this is mostly about morning and evening dhikr..well i think it is. might evolve into something else by the time i finish writing this.

so basically. I've alhamdoulillah managed to attend an intenside Quran class and its had an impact on me and for that i am SO GRATEFUL TO Allah coz imagine if approximately 28hrs of talking of the Quran hadnt affected me?!

anyway. Ive been feeling like its a duty and a must and a chore for me to do my morning and evening dhikr. the thought of having to do it EVERYDAY, TWICE A DAY  for the REST of my LIFE felt like... a burden. lets be honest.

and no one will force themselves to do something they find burdensome so dhikr kinda...scattered... and wasnt at a tolerable standard at all.

then i realised. (Im really sorry, this feeling is still new (this morning old actually) and you might really not get what im talking abt coz ive no idea yet how to relate it)

I realised that this should be at the top of my priority list. I shld take a time out morning and evening, sit and do my rememberance. because this is my main purpose. this is what I'm about (or should be about). This is what is going to help me with the rest of the day and night. (it wasnt realisation. i was told to do go and sit and do dhikr and then i used my Godgiven brain and processed that info and thought abt it)

and when you read teh translation of the dhikr (when i mentionned rememberance and dhikr Im referring to the morning and evening duahs in the fortress of the muslim), the translations are amazing mashaaAllah

you tell yourself, i should make duah that Allah never takes me back to kufr and I always forget when im praying at night or whenever. and then..you sit down and make your dhikr...

"allahu inni a'udhubika mina kufr wal faqri wa a'udhubika minal 'adhabil qabr. Laa ilaaha illa anta"

"O Allaah, I take refuge with You from disbelief and poverty, and I take refuge with You from the punishment of the grave. None has the right to be worshipped except You.’"

and so you hit you forehead thinking "how could i have been so stupid. Oh my Lord, i come back to you, Accept me I beg you."

and then you read this duah:

‘O Ever Living, O Self-Subsisting and Supporter of all, by Your mercy I seek assistance, rectify for me all of my affairs and do not leave me to myself, even for the blink of an eye.’

that bold bit. Isnt it amazing?

http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=27