Marriage Recipe

star —

[quote][b]Recipe for a successful marriage by Mufti Ebrahim Desai (db)[/b]
"Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You" (Furqaan 74).

Q: Every human being by nature has an instinct to dispute. This instinct becomes more manifest between the husband and wife, thus leading to marital disputes. How can this instinct be controlled?

A. Consider the following ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage.

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi ﷺ to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah ﷺ and sought some advice. Rasulullah ﷺ replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi ﷺ said: "Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: " and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey". (Surah Luqman v19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah ﷺ said, 'A Mu' min is a mirror for a Mu'min.' (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi ﷺ said: "Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah." (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:Nabi ﷺ confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. "Verily there is a right of your wife over you." (Nasai Hadith2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, 'Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.' (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, 'All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.' (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499) [/quote]

Forum

laila — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 - 17:36

thats so true Yash time changes people, growing together is the key and this as you said involves communication

but some peoples idea of communication is confrontation, some men especially think a good talk is like a good grilling. because when women talk the man thinks he has to act on what she is saying and if he cant then there's a fight, whilst women especially sometimes just like to talk and be listened to thats all

star — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 - 22:21

[quote="Med"]Whats the best present you can give to your wife? anyone.[/quote]

love love love ...care & loadz of attention

[quote="Aasiyah"][quote="naj"]things happen unintentionally, BUT meeting another person could also be the best thing happenin even if its ONLY for a short time[/quote]plz explain... not sure i get wot u mean.[/quote]

i waz on about its best to get married as soon as yr engaged coz in that period you might start loving someone without no real means to do so if marriage is delayed...BUT if things cant be poss with new love coz of problems then knowing that person for that short time could be the best thing that could have ever happened to u..

Medarris — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 - 22:26

[quote="naj"][quote="Med"]Whats the best present you can give to your wife? anyone.[/quote]

love love love ...care & loadz of attention

[quote="Aasiyah"][quote="naj"]things happen unintentionally, BUT meeting another person could also be the best thing happenin even if its ONLY for a short time[/quote]plz explain... not sure i get wot u mean.[/quote]

i waz on about its best to get married as soon as yr engaged coz in that period you might start loving someone without no real means to do so if marriage is delayed...BUT if things cant be poss with new love coz of problems then knowing that person for that short time could be the best thing that could have ever happened to u..[/quote]

^^^^^

Thats the best post you've done naj.

Medarris — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 - 22:35

lol, y wudnt i be happy?

I am happy.

Everyone should be happy. You be happy and everyone else aswell.

Medarris — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 - 22:40

ewww snotty noses!!

thats nasty.

whose got a snotty nose. Naj if u got a snotty nose u gotta clean it, cos that is plain NASTY!

Medarris — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:38

[quote="Don Karnage"]lol Med you seem... different...[/quote]

explain kindly.

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:40

[quote="Med"][quote="Don Karnage"]lol Med you seem... different...[/quote]

explain kindly.[/quote]

Unusually cheerful...

Did you get a dog?

Lab... golden retriever - something along those lines?

Medarris — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:45

[quote="Don Karnage"][quote="Med"][quote="Don Karnage"]lol Med you seem... different...[/quote]

explain kindly.[/quote]

Unusually cheerful...

Did you get a dog?

Lab... golden retriever - something along those lines?[/quote]

LOL! im always cheerful bro.

Nah I didnt get a dog. Ur a joker dave. U shud knw that dogs saliva is impure in our religion and that they are not kept as pets.

I knw wt u on abt, dave, and no i aint got a dog.

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:46

[quote="Med"][quote="Don Karnage"][quote="Med"][quote="Don Karnage"]lol Med you seem... different...[/quote]

explain kindly.[/quote]

Unusually cheerful...

Did you get a dog?

Lab... golden retriever - something along those lines?[/quote]

LOL! im always cheerful bro.

Nah I didnt get a dog. Ur a joker dave. U shud knw that dogs saliva is impure in our religion and that they are not kept as pets.

I knw wt u on abt, dave, and no i aint got a dog.[/quote]

Dogs are illegal in Islam?!

That's unfortunate...

You should get a Seahorse.

Fantastic pets they are.

laila — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:48

[quote="Med"]

LOL! im always cheerful bro.

Nah I didnt get a dog. Ur a joker dave. U shud knw that dogs saliva is impure in our religion and that they are not kept as pets.

I knw wt u on abt, dave, and no i aint got a dog.[/quote]

meds got the xmas/holidays spirit 😂

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:48

[quote="Med"]i dnt need a pet, i need a life.[/quote]

You can borrow mine for a bit - i'm in finals right now and don't have much time for it.

I think it's getting lonely

"Win a Life with Dave Hamilton"

[size=7]20 points to whoever figures that delicious pun out[/size]

laila — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:49

med and don you 2 really must listen to admins jingle bells song its really sweet go on do it now

Medarris — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:50

i dnt want UR life dave, i wnt my own. Whats the point of having a life and then tomorrow having another?

Nah, I believe that just like dogs, lives are for life, not just for xmas. So when I get a life, Im gonna keep it for life.

lol.

Be happy people.

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:50

[quote="seema*"][quote="Med"]

LOL! im always cheerful bro.

Nah I didnt get a dog. Ur a joker dave. U shud knw that dogs saliva is impure in our religion and that they are not kept as pets.

I knw wt u on abt, dave, and no i aint got a dog.[/quote]

meds got the xmas/holidays spirit :lol:[/quote]

Oh goody! Sing it with me Med!!

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells SATAN Jingle all the way!

...can somebody tell me what the deal is with that thread? I can't play the file... does it have a subliminal message?

laila — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:52

no its anything but subliminal you cant have heard it all

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:54

[quote="Med"]i'll have to go background, my voice aint what it used 2 b[/quote]

That's okay i've never been a fabulous singer anyway.

I provide comic relief in church - either that or I just hum along.

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:55

[quote="seema*"]no its anything but subliminal you cant have heard it all[/quote]

So... it's loud then?

laila — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 00:57

no meaning there is nothing hidden there so you've heard it then?

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 01:03

[quote="seema*"]no meaning there is nothing hidden there so you've heard it then?[/quote]

lol no i can't listen to it - no idea what it says.

My computer was accidentally fried recently, thus I am dependent upon school computers.

Presently I am in the computer lab sitting next to an extremely creepy individual and a very cute girl who's rather charming.

We are discussing cookies.

I LOVE COOKIES.

fizzy1 — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 17:10

what kind of cookies???

i hate computer cookies, they bug me

love sweet cookies, they make me hyper

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 17:15

[quote="fizzy1"]what kind of cookies???

i hate computer cookies, they bug me

love sweet cookies, they make me hyper[/quote]

I'm talking about the edible kind.

Especially chocolate chip.

MuslimSisLilSis — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 17:17

[quote="naj"]
i waz on about its best to get married as soon as yr engaged coz in that period you might start loving someone without no real means to do so if marriage is delayed.....[/quote]

if a person really loved or WANTED to get married to the person they were engaged to

they would never in a million years even consider liking someone else

if they do have feelings for someone else whilst enagaged to someone else then they should ask themselves if they are doing the right thing

fizzy1 — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 17:25

dave - double choc chip cookies BUT even better - ben and jerrys choc fudge brownie ice cream. heaven in a tub.

mslilsis totally agree.

watching muslimah dilema today on islam channel and the topic was teenage pregnancies

they suggested the solution maybe to get ppl married younger, cuz by the time they are 16 they start getting into relationships

so if they were married at that age it wd be halal.

prob is when they are older and older and having relationships, when they cd marry their partner.

Dave — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 - 17:27

[quote="fizzy1"]dave - double choc chip cookies BUT even better - ben and jerrys choc fudge brownie ice cream. heaven in a tub.
[/quote]

Yahztee!

I love ben and jerrys.

Cookies and ice cream - put em together.

It's very good.