">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yks47E_7gVM]
edit: btw see the title? wasting time. and that talk is ONLY 30mins. how many slot of 30mins do we waste a day? and ALHAMDOULILLAH there is a pause button right? you have 10mins to spare; you listen to 10mins of that talk, then next time you have 5, you forward the vid and listen to 5. dont let Shaytaan tell you " oh but you want to be a good muslim and listen to that talk all in one go" whaaaat?? whyyyy???
__________
this talk is just so amazing, i cannot start to explain how.
this is just bits and bobs i found good. not a summary. (and i started this blog in the middle of the talk so...sorry..)
*the true believers - their effort to purify themselves come to them naturally and it also implies that when they miss out on that/or are not actively involve in it, they feel uncomfortable (you'll have to listen to the talk to understand this bit, its to do with arabic grammar and stuff):
what are those behaviours that keep us purified:
-good company,
-bcome a person of dhikr ( have a set amount of Quran reading - daily-, set amount of reciting duahs the Prophet (pbuh) told us about e.g: duahs when entering the house, leaving the house) we need to have simple goals, we need to graduate the above before moving on, before aiming higher. the best of deeds are the continuous ones.
-memorizing an ayah a day. just 10-15 mins after fajr. or in the train, repeat the ayah 10-15 times. you get to work, you know an ayah, you come back home you know 2 ayahs inshaaAllah.
*the true believer - they gard their private part - it is a very graphic ayah - Allah could have made it more subtle but He didnt. because this topic need to be taken head on. the more a believer try to purify themselves the more the opportunities to engage in shamelessness THROWS themselves at them. eg: women out of nowhere come and say hello.
We have to be extra extra careful, because the easiest thing to lose is our sensitivity to shamelessness, in a society where shamelessness is as common as the air we breathe, its just part of the culture. At the beginning you might be “astaghfirullah astaghfirullah” and always staring at the pavement, But over time you’re just like “oh that’s just life, what can I do about it”. You have this culture shock – then you get used to it. When a muslim becomes desensitize to evil = imaan is in trouble.
Kids watching movie – “oh its only pg 13” “oh there’s only ONE bad scene”
Once you’re desensitize to whats on the screen, you wont lower your gaze in the street, then you might want to try it out… Just one step after the other…downwards…
If the sons of Yaqub got to the point where they were ready to kill their brother. -They were sons of a prophet, greatsons of a prophet (Ishaq), great grandson of a prophet (Ibraahim)-. If they can do something bad, none of us can say “oh we’re a good family, we have pure blood, our kids don’t get those temptations”. That’s not possible, kids get tempted;
You have to have that concern for yourself , or it will NOT trickle down to younger generations. No hypocrisy: “oh leave the room, this is not for you to watch”.
****Practical advice
-mostly for parents but here smething I liked-
-Don’t freak out. When your bro/sis/kid come to you and tell you “this guy/girl asked me to the prom” and you start freaking out and shouting and “oh we brought you up this and that and look this and that!” and the kid is going to tell themselves “next time a girl/boy talk to me, the last person I’m coming to is YOU”.
The kids are being ridicule coz they haven’t commited zina, this is the society they’re in. we are asking them to do something difficult, we are asking them to become a subject of ridicule amongst their peers. We need to give them support, give them a way to let the frustrations out, someone to talk to, give them alternative venues. If not, We’re gona failed. It starts with wasting time (laghwa) and finish with sin (fahsha)
and that last bit of talk - he WAS talking to parents mostly. but we all have younger siblings, cousins, niece/nephews, younger kids around us. if parents are failing, then its up to us.
Comments
Assalamu alaikum
First of all jazakallah khair for sharing this video, i eventually got around to watching it alhamdulillah and i'm glad i did. Masha' Allah the brother has a lot of knowledge and he's very current, i also really like how he talks about issues that NEED to be tackled that other scholars etc avoid because it's either shameful or the people won't like them for speaking about sins which they themselves commit. Oh and is he a scholar btw? He mentioned he studied in Saudi but that's all i know about him, plus his tajweed is great alhamdulillah. Don't know why i ne ver listened to lectures before.
I have to say though that i am VERY VERY VERY VERY GUILTY of wasting time :oops: i just don't know what to do with it sometimes. Like The brother said though that is very dangerous in itself, need to occupy myself with doing beneficial things insha Allah. And the other thing he mentioned about shamefullness is very true. Why do the shayateen have to attack someone who is trying to purify themself so much, it's like shamefullness is everywhere you go :/
It's sad to see how times have changed so much and so have muslims, if i said half of the things the brother mentioned here eg. Stop watching TV, stop freely talking with the opposite sex etc. i'd get called an 'extremist' or fundamentalist or whatever, which i don't really mind. What bothers me is that muslims these days deny that there is any wrong in it and just accept it as the norm and say things like 'it's the 21st century'. Not saying that i'm perfect but all i'm saying is muslims need to accept that these things aren't right atleast. Like even the brother mentioned, he was guilty of being into computer games ie. wasting time.
Back to the topic now, about keeping our eyes on the new young generation. It's alot harder than it sounds, all the kids wanna do these days is watch TV, play XBOX and go on the internet. It's become a world of technology, if you tell them to get off the screen they'll say ther's nothing else to do. It's hard to get them to do something that will benefit them, i guess though they just copy what everyone else does like parents, siblings, friends etc. It's hard to get something out someones system when they've grown with it i guess.
No excuses though, i guess it's gonna be hard work, patience and duas for me insha Allah. Whether i succeed is up to Allah.
Once again thanks for sharing, really needed this reminder. Lots of duas for you insha Allah. Jazakallah khair Assalmau alaikum
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
essay alert...
kidding.
true, with three younger siblings (and the youngest being able to go on youtube by the age of 2ish) these kids ARE technology kids (generation T, bring it on) we had TV and loook what happened to us, their world is gona be a whole lot harder and confusing, so we gotta man up and be there for them.
and getting them off the pc is SUCH a mission. and occupying them. board games are not a privilege given to them, its like a chore "play board games, you must" alhamdoulillah havent had to go into the "play board games if you want to play on pc" thing, ALHAMDOULILLAH. buuuuuuuut at the end of the day,a board game's really fun, aka:makka to madina and you finally get to play together, and not the mutiplayer, you take the arrow key, i take the zqsd key, nah, a PROPER musliplayer games.
we're too lazy basically, to find alternatives for our young 'uns. so we just stick tthem in frnt of Pc and get annoyed when they get bored to do otehr stuff. siiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
and he went to school in Saudi, like primary and maybe start of secondry, like ar egula kid. i dont know abt his studying, ASK BILAN!!
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I reckon i'm gonna go with the 'cruel to be kind method' tell em once to get off and if they don't listen........time to showcase what i've learnt at MMA, kidding i'll just turn it off. It's hard to try make new rules for the house when there's only one or two of you willing to follow them, especially when parents become exception to every rule :/
Dictatorship doesn't work and neither does democracy..... gotta win the people over slowly me thinks, change the public opinion. Islam really does start with the household first.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Arghh talk about being tested by my words. As i type right now, cousin is watching music videos in the living room arghh this is jarrrrin! Thing is he'd probably stop it if i told him straight.....ahh and now he's getting ready for uni so he's turned it off. I reckon that was my test and i did nothing :/
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Jarrin??
We were never allowed to listen to music, like on telly and stuff. And still arent
But kids will grow up and do want they want. If they can buy iPods or even just have phones they will be able to do all sorts on there. And then there's having a tv/pc all to themselves :o. Actually t.v's full of crap these days but Internet is baaaaaad!
I watched this talk either before or during ramadhan
Oh and he isn't a scholar.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Jarrin = annoying
we weren't allowed to listen to music either but things changed....it was always allowed if it was in a bollywood film though, which to me didn't make sense. My dad was the only ine completely against music but aunts, uncles etc always opposed his views so all we had to do was hide it from our dad lol. That was pretty easy since he was always working, even though his intentions were good he failed to notice the bad affect it had at home. Mums just don't have the same authority as a father does, which equals kids annoying mum and mum either ignores or gets stressed. Tired dad comes home stressed from work to a home with a stressed out mum with both of them on the edge. All it takes is one more push and we all know what happens then....
Wow parenting is hard.
Anyway, he's not a scholar? Seriously why do all the non scholars give some of the best lectures? Maybe it's because they haven't been taught to discuss certain things in a certain way. Regardless, he seems knowledgable and i like his talks.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
So you've never listened to Pakistani or Indian music in your life?
My English is not very good
How did things change?
My English is not very good
Like all things change...gradually it becomes accepted and the society has an affect on you and it just becomes the norm. Like the brother said in the video, things work differently in the west so you've gotta take a different approach towards disciplining your kids. Not that i'm an expert and i'm sure my parents tried their best....plus i turned out alright
Seriously though being the mean older brother who doesn't let you do anything is hard. Just told my sister to switch off the TV and she wouldn't listen so i turned it off for her. Now she's just lying in bed sulking :/ plus ignoring me, pretending i don't exist. It's like i killed her best friend or something. I need help...is there any point making her avoid TV if she's too stubborn to do anything else since there's no point in me forcing her to read Qur'an etc.
Anyway....i'll report back...seriously any advice is welcome
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
That's dangerous in a way because haram things may become the norm one day
here's a silly example- kid says to mum and dad I wont to try some alcohol how would the parents take a different approach towards that?
If you turned it off for a good reason then its OK, if you did it just to show your authority then that's not fair tbh
Hope it works out
My English is not very good
@Jim Bob: Thats is WHY I told you to listen to THIS! such a fish u are sometimes.
Yes parenting is hard..I think I wrote a blog on here waaay way back about how you would raise the lil uns. To add to what feefs said, I have a lappy of my own tht no one else uses with me, but i wouldnt say im in the danger zone just yet, but I dont know how I would feel about one of my kidduns having one? :/ nt exactly clear cut i knw, but isnt it a bit hypocritical if i denied them things that i myself woulda used in my younger just fine? and like feefs also said kids do get older,what then? trust them? <<<'yh right, id surveillance their ass 24/7 more like!' i hear u say
ps: i dnt like listening to talks for 10 mins and coming back to them :/
pss: at lollywood: bury the music will ya? tis a dead tuuuuuune ma boy!
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"
*cooough* woaw, dont knw what happened there, just developed a mysterious cough outta nowhere tht i just had to mention riiight underneath this particular sentence. straaaange huh?
Tbh, I doubt that you would be able to have her avoid TV if its not her own choice. Obviously though you dont want her to be watching things that would be 'unsuitable' but tell her that. If she does watch programs that your not happy about, then say just that 'I dont mind you watching tv, but a happy bunny i am not when it comes to that program'.
im sure ur sis would understand where ur coming from inshaaAllah when put across that way rather than the 'dont make me turn it off!' approach. If the types of programs she wathes arent the problem, but just the time she spends watching, then again let her know ur position regarding that as well. Keep in mind though that shes still a young un and she has friends that are going to be watching tv as well and probably talking about it at school etc. Its a compromise rlly so its gonna need some discussing with her. Maybe a watch certain progs that come on at certain times or a watch after uve finished ur duties? Let her listen to this talk? Its easy for people to accept 'limits' when they understand what a persons reasons are, which in ur case are only to benefit ur sis. Final thing? Show/suggest things for ur sis that she could do as an alternative?
This was not meant to be tht long. Supernnany move out the way right?
However after uve tried these (other) things and nothings changed, she is still young and implementing religion into ur everyday life is something that comes with age and understanding as im sure u can appreciate, so dont despair!
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"
Time management! People arent being silly when they say this ya knw! I have alhamdulillah come to find this out for myself. I would suggest making a timetable but u probably arent so keen on tht idea but it does work! I find for myself that I dont tend to waste time, cos every minute really does count! Think about maybe a variation that would work for u? Remember u gotta put the effort in if u want something to work for u. Just what i remind myself of when i feel my slipping - the result im working for!
inshaaAlllah ull be fine, kepe the faith duday, keep the faith! 
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"
Do you put salah times in ur timetable? How much time do you give yourself? And how do you work around all of them being in a short amount of time now
In the past I have attempted to do this but it just hasn't worked. I want to try it again though and actually force myself to stick to it. I don't know how to make best use of it though, there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to fit everything in and some things may take longer than - I mean if I schedule 'history h.w' from 4-5 but I go over that then it will affect the rest of the day/week and just ruin the whole routine! Ok...I may be exaggerating, I'm gna put breaks in and sometimes I may have to shorten them...
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
you have empty spaces in your timetables, and if you miss anyone for unforeseen circumstances then you can stick it in this.
and that essay Bilan wrote about the "switching off tv for sis" thing. totally agree and abcking this up.
dont just switch it off, tell her what she's watching isnt good. or how long she's been spending in front of it. like, give her some stats; in those 2 hours you were sitting here, you could have memorized 10 ayahs which mean going up in heaven by 10 levels"
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I agree that you gotta explain why you're doing what you're doing but I HATE this sorta thing:
Just saying - different people = different reactions and all that.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I was thinking about this today actually, just couldn't remember what it was called and couldn't be asked to search for it. Jazakallah khair for the reminder. Plus i can't help being a fish, i'm bengali lol.
You should get that checked out
Seriously though jazakallah khair for all the advice guys, defo gonna take it all on board....just gotta do my bit insha Allah and be the best possible example i can be for my sister. Cause i know if i don't let her watch TV and she catches me slipping she'll never let it go, she's good at pointing out my flaws when she's angry or bored lol.
Oh and Billz, with that thing about not letting your kids or lil siblings do some of the things you do. Well i thought about that too and realised i was being a big hypocrite so i either stopped doing that thing cause i realised it was wrong or just accepted i should let them as long as everything's under control so to speak.
Gonna listen to that talk NOW insha Allah....i was about to actually go waste some time on the XBOX :oops: (need to use time more wisely and fix up my sleep...again)
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Felt the need to explain myself, although no one seems alarmed.
I think it's about being intrinsically motivated and such motivation doesn't work with rewards usually - you have to want to do it.
And chances are if you're there watching telly, you won't want to do something else, and personally I don't like these kind of stats cuz I don't like religiousity thrown in my face and I don't like being forced to do something by someone else (I guess thats cuz I can be pretty stubborn too, stupidly).
Saying you could have learnt such and such and giving quite absolute examples is just off-putting because... I lost my track of thought...well not really but I had an idea of how to explain what it makes me feel but it's lost now.
But when I understand things and I am engaged with whatever it is then I wouldn't mind doing it. That's because I would feel a 'connection' and I would get more out of it than if I was just obliging to what I was told to do.
So, find a way to teach your sister about the importance of prayer etc before trying to make her to anything. Yes fear and rewards and just forcing them can work, but I don't think it's effective in the long run. Better for that little boost of faith.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Irony.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
What is?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Wasting time in a blog about (not) wasting time.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
lol, yep different people, i do that guilt trip to myself and it works. very guilty i feel and get a move on.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
You make yourself feel guilty and know this will make you work harder.
Making other people feel guilty may not have the same effect. You have to be careful in how you approach them, and tbh a guilty concious may even make them feel bad and not to it at all.
Plus as I said, you need that connection. Again it depends on the person so some people may not be close enough to the deen to want to do what you're asking them, just because it's the right/good thing to do.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi