Your Funny and Crazy Conversations

G....if you didnt follow up every post of hers with a comment that has nothing to do with topic but only serves to be annoying....then you wouldnt sense any resentment!

[quote="Sirus"]G....if you didnt follow up every post of hers with a comment that has nothing to do with topic but only serves to be annoying....then you wouldnt sense any resentment![/quote]

u onn bwt mee?!

This is a conversation between my cousin bro and his wife:

{They're both sat down watching TV, while he reads the paper}
[color=violet]HisWife:[/color] {turns to him} Do you love me?
[color=blue]MyCousinBro: [/color]{still reading the paper} Why what have you done?
[color=violet]HisWife: [/color]{looking slightly hurt} I've not done anything, why?
[color=blue]MyCousinBro:[/color] Then why should I love you if you've not done anything?
[color=violet]HisWife:[/color] {with a look of shock, she punches him in the arm [playfully] and turns around all angry}.

2 Minutes later

[color=blue]MyCousinBro:[/color] Go get me a half cup of tea. 😂

[quote="xSmurfy786x"][quote="Sirus"]G....if you didnt follow up every post of hers with a comment that has nothing to do with topic but only serves to be annoying....then you wouldnt sense any resentment![/quote]

u onn bwt mee?![/quote]
No me.

[quote="Irfan.Khan"][quote="xSmurfy786x"][quote="Sirus"]G....if you didnt follow up every post of hers with a comment that has nothing to do with topic but only serves to be annoying....then you wouldnt sense any resentment![/quote]

u onn bwt mee?![/quote]
No me.[/quote]

explain the hers.. :S

Her= noor.

[quote="Irfan.Khan"]Her= noor.[/quote]

ohhh
im dumb

Got a text message off my mate that went something like this

Mate: Hey what film do you wanna see? National treasure at 8 penelope at 8.30 8.20 ps i love you let us know.

Me: :? (why she telling me that she loves me in the middle of a text) i dont have a clue what either of them are about so you lot can choose. Ps why you tellin me that you love me in the middle of a text message?

Mate: What you on about? I didnt say i love you.

Me: yes you did (sends the message she originally sent me back again).

Mate: Lol no thats the name of one of the films.

Me: :oops: 😂

[quote="Naz"]Got a text message off my mate that went something like this

Mate: Hey what film do you wanna see? National treasure at 8 penelope at 8.30 8.20 ps i love you let us know.

Me: :? (why she telling me that she loves me in the middle of a text) i dont have a clue what either of them are about so you lot can choose. Ps why you tellin me that you love me in the middle of a text message?

Mate: What you on about? I didnt say i love you.

Me: yes you did (sends the message she originally sent me back again).

Mate: Lol no thats the name of one of the films.

Me: :oops: :lol:[/quote]

Hahahahahaha Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww blessss youuu!!
My friends been wanting me to watch that film for ages now... but its sounds too soppy 4 mee lol

If i had known it were a girly chick flick i would have never watched it. Cant stand soppy girly films. Wouldnt recommend it. It was really depressing.

[quote="Naz"]If i had known it were a girly chick flick i would have never watched it. Cant stand soppy girly films. Wouldnt recommend it. It was really depressing.[/quote]

Lol, thnx.. that puts me off even more from watching it hehe.. My best friend is realll soppy lol, she likes the llovey dovey films hehe..
Im defo not watching it now hehe .. thnx Naz x

Mega LOL @ dis topic

especially Seraphim's post are just jokes.. bless and MS kids in skl ting is just funny..

Father of child in my class: Miss MuslimSister, I'd like to speak about my daughter being sexual harrassed.
Me: Erm..how exactly is she being sexually harrassed?
Father: Charlie in your class touched her bum.
Me: Er..I think charlie was being naughty or silly, I seriously doubt that he was sexually harassing her.
Father: This is my honour we're talking about. He's always looking at her too. Why arent you taking me seriously?
Me: Cos Charlie is 5years old!

Lol! where have you been?

Dopey boy: Miss I want to have your babies.
Miss MuslimSister: Just finish your maths work and then I'll think about it.

In another instance...

Dopey Boy: Miss, when you get smaller, will you marry me?
Miss MuslimSister: It depends on whether or not you start handing in your homework on time.

Wo, we didn't even HAVE homework in primary school.

Anyway, here's mine:

[i]I walk into the Post Room in my office, where two Middle-aged East London ladies were halfway through a rather heated conversation.[/i]

[b]Linda:[/b] ...and he spiked her drink, so she started acting out in front of her kids. Now they're scared to go back to her.
[b]Jackie:[/b] Where was this?
[b]Linda:[/b] At her house, she was having a party. But he spiked her drink, only she can't prove it.
[b]Jackie:[/b] And now he's got the kids? If I was her I go round there and take my baby back!
[b]Linda:[/b] mm-hmm, ain't noone taking my kids. He still wants her back, even though he treats her like this.
[b]Jackie:[/b] Well that's how they act, innit?
[b]Linda:[/b] She's blatantly gonna go back to him.
[b]Jackie:[/b] They always do, don't they...

[i]They are getting rather agitated now, they obviously care very much about the people involved. Suddenly they realise that I am looking at them in rather a concerned matter.[/i]

[b]Jackie:[/b] (To me) Why you listening in to adults' conversation?
[b]Ya'qub:[/b] I'm just surprised. I thought you were grown-up ladies, but your lives sound kinda nuts.
[b]Linda:[/b] Hahahahahahahahaha ([i]Most. Annoying. Laugh. Ever.[/i])!!
[b]Jackie:[/b] You thought that we were talking about ourselves?! That was EastEnders!
[b]Ya'qub:[/b] That's a relief. I thought you must be living quite a crazy life.
[b]Linda:[/b] Nah, she just missed last night's episode so I was bringing her up to date.
[b]Jackie:[/b] Why you being so nosey for? What if we WERE talking about ourselves, its none of your business.
[b]Linda:[/b] Yeah, stop eavesdropping on us!
[b]Ya'qub:[/b] OK, sorry. I'm going, I'm going!

[i]I hurry away before thery start kicking my butt.[/i]

At approximately the moment of the earthquake.

[b]Grandma:[/b] ITS AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!
[b]MyLilSister:[/b] Its your imagination, go back to sleep.

lol, MyLilSister has no preception of anything.

In a courtroom....

[b]Lawyer:[/b] And did your mother ever say to you that if somebody asks you the questions I am asking you, you should say that we didn't say what was going to be said?
[b]10 yr. old kid:[/b] ??????

This happened a few days after one of my friends got married. He rings me up in the early hours of the morning.

[b]Me:[/b] Helloo.... (still a lil groggy)
[b]MyFriend:[/b] Bro... theres someone here.
[b]Me:[/b] What?
[b]MyFriend (whispering):[/b] Bro, theres someone here IN MY BED? (the idiot had actually forgot).
[b]Me:[/b] What are you talking about?
[b]MyFriend (still whispering):[/b] THERES SOMEONE IN MY BED, OTHER THAN ME!!!
[b]ME:[/b] Dude, its probably your wife.
[b]MyFriend:[/b] huh?
[b]Me:[/b] You got married remember!
[b]MyFriend:[/b] oooohhhh..... yeah. Aint she sweet when she sleeps?
[b]Me:[/b] ???
[b]MyFriend:[/b] So what are you doing?
[b]Me:[/b] [HANG-UP]

I think he was being intentionally dense.

[quote=Seraphim]This happened a few days after one of my friends got married. He rings me up in the early hours of the morning.

[b]Me:[/b] Helloo.... (still a lil groggy)
[b]MyFriend:[/b] Bro... theres someone here.
[b]Me:[/b] What?
[b]MyFriend (whispering):[/b] Bro, theres someone here IN MY BED? (the idiot had actually forgot).
[b]Me:[/b] What are you talking about?
[b]MyFriend (still whispering):[/b] THERES SOMEONE IN MY BED, OTHER THAN ME!!!
[b]ME:[/b] Dude, its probably your wife.
[b]MyFriend:[/b] huh?
[b]Me:[/b] You got married remember!
[b]MyFriend:[/b] oooohhhh..... yeah. Aint she sweet when she sleeps?
[b]Me:[/b] ???
[b]MyFriend:[/b] So what are you doing?
[b]Me:[/b] [HANG-UP]

I think he was being intentionally dense.
[/quote]

I think he was just teasing you.

Pretty funny though, I'll try to remember to do that after I get married, insha'Allah.

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=Seraphim]This happened a few days after one of my friends got married. He rings me up in the early hours of the morning.

[b]Me:[/b] Helloo.... (still a lil groggy)
[b]MyFriend:[/b] Bro... theres someone here.
[b]Me:[/b] What?
[b]MyFriend (whispering):[/b] Bro, theres someone here IN MY BED? (the idiot had actually forgot).
[b]Me:[/b] What are you talking about?
[b]MyFriend (still whispering):[/b] THERES SOMEONE IN MY BED, OTHER THAN ME!!!
[b]ME:[/b] Dude, its probably your wife.
[b]MyFriend:[/b] huh?
[b]Me:[/b] You got married remember!
[b]MyFriend:[/b] oooohhhh..... yeah. Aint she sweet when she sleeps?
[b]Me:[/b] ???
[b]MyFriend:[/b] So what are you doing?
[b]Me:[/b] [HANG-UP]

I think he was being intentionally dense.
[/quote]

I think he was just teasing you.

Pretty funny though, I'll try to remember to do that after I get married, insha'Allah.[/quote]

lol. Have you seen this?

[quote=Joie de Vivre][quote=Ya'qub][quote=Seraphim]This happened a few days after one of my friends got married. He rings me up in the early hours of the morning.

[b]Me:[/b] Helloo.... (still a lil groggy)
[b]MyFriend:[/b] Bro... theres someone here.
[b]Me:[/b] What?
[b]MyFriend (whispering):[/b] Bro, theres someone here IN MY BED? (the idiot had actually forgot).
[b]Me:[/b] What are you talking about?
[b]MyFriend (still whispering):[/b] THERES SOMEONE IN MY BED, OTHER THAN ME!!!
[b]ME:[/b] Dude, its probably your wife.
[b]MyFriend:[/b] huh?
[b]Me:[/b] You got married remember!
[b]MyFriend:[/b] oooohhhh..... yeah. Aint she sweet when she sleeps?
[b]Me:[/b] ???
[b]MyFriend:[/b] So what are you doing?
[b]Me:[/b] [HANG-UP]

I think he was being intentionally dense.
[/quote]

I think he was just teasing you.

Pretty funny though, I'll try to remember to do that after I get married, insha'Allah.[/quote]

lol. Have you seen this?[/quote]

LMAO!

I've seen that program before, its hovers between excellent and atrocious.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE]Here's[/url] one I like...pretty accurate too.

[quote=Ya'qub]
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE]Here's[/url] one I like...pretty accurate too.[/quote]

I wanna watch Cbeebiess Looool..!

Last year when I went on Umrah, on the first evening I saw an icecream shop. Thought that would be a good idea. Went to it. I have learnt some arabic a number of years ago, so I was all confident. I know arabic.

I pointed at the right flavour, raised three fingers (by joining the thumb and the index fingers, palm facing out wards), and said "Tis'h". The guy looked at me with a blank stare. I nodded my head in confirmation. That is how many I want. he still kept a blank stare on me.

I Showed him the three fingers again. Said "Tis'ah", vigorously nodding by head, just in case he was doubting that i wanted three. He continued with the blank stare. This continued for a few more seconds, me saying "tis'ah", with three fingers raised, nodding my head like a loon.

Eventualy, he he broke down and asked (in urdu) "Bahai, kitne chahiye?" ("Bro, how many you want?") I replied "Teen" (three). He gave them to me. After I had paid up and was walking away, I realised I had said "Tis'ah". Which meant nine, not three.

[i]granny came from Pakistan about a month ago and she is doing her rounds. She is back at our house for a week or two[/i]

My sister: Do i have to share my room again?

Me: Yep

My sister: But i dont want to coz that means i have to make conversation with her

Me: Well you dont have to. Chances are that if you look up at her she will be off on one and all you have to do is nod.

[i]later on that day [/i]

My sister: You have my bed and il take yours

Me: Why?

My sister: coz i wanna do my work tonight and chances are im gonna be late and dont wanna be disturbing granny with the light.

Me: nice try but it aint goona work. She wont even notice the light. That woman can sleep through anything.

[i]The following morning[/i]

Me: So how was it last night with granny?

My sister: she snored and snored and snored and jangled her bangles all night. Ive got a banging headache and im sooo tired 🙁

Me: LMAO

She wears bangles when she's sleeping?

Naz's heard this one. This happended in Law and Oli is another teacher and Natalie is an Intensive student by the way.

Teacher: In R v Brown they went too far. You can only do so much sadomasochism then the court will convict you. Natalie you were doing this with Oli the other day weren't you?

That made my day!

Judge: WHO STOLE THAT COOKIE FROM THE JAR? TELL ME NOW! WHO DID IT?

Prosecution: It was the Defence, your Honour! I saw her!
Defence: Don't lie! It was the Prosecution, I swear I saw him!
Usher: No, it was the Clerk!
Clerk: It was these 3 together!

Judge: I'M SENDING YOU ALL TO JAIL FOR PERJURY! Because I took the cookie.

[quote=Courage]Judge: WHO STOLE THAT COOKIE FROM THE JAR? TELL ME NOW! WHO DID IT?

Prosecution: It was the Defence, your Honour! I saw her!
Defence: Don't lie! It was the Prosecution, I swear I saw him!
Usher: No, it was the Clerk!
Clerk: It was these 3 together!

Judge: I'M SENDING YOU ALL TO JAIL FOR PERJURY! Because I took the cookie.[/quote]

Quite funny but please keep jokes to the jokes thread and keep this thread for REAL conversations you have had/heard.