Something that is up on my other blog and was written a good couple of years ago, inspired by another Firefly based fic called cradle.

If you have not seen Firefly AND read some other fan fic out there, this will most likely mean absolutely nothing. Even if you have, some of the subtleties may not be easy to spot.

Read review and rate please.

Shadow Company - Introspection

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was just the grunt. He was supposed to go first. Would have preferred it that way too. Instead he had work to do. He knew why he was doing it. It was his job, his duty. Something he could not – would not – shirk and place on someone else.

'Course he had gutted people before, but this was different. Everyone knew you couldn't leave bodies about in the heat. Not only would they kick up a stench, but also spread disease.

Well by everyone he did not include the 'lliance. Seemed they had shipped kids straight out from inner cities without teaching them the first thing of life out here. They weren't called purplebellies just because of their uniforms.

In the summer heat the dead always left a stench. But it was worse than that. The bodies bloated as the innards started rotting, producing a bile concoction, their stomachs swelled and if not dealt with properly, they exploded. It spread disease, got others killed. There was enough killing being done using machines already.

The first time he had gutted a person was long before the war. It was the only way to preserve a body in warm weather. Afterwards he had thrown up. Eventually he got used to it. Especially in the war. It was necessary if they were to keep the bodies around to send back to their loved ones.

But this was like the first time all over again. He looked down at the body that lay in front of him. It looked almost peaceful, with the cross around the neck and his bloodied brown coat draping the body. It looks for all intents and purposes like he was peaceful. He hoped it was true. The man deserved it, giving his all for the cause. Joseph Reynolds paid the ultimate price.

The others were giving him a wide berth, as to them the body was of just another soldier perished, but to him he was more. He was kin. His big brother. The reason he had joined the war effort in the first place.
Now Malcolm Reynolds had to do what was needed. First he reached out and removed the cross from his brother's neck, gave it a quick kiss and placed it around his own. It was a small act but one he had promised long ago. Neither expected to make it out of the war alive, so they had made their peace. No sense in worrying over what you couldn't control he had said. They had a cause. If they lived to see it fulfilled, that was a bonus.

The cross was a gift from momma when he had graduated the military training, something to keep him in good faith and bring him luck. After his Demise, Joseph had wanted him to take it. Course the cross held a greater meaning to Shadow Company. Mal may not be the highest ranked there, but the cross was his promise he would fight with those who had followed his brother.

With this symbolic act carried out, Mal could no longer put off the inevitable. He would not fail his brother again. He would not leave this to someone else. He removed his knife from it's sheath and pressed into the side of his brothers stomach. His eyesight blurred with tears as he kept the bile rising from inside his own stomach and did what needed to be done.

He was gonna send his brother home. Momma would take care of him.