Do you agree with the statement that "boys don't respect girls unless they know them/have some sort of connection"
But my friends said that ^ today. I've never really thought about it and i don't know any teenage boys that well. It seems like a huge generalisation but if that's true it's a horrible thought.
And why don't they? :/
So should you respect someone who doesn't respect you?
(I was going to phrase that as "Why would you respect someone who doesn't respect you?! but then I thought about myself and if i do or don't - and i don't know, i have to be given an example to think properly about it lol)
I meant a literal connection - family, friend, friend's sister, "fellow paki" :roll: etc but you could add rapport to that i guess (i don't think i fully understand what that means)
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
It's the other way round, come across girls like that, but don't know alot of guys who fit that description.
In my book, respect is earned. Until then i treat everyone with the same dismissive cbb attitude.
There are loads of guys out there that fit the above description and think themselves "players" and the girls are just stupid enough to fall for them. And then they wonder why their lives are fudged up :roll:
Hmm I think it works both ways. I've come across many guys who have clearly no respect for girls, for many reasons. Such as they think the girl is a tart so she has no respect for herself so they have no need to respect her. Or, when they see a girl misbehave they don't respect her...and the list goes on...
But the same time I've also come across girls who have no respect for guys also.
And I hardly believe respect needs to be 'earned' in the first instance. I think everyone should give respect to each other no matter what. If you are waiting at the bus stop and a person asks you what the time is or if a particular bus number has gone already, are you going to answer them back in disrespect or answer them politely?... The latter I would assume...hence respect is given in the first instance. I think it's only when someone does something to bad or stupid or something that the other person would loose that respect for him/her.
I also think one needs to respect themselves before they except other people to respect them.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Id just like to say that theres a difference between respecting someone and being polite to them. Im polite to everyone... unless i have reasons to feel otherwise. But just coz im polite to everyone doesnt mean i respect them... heck it doesnt even mean i like them.
Back in BLACK
Ok, well I think politeness and respect go hand in hand.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
So you think liking someone and respecting someone also goes hand in hand?
And do you think you should respect someone who doesn't respect you?? I mean, what if they have a reason not to respect you, but you not vice versa? Would you still not respect them?
Hmm, some people don't respect themselves
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Some people are more attached to their feelings and for them respect and manners will be linked. FOr others it may not be the case.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
What do you mean attached (i keep thinking theres a 't' before the 'c' in that word) to their feelings - how is that linked to them thinking respect + manners are linked?
I think I can be an emotional person (although like i said ^ don't fully understand what you mean) but I was thinking the other day that actually you can just like someone and be polite to them but not respect them [fully?] for whatever reason.
I use to many brackets :/
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
No, liking someone and respecting someone are two different things. You can NOT like someone but still respect them.
Respect comes in all forms, when you speak to them there is a way to show respect in your tone of voice,your politeness, attitude. You can also respect someone in things like privacy, respecting their views etc.
And yes, I think you should still respect someone who does not respect you. From personal experience, its not easy. But I guess sometimes it depends on certain situations also.
On a general level, just because someone does not respect you does not mean you don't respect them back. Otherwise you /we/I will just be as bad as that person.
What kind of a reason will someone have not to respect you? We are not perfect beings and everyone deserves respect (there are some exceptions here though).I know MANY people who DO NOT deserve respect AT ALL but they receive it, because the other person is much more wiser, mature and knowledgeable.
When I was younger I used to have the attitude of respect is earned, not just given. However, with time and certain experiences and more learning I have overcome this childish mindset.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Tell tell.
Respect and manners are interlinked. But that does mean to say there is no difference between them.
And I don't think that it applies to people who are 'more attached to their feelings'. It can apply to anyone.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Hm, this one I think I will keep to myself. It's very personal and family orientated.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Yes there's different kinds of respect and different ways of showing it which is why i said you may not fully respect someone. Maybe i should have said "to an extent" or "in some ways".
Agreed.
Don't understand the first sentence.
Yes no ones perfect, but some people just don't deserve some kinds of respect!
Why did you have that kind of mindset? :S
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
If you saw a girl wearing a mini-skirt in the middle of winter, standing on the corner of the road at night, What would your first thought be? (was asked this today)
Would you respect someone who misbehaves or is a tart?
I think again it comes to the different kinds of respects. I don't really know how to categorise them, but i do think that there are different kinds of respect. Like you may respect someone because of their actions, views, knowledge, age, [gender?], relationship etc. And you may show these in different ways.
If someone's doing something wrong, you're may not respect them for it but you may still like them as a person in general.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I meant that, for example, if I don't like you for some reasons then that does not necessarily mean I will not respect you.
In the first sentence, I meant, what could have someone done to loose respect? For example, someone might spread false things about me and I will loose respect for that person. But that does not mean I will not respect them in terms of speaking to them etc... (I really don't know if this is making any sense, there's too much distraction here).
Well, I was young and naive. I've also seen people being treated really badly yet they still keep their composure and are on a completely different level than the person who thinks 'respect is earned'. Just made me realise it's time to grow up and think with an open mind and open my heart.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Fair enough
I suppose how you show your respect also depends on culture.
Good stuff
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Yeah I agree here to some extent. I think the British culture don't even know the meaning of the word respect.
But if we follow Islam and what it teaches us in respect, then we are sorted
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
:shock: Expand please.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
too.
Thanks.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
You mean "You're welcome"
But yes, thanks lol
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Lol ok.
We (referring to Britsh in general.) don't understand the importance of elders for one thing. I've witnessed such disgusting misbehaviour young children, teens,even young adults have to their elders -there is absolute no sense of respect.
We are actually known as the worst tourist people (lack of respect of others).
We don't even respect our family and friends let alone anyone else.
:doubt:
I guess one can say the above is just personal experience/witness (a lot of experience), but the tourist thing is from Data.
Everyone has different definitions of respect so there might be some disagreement to what I've said...
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
I see.
So how do you [talking generally not just to Bijou] define respect? And does anyone agree or disagree with what I said:
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
i agree most boys who are influenced by kafir ways dont
respect females. kafirs see women as ZINA DOLLS.
it is only islam that teaches men the real value of women.
thats why shia boys have proper respect for ladies. we honour our sisters. they deserve respect from us.
kafirs use and abuse them. they exploit women everywhere, on adverts, road signs, magazines etc where you can see how little they think of females.
i wrote on all this in my blog page.
http://www.therevival.co.uk/blogs/malik/shia-sisters
Ayatollah rightly named America as "Great Satan".
www.presstv.ir
lool...Its really hard to take Malik seriously with that display pic...
@ PofS, talking about that miniskirt girl on the corner of the street after dark, well i perso wouldnt really care (knowing me i might not even see her except if i walked into her) but if i WAS to notice her then maybe i would think "hooker" but that would be a one off and i'll just forget about it as soon as i get on the warm cosy bus.
but then if i was to talk to her, end up in a conversation with her, i will (inshallah) not think/remember what i saw and most probably will have a completely normal convo with her with me given her the "standard" politeness / respect.
ans if she impresses me then i respect her even mroe and if she disappoint me then i respect her less or just dont bother.
respecting and not respecting someone requires quite a bit of energy, hence why i stay away from both.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I've been answering all these posts in my head.
Guys in general have to be brought up to have respect for girls (and vice versa girls respecting guys). I also think the person should have enough respect for themselves not to be, say caught up in a sleazy conversation because respect starts when you draw the line.
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
I randomly went to another website today jsut to see if anything was happening and noticed a blog/article/campaign/somehting on a similar topic:
http://www.muslimyouth.net/campaigns?id=13&art=112
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
you dont need to justify yours visiting this website, and as a "muslim youth" let me tell you that i choose here over there anytime. you can give them a "lowrisk" tag i say... but maybe its because they dont have a mag (well havent see a Revival mag in AGESSS tbh)
that article seemed all over the place and confused me... I didnt know how to feel after reading it...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Questions like these where the answer's obvious annoy me sometimes.
Obviously some boys are disrespectful and obviously some aren't.
Ditto for girls. Either can change, and it's as simple as that.
There's nothing (to speak of) intrinsic about being male that means they're definitely rude or ruder than girls.
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
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