I feel insulted.

I demand an apology.

In writing!

with a blood stamp!

:evil:

"Admin" wrote:

I feel insulted.

I demand an apology.

In writing!

with a blood stamp!

:evil:

why?!!

were u one of the sufi/molvi who said "inshallah"?

is the joke based on u Mr Ed and HaydUH walking down oldham?

please

im not that pretty

"Darth V-Hayder" wrote:

please

im not that pretty

LOOOOOOOOOL

[b]ARE YOU READY FOR DEATH?...POEM[/b]

It was early in the morning at four,

When death knocked upon a bedroom

door,

Who is there? The sleeping one cried.

I'm Malkul Mawt, let me inside.

At once, the man began to shiver,

As one sweating in deadly fever,

He shouted to his sleeping wife,

Don't let him take away my life.

Please go away, O Angel of Death!

Leave me alone; I'm not ready yet.

My family on me depends,

Give me a chance, O please prepense!

The angel

knocked again and again,

Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,

Tis your soul Allah requires,

I come not with my own desire.

Bewildered, the man began to cry,

O Angel I'm so afraid to die,

I'll give you gold and be your slave,

Don't send me to the unlit grave.

Let me in, O Friend! The Angel said,

Open the door; get up from your bed,

If you do not allow me in,

I will walk through it, like a Jinn.

The man held a gun in his right hand,

Ready to defy the Angel's stand.

I'll point my gun, towards your head,

You dare come in; I'll shoot you dead.

By now the Angel was in the room,

Saying, O Friend! Prepare for you doom.

Foolish man, Angels never die,

Put down your gun and do not sigh.

Why are you afraid! Tell me O man,

To

die according to Allah's plan?

Come smile at me, do not be grim,

Be Happy to return to Him.

O Angel! I bow my head in shame,

I had no time to take Allah's Name.

From morning till dusk, I made my wealth,

Not even caring for my health.

Allah's command I never obeyed,

Nor five times a day I ever prayed.

A Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,

But no time had I to repent.

The Hajj was already FARD on me,

But I would not part with my money.

All charities I did

ignore,

Taking usury more and more.

Sometimes I sipped my favorite wine,

With flirting women I sat to dine.

O Angel! I appeal to you,

Spare my life for a year or two.

The Laws of Quran I will obey,

I'll begin SALAT this very day.

My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,

And keep away from self-conceit.

I will refrain from usury,

And give all my wealth to charity,

Wine and wenches I will detest,

Allah's oneness I will attest.

We Angels do what Allah demands,

We cannot go against His commands.

Death is ordained for everyone,

Father, mother, daughter or son.

I'm afraid this moment is your last,

Now be reminded, of your past,

I do understand your fears,

But it is now too late for tears.

You lived in this world, two score and more,

Never did you, your people adore.

Your parents, you did not obey,

Hungry beggars, you turned away.

Your two ill-gotten, female

offspring,

In nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.

Instead of making more Muslims,

You made your children non-Muslims.

You ignored the Mua'dhin Adhaan,

Nor did you read the Holy Quran.

Breaking promises all your life,

Backbiting friends, and causing strife.

From hoarded goods, great profits you made,

And your poor workers, you underpaid.

Horses and cards were your leisure,

Moneymaking was your pleasure.

You ate vitamins and grew more fat,

With the very sick, you never sat.

A pint of blood you never gave,

Which could a little baby save?

O Human, you have done enough wrong,

You bought good properties for a

song.

When the farmers appealed to you,

You did not have mercy, tis true.

Paradise for you? I cannot tell,

Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.

There is no time for you to repent,

I'll take your soul for which I am sent.

The ending however, is very sad,

Eventually the man became mad

With a cry, he jumped out of bed,

And suddenly, he fell down dead.

O Reader! Take moral from here,

You never know, your end may be near

Change your living and make amends

For heaven, on your deeds depends.

[b]wayz 2 tell ur asian!(Dis iz lyk so TRUE!) [/b]

U go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you ....

Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog...

Your cousin is said to have "gone abroad to get married", but
u know he’s doing time in prison...

U were taught neva to talk to strangers at primary school, yet
your parents force you to call a complete stranger "Auntie" ...

"Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness ...

You somehow think you’re related to Prince Naseem Hamed!! ...

Your remote control is still in its plastic packet ...

You studied A’ Level Maths but still think it’s possible to fit
100 people into 1 car ...

Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member
of the opposite sex ...

You think it’s a sin if you admit you’ve revised before an exam...

At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying
child fare on the bus ...

find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and
sunglasses…you ask who he is and find out it’s your uncle ...

u’ve failed your driving test 6 times, but you’ve been driving
for the past 3 years

You dance at a complete stranger’s wedding (and claim you are a
distant relative)

You are offended by this list and you’re going to make a complaint about it ...

There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway ...

You were forced to watch Indian films during your childhood, and then your parents wonder why you lack in intelligence ...

You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you
end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and
you haven’t seen half of these people in your life) ...

In University, you went to a Bhangra gig that ended with a big fight involving weird men wearing glittery pants and tacky
golden earrings...

You wonder why people stare when you hire out a grand limousine
for a wedding in a run down community centre located in the middle of nowhere ...

You have received a prank phone call at least once in your life

lol

i had did as an email : think its got more tru points lol similar 2 de above.
loooooool.

[b]You know you are Asian when..
[/b]* When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
* You make tea in a saucepan.
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
* You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
* You hide everything from your parents.
* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
* Everyone is a family friend.
* Everyone always called you for help on homework.
* You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
* You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead.
* You know no one who has studied music.
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
* Your best friend got married at the age of 18.
* You like the meat well done.
* You eat onions with everything.
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
* You say you hate Indian films/songs but secretly watch/hear them
* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
* You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
* You secure your baggage with a rope.
* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
* You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
* Your Dad drives a Nissan.
* You're rich so he drives a Mercedes.
* You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
* When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning
* To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid

* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names
* You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku
* Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son/daughter)
* Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
* Your parents drink 3 cups of tea a day
* Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
* At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan"
* No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ engineer.
* You're parent's always say while shopping abroad, "It's cheaper in India/Pakistan" \

And finally........You know you're Asian when.....................

You forward this message to all your Asian friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

making tea in saucepan???? lolz hahaha im nt gna b surprised... well saving grocery/sainsbuy's bags for d bin is defo the most common in my house lol

looooool........
my mums alwayz on about going pakistan
i call everyone uncle
i also say open the light at times lol
yea and i use grocery bags for my bin

[u][i][b]Sleepy Ummah [/b][/i][/u]
By: Masood

[b]As Bosnia was bleeding we pretended that it was nothin.
Did we really think that solution was the snooze button?

The buzzer rang again, but we still didn't wake,
We plugged our ears and acted as if it was fake.

The bombs keep dropping, the buzzer kept ringing,
"Come on man, shut up, I'm busy sleeping!"

Then Kosova came and not much was said,
"Could you be quiet, man I'm still in bed!"

Our brothers were killed right under our nose,
"Hey man, could you shut up, I'm trying to doze!"

When our sisters got raped, did we even feel lousy?
"Come on dude, shut up, I'm still feeling drowsy!"

The buzzer keep ringing and we just gave out a sigh,
"Man, do you ever shut up, I'm trying to get some shut-eye?"

Now there is Russia, who is terrorizing us some more,
But what are we doing besides letting out a snore?

The Kufar keep coming, they're trying to put out the light of our deen,
"Aw man, I'm trying to sleep, be quiet, quit being mean!"

What could happen next, what could be seen?
"Come on Masood, be quiet, I was having a sweet dream!" [/b]

I've just come across this 'poem'. It's a bit girly, but anyway...

[i][size=18]LADIES...[/size][/i]
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
Who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you
And how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,"...That's her."

[i][size=18]GUYS...[/size][/i]
Find a girl who calls you baby faced instead of hot or sexy,
Who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
Who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
Who doesn't care what you look like,
but what's inside counts the most,
Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes,
And kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,
Wants to be with you in public,
Even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants..
With the bleached jersey like always.

Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
Who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back.

Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public
And she still is in view of her friends,
While she gets off and you hear her go:"You're the one for me, for always."

....please dont man.....its killin me.....

that was a vrey nice poem, bro. Liked it a lot. any1 else like it?

liked it

loved it

but it brings pain at the same time

boohoooo

lol

pain? y?

just puts you in one of them moods

its one of them things you can probably ony dream about

"Med" wrote:

pain? y?

Maybe he has loved and lost

maybe not

hayders in luuuuuuuuurvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee.

awww bechara hayder. r u lurrrrrrrvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee sick?

i seem to remember being accused of a similar malady by a one darth hayder, just repaying the favour!

LOL

may Allah swt also keep a smile on your face

you sure put one on mine

dont worry bro

dont cry

dont get depressed

hayder there plenty fish in the sea

Ameen. Make dua for me hayder, that ALLAH keeps me happy always.

May ALLAH lighten ur face, make easy ur matter, and make u amongst the Siddiqeen. ameen Ya Rabbe Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam.

lol....plenty of fish for you my friend, i'll settle for one lol

and i got the best bait, but thats a secret

"Raf786" wrote:

hayder there plenty fish in the sea

huh?

i didnt knw he was a bengali, i thought hayder was lodhi pathan?
im confused, what have pathan got to do with fish?

Lol....

Lodhi for Life

whats a LODHI pathan and how is it different from a normal pathan

ones lohded, the other is skint...

I think

:twisted:

lol, thank god im Lohdi then

what is lodhi?