How Do You Entertain Guests?

MuslimSister —

Salaam

This is something that I’m not very good at…

Islam stresses the importance of being good hosts.

When people come to my house and I offer then food and they say No…I’ll ask again and if they still say No I’ll leave it.

That’s only cos I know how annoying it is to be forced to eat when you don’t want to eat….But my mum will not let go of a guest until she has forced them to eat (gun on head style)…she’ll empty out her cupboards for guests.

I don’t feel comfortable doing that.

I’m totally fine with entertaining kids/teenagers. But I’m so crap with aunties….I can’t talk to them (partly cos of my terrible Urdu) and also cos I don’t really like the topics they raise. But regardless of what they speak about…I KNOW that being hospitable is obligatory on me.

I know that I should smile and offer aunties samose (even if they’re chatting about so and so’s daughter from number 25)

And whilst we are obliged to be good hosts, guests also should be perfect guests…the type that don’t over stay and don’t inconvenience the family with their silly demands…

How do you entertain YOUR guests (I could do with some tips).

My British upbringing and Pakistani culture makes it very difficult for me to decide what is the right or wrong way to treat guests.

Isn’t it rude to watch TV, read or text people when guests are present?

What do you do when guests start slandering and backbiting people who you are close to? Can you nicely tell them to shut up?

And what do you do when you’re entertaining one set of guests and ANOTHER set of guests turn up?

Is there segregation in your household?

And what according to Islam are the do’s and don’t of being the perfect guest?

Isn’t it rude to come to someone’s house without phoning in advance?

What about when they leave? Pakistani culture is to make people stay when they announce that they have to go...But isnt it wrong to force people to stay-what if they really have to be somewhere?

Share your thoughts…

Wasalaam

Forum

MuslimSister — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 19:15

Salaam

..Another annoying about being polite in guest’s house is the food they sometimes serve.

I’m not a fussy eater and I’ll pretty much eat anything. However, I cringe at the idea of hot milk with skin on it or lumpy milky dishes…

And with Asians they don’t take No for an answer as they assume you’re being polite.

I was once served lumpy trifle, and the custard had massive lumps in it. And I helped myself to a teeny weeny amount so that the aunty wouldn’t get offended….she grabbed my plate and added two huge spoonfuls and told me not to “be shy”.

I seriously was trying not to gag. I couldn’t finish my plate and told my sister that I’d pay her if she finished my plate….I slipped my pudding into her plate only for the aunty to notice that my plate was empty so she filled it up again.

I forced myself to finish my plate only to be sick when I got home.

Its annoying when you end up making yourself sick just so your host doesnt feel insulted.

Wasalaam

Dave — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 19:18

lumpy milk with skin on it?!

Good God what is wrong with you people - scallops in vermouth, shrimp cocktails, bree cheese, spanikopita

These are party foods

Lumpy milk with skin on it doesn't even sound sanitary!

You should get a medal for putting up with that

MuslimSister — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 19:34

[quote="Don Karnage"]

You should get a medal for putting up with that[/quote]

Lol-Yeah I should. One day my consideration to guests/hosts will prove to be fatal for me.

Dave — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 19:36

[quote="MuslimSister"][quote="Don Karnage"]

You should get a medal for putting up with that[/quote]

Lol-Yeah I should. One day my consideration to guests/hosts will prove to be fatal for me.[/quote]

lol yea I don't think being a good hostess extends to accepting botulism with a smile

*DUST* — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 19:45

[quote="Don Karnage"]lumpy milk with skin on it?!

Good God what is wrong with you people - scallops in vermouth, shrimp cocktails, bree cheese, spanikopita

These are party foods

Lumpy milk with skin on it doesn't even sound sanitary!

You should get a medal for putting up with that[/quote]
lol, wot kinda skin u thinking of? 😉 u know wen u boil milk and there's that layer left on top, i think thats the 'skin' that MuslimSis is referring to.

but lumpy custard? ew.

You — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 19:58

The only time I can stand hot milk is if you add honey to it and use it to cure a sore throat...

Dave — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:03

I've never heard of this before...

Then again British people haven't exactly mastered the art of ice water yet so it must just be some sort of cultural weirdity.

You — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:06

[quote="Don Karnage"]I've never heard of this before...

Then again British people haven't exactly mastered the art of ice water yet so it must just be some sort of cultural weirdity.[/quote]

how will that help a sore throat?

Beast — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:11

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="Don Karnage"]I've never heard of this before...[/quote]
how do u make hot chocolate? :?[/quote]

Heat it.

Dave — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:13

[quote="Admin"][quote="Don Karnage"]I've never heard of this before...

Then again British people haven't exactly mastered the art of ice water yet so it must just be some sort of cultural weirdity.[/quote]

how will that help a sore throat?[/quote]

That's what cough drops and tea are for

Dave — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:15

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="Don Karnage"]I've never heard of this before...[/quote]
how do u make hot chocolate? :?[/quote]

Swiss miss powder mix!

Thats so very near alliteration it kills me

*DUST* — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:42

[quote="Don Karnage"][quote="*DUST*"][quote="Don Karnage"]I've never heard of this before...[/quote]
how do u make hot chocolate? :?[/quote]

Swiss miss powder mix!

Thats so very near alliteration it kills me[/quote]
huh? i'm not talking about the hot choc powder u use, but literally, how do U make hot chocolate? instructions...

Dave — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:43

Okay I don't know how to say this any other way without sounding like a spoiled brat so i'm just going to say it.

I have absolutely no idea.

I've never made it before in my entire life.

*DUST* — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 - 20:46

[quote="Don Karnage"]Okay I don't know how to say this any other way without sounding like a spoiled brat so i'm just going to say it.

I have absolutely no idea.

I've never made it before in my entire life.[/quote]
:shock: but its the easiest thing ever!! :shock:

MuslimSister — Mon, 9 Jan 2006 - 12:54

I don't know if anyone personally knows any Arabs..I've found that they really are the best when it comes to hospitality of their guests.

Dave — Mon, 9 Jan 2006 - 13:44

[quote="MuslimSister"]I don't know if anyone personally knows any Arabs..I've found that they really are the best when it comes to hospitality of their guests.[/quote]

lol while that's true there is a catch - at least the ones I know are a little [i]too[/i] hospitable. They don't exactly have the hang of "formal occasions," and very often they can be a little irritating with the constant pampering.

Mez — Mon, 9 Jan 2006 - 15:22

ahhh tell me about it!! :roll:

Aunties do not know how to control kids...

Then after they have left, mum always goes on how awuful the kids behaviour was!!

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 3 Jul 2006 - 16:13

we have guests coming over frm pakiland

dont even know who the hell they are

why is is that whenever ppl come over frm pakiland they stay at other Paki's home for months and months-why cant they just book in hotels :evil:

i hate having to give my beautiful bedroom up and i'm anti sleeping on the floor :evil:

why do guests expect u to drop everything and cancel all ur plans just because they've come unexpectedely and un-envited

Sirus — Mon, 3 Jul 2006 - 16:19

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]we have guests coming over frm pakiland

dont even know who the hell they are

why is is that whenever ppl come over frm pakiland they stay at other Paki's home for months and months-why cant they just book in hotels :evil:

i hate having to give my beautiful bedroom up and i'm anti sleeping on the floor :evil:

why do guests expect u to drop everything and cancel all ur plans just because they've come unexpectedely and un-envited[/quote]

now now....calm down 🙂 It isnt all that bad, im sure you can have fun showin them around inglaaaind!

you should always be kind to guests and welcoming, leaves a good impression of yourself and your family.

plus there is lots of barakah in the house that hosts people

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 3 Jul 2006 - 16:22

[quote="Sirus"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]we have guests coming over frm pakiland

dont even know who the hell they are

why is is that whenever ppl come over frm pakiland they stay at other Paki's home for months and months-why cant they just book in hotels :evil:

i hate having to give my beautiful bedroom up and i'm anti sleeping on the floor :evil:

why do guests expect u to drop everything and cancel all ur plans just because they've come unexpectedely and un-envited[/quote]

now now....calm down 🙂 It isnt all that bad, im sure you can have fun showin them around inglaaaind!

you should always be kind to guests and welcoming, leaves a good impression of yourself and your family.

plus there is lots of barakah in the house that hosts people[/quote]

:evil:

its not YOU who has to make tea and fry the somose's 24/7 and watch ur beloved computer n TV get jacked

our house is like a hotel-if we dont have ppl staying over frm pakistan we have kids that mum or my sister teaches over at our at a daily basis

if i ever open the door i tell say to "get lost mum is not at home"

they always make a mess :evil: