Which statement best sums up your feelings about friendship?

Ya'qub —

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LookingToSee — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 - 14:14

i have only muslims friends. but thats not coz i've excluded non-muslims out of my life but more coz there isnt any (hardly) non-muslims.

and these days im with bengalis so learnign all those new words like khombol and sitcarry and zibanu and hassare/hassane/hassani and khobis! nice words.

but being friends with muslims is cool, we have more in common. as we're living the same lifestyle it's more fun and we help each other out. being friend with a non-muslims to a certain extend could end up being a bit like a vegan and a carnivore hanging out. possible but i dont think this friendship can get THAT deep as they're too different. or something like that. it doesnt matter anyway.

Angel — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 - 14:44

I hope both muslim and non Muslim friends and I find that regardless of faith i am very close to them.

One of my non Muslim friend has come to my mums house and ate a few times and it's never been awkward and we have different things in common, she has now moved to London but we regularly meet when she comes down and I enjoy her company.

I have also made non Muslim friends at work and enjoy speaking to them. It's nice to have a variety of friends.

TPOS — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 - 16:31

I have both Muslim and non-Muslim friends, although my main group of friends are Muslims.

I wouldn't say that I wouldn't take non-Muslims as 'close allies', and I do have good friends who aren't Muslim, but I find it "easier" to have Muslims as my closest group of friends. They understand me better and can relate to me more and we can try and help each other. However if my closest group of friends were all (a few wouldn't be a 'problem') non-Muslims, then they more than likely would like to get up to at least some dodgy stuff and I could get influenced into doing the same. Of course that's not to say Muslims don't do bad but you can stand your ground more, if you're surrounded by Muslims who at least know it is wrong. If you get what I mean...

I guess it's like Lilly's analogy of the carnivore and vegan (I don't fully agree with that though - well I don't think it's the best example and don't see the problem with such different people hanging out)

I chose option 1, as I do believe you can make friends with anyone (err depending on their character etc, some people you just can't get on with)

😃

Foysol89 — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 - 17:01

Lilly wrote

and these days im with bengalis so learnign all those new words like khombol and sitcarry and zibanu and hassare/hassane/hassani and khobis! nice words.

Tut tut tut...typical east londeners :roll:

Anyway....yeah i don't go out much these days so not really alot opportunites to meet new peeps. Meaning i don't work, study etc. at the moment so i just hang with people i allready know, these lot all being muslims too. Not that i have issues with non-muslims, just don't choose to ever hang out with them, mainly cause their socialising usually means a haram environment and i'll just feel uncomfortable now cause i'm just used to being around muslims.

I chose option 1 cause everyday i go out i'm greeted with salams and if not even non-muslims that recognize you will even greet you. It's true all you gotta do is smile at them and you usually get a smile right back. I guess that's why so many people find friendship online too, cause on the streets nobody stops just to talk these days. However on the internet you're doing all you need to do in order make friends, just talk to people.

Still a friendship online is different to one in the 3D world. It's like half a friendship, you don't get the whole pacakage if that makes sense. :?

The Lamp — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 - 17:48

I believe Allah won't ask you how many friends you had, but to how many you were a true friend to. So we should be friends towards everyone, obviously there will be some you trust or like more than others, but if you give most people a chance, it is possible to be friends with them to a certain extent.

I hang out with Muslims and non/not-yet-Muslims, there is so much you can learn from one another.

TPOS — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 - 17:59

[quote=The Lamp]I believe Allah won't ask you how many friends you had, but to how many you were a true friend to. So we should be friends towards everyone, obviously there will be some you trust or like more than others, but if you give most people a chance, it is possible to be friends with them to a certain extent.

I hang out with Muslims and non/not-yet-Muslims, there is so much you can learn from one another.[/quote]
🙂

'The intelligent and refined find no rest in dwelling in one place,
So leave your homeland and travel far away!
Travel and you will meet new people replacing those left behind,
And tire yourself out, because it makes life worth living!
I have seen that water stagnates when it stands still,
Yet when it runs it is sweet and pure.
And if the lion left not its land, it would not catch its prey
And if the arrow left not the bow, it would not hit its aim
And if the sun moved not across the horizon,
People the world over would have tired of the sky.'

- Imam ash-Shafi’ee

LookingToSee — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 - 22:19

thats because everyone -pretty much- IS a girl... seems ive put my tomboys behind me...

anyyywaayyy....

being salaaaming people in the street for a coupla days now and ITS AMAAAAZZZIINNGG!!! some are just as shy as me and just mouth it or smile or something but some older sisters are SOOOO friendly!!! they reply so beautifully and just wouaaaaaaa!!! amazing.

Kunoichi — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 - 21:26

Hmm option one for me. Treat others how you want to be treated. However, I have noticed that as I have grown older - mainly, ever since everyone turned 18, most of my non-muslim friends social activities clash with mine so the distance has increased over the years as opposed to my muslim friends who I can still be in close contact with outside of University. 🙂

On the topic of friendship, I remembered this hadith, thought I should share:

A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.

[sahih al-Bukhari, vol 3, #314 and Muslim]

laila — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 - 16:27

Friends can make or break you especially in the hereafter. I'm cutting out negative friends, friends who gossip to start with see how that goes doubt I'll have many left but still I do feel their will be quite a few left, then will have to stick with friends from who I can learn about Islam and hw to live as a good person which if anyone had advised me should have been my only criterion in the first pace.

The Lamp — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 - 17:01

But what about friends who have recently lost who they are? Should be abandon them? Should we not try and "bring them back" to the straight path?
Allah (swt) says in the Quran: "Do not turn away those in need" (Sura Dhuha 93:10).

Where do we draw the line between wanting to help someone and make them better, on one hand, and "saving" ourselves?

laila — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 - 18:56

I've decided to save myself first but in that process I'm still open to give and receive advice when asked by friends or anyone. I can't abandon anyone totally nor can I be their guardian as their parents are that or at very least their own conscience should be their guide. In time if they are meant to stay your friends they will realise and fix the weaknesses in their character inshallah as we will be tending to our own weaknesses. And in time emerge as better friends ourselves able to give solid and honest advice the advice we have taken ourselves. I don't know if that makes sense but I do question myself because I do believe I am them and they are me, after all we will be known by our friends in the hereafter and we will be put with them, so we really have to be very careful. I wish I had known this a long time ago but there's still time to make changes inshallah.

You — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 - 20:43

no.

people improve with others, communities have impacts on each other.

by ignoring everyone, you ignore their rights too and the majority of Islam is about huqooqul ibaad - how you live and treat others.

Praying and stuff is just a simple small part of religion.

laila — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 - 21:45

Look you must treat others with respect of course you must but we must make ourselves fit as well, as individuals we correct ourselves then we can have sense of self as well as sense of community. Surely you understand how concentrating on yourself will make you a better friend, a better member of the community. I'm not denying that community is good, it is, safety in numbers and all that. But the individual is key and the key to it all.