

I dont go to these groups. Every one I've tried has had an agenda which made me run a mile.

3. If you have brothers and sisters ask them to let their friends know also

Hardly speak to my sister

4. If you have good friends tell them as they may have other friends and even family/cousins who could match your needs

Every single guy I know is looking for a wife! Any time someone mentions they're looking for a wife, the other 5-6 people in the group say 'join the queue!'

5. Not my favourite method, but for some it's the only way, register on a islamic website that takes nikah seriously, and actively works to ensure islamic guidelines are met. ie those sites that encourage involvement of a mahram. some sites that promote muslim marriages are no different than non muslim sites, i wouldn't encourage my brother or sister to visit them.

Without being rude... not exactly gonna be the 'best catches' available online, are there?

6. keep an eye out for local marriage events which are organized by muslims. Where you turn up with your mahram and get to meet ppl that match your needs. I prefer this method to the internet based one.

Never heard of this. Any links?

Personally i told my parents, and i told my brothers. Fortunately for me my brother had a friend who matched me perfectly.

Masha'Allah

Ya'qub wrote:

6. keep an eye out for local marriage events which are organized by muslims.

Never heard of this. Any links?

They are not "called events" but professional networking events or something (and I hear very few guys turn up to them, so anyone who does find them can be much sought after).

There was a Manchester one advertised on here.

Still lame though.

Another idea - I know of a guy whose wife will not let him go to study circles alone. Apparently there are women at mixed study circles who are actively seeking spouses and she feels threatened. So that could be another place.

Ya'qub raises some good points all of which are answered by my original post

about point 4. not all the guys are looking for the same girl and not all the girl are looking for the same girl. So you can help each other looks for a partner because one who might not be compatible with you might be compatible with one of your friends.

Related from Issue 3: How to find a Marriage partner

It more or less correlates what what Hajjar said.

would you get married to someone if you didnt like the in-laws?
what about if they didnt like you/your family?

Lilly wrote:

would you get married to someone if you didnt like the in-laws?
what about if they didnt like you/your family?

Yes and yes..is that a marriage proposal??..only joking!

Lilly wrote:

would you get married to someone if you didnt like the in-laws?
what about if they didnt like you/your family?

no and no

Lilly wrote:

would you get married to someone if you didnt like the in-laws?
what about if they didnt like you/your family?

you're not just marrying the person. the family will be there every day after too and if they are not people you can tolerate, its not exactly a good place to be.

Its probably way more an issue for the woman than the man as traditionally the woman will move in with her husband, so there will be less contact with her family.

what if they are family before becoming in-laws? like guetting married to your cousin

i would just get put off and give up, plenty more fishes in the sea...hopefully =/

@ Funzo. Tell me what i should say because i dont know

Lilly wrote:

what if they are family before becoming in-laws? like guetting married to your cousin

i would just get put off and give up, plenty more fishes in the sea...hopefully =/

@ Funzo. Tell me what i should say because i dont know

just ignore funzo

and i don't want to marry anyone im related to cuz it becomes to complicated and if the couple are having trouble then it affects the whole family and vise versa

that raises another one of my questions.

Us, the new generation, do we systematically rule out cousins and family relation from our marriage list because this is the thing our parents did/its uncool/or whatever else??