no need to get stressed guys. I dont even remember the whole beginnign of this whole thing. (id rather get teased about me and my cousin then have this high tension argument...)

Lilly wrote:

(id rather get teased about me and my cousin then have this high tension argument...)

sacrifice...*cringe*

But you know, its fine. If this topic dies out with this last post. I think its going to be JUST fine.

oh you've set the date then? and all that time u spent spamming me, u ddint bother mentioning this?

Lilly wrote:

But you know, its fine. If this topic dies out with this last post. I think its going to be JUST fine.

Feef...taking. a. hint.

i can't spam you, so consider it revenge in another form

WAIT!! my spams were nice, educational and funny!

werent they?

gave you a little entertainment while you were dying under all that work

i hoped.

why does everyone think im anti men

1R4M wrote:

why does everyone think im anti men

Ocean wrote:

Feminist doesn't equal Anti-men

Ocean wrote:

MuslimBro wrote:

1R4M wrote:

why does everyone think im anti men

Because you're a feminist...

Feminist doesn't equal Anti-men

And any way, 1R4M I don't think you're "anti-men"

No one on this forum is!

Thank You

Muslim Bro prob comes across man hating feminists for a reason....

You know you're Muslim when you can calmly rationalise about the pros and cons of first cousins getting married

LOL

He prowled did he?

I am never going in a taxi again.

I think its about those that ran away to their friends houses etc. So that way, in the normal taxiing business, which would involve traveling quite a bit in the local area...

... good money though!

Ocean wrote:

but does it seem cruel? or the right thing to do?

of course its cruel, hunting girls who dont want to get married? WTH!?
i bet he's got this holier-than-thou attitude. "ohh honour...ohh community..ohh shame on the family"

was listening to this talk about the surgery of replacing the hymen and the speaker said that it shouldnt be allowed, because the cons are greater than the pros. and most of the pros have no islamic ground. like..well.. honour of the family.

plus all this talk of family honour/shame etc... its un-islamic
everybody carries their own sins. end of story. i know its more complicated than that but i dont see why it should be.

LOL! im on the opposite end. Ages back when the family wasnt so good, i use to think that if we werent muslim i would have been chucked out at 16

my point exactly. and anyway, of course guys should be "probed about their past" as much as girls. and if a girl has kept herlself "clean" until marriage then she DESERVES a husband who kept "clean" too.

and anyway, Allah said in the Quran (somewhere in An-Nissa i think) that Believing women would marry believing men and bad men for bad women. So inshallah Allah help us find a good spouse.

i heard some girls arent even BORN with hymen. You can break it while riding your bike/horseriding, lifting something heavy, falling. Mother-in-laws really need to get upgraded!

some cultures take this whole thing WAY too far...it becomes disgusting and degrading. and its not even Islam but is often attached to it and hence, give is a REALLY bad name...

Hajjar wrote:

...i think there should be some sort of test to ascertain whether boys have been up to no good, prior to marriage...

Or everyone should drop their holiness. If they build a proper Islamic environment, they do not need to enforce such things through the means that they do. If not, trying to bury the head in the sand just makes things worse.

I doubt the way that virginity is sometimes worshipped and proof of it is demanded etc in some cultures is anywhere close to Islamic.

Arab culture can be weird when it comes to privacy - I read there are ahadith about not spying etc, but many/all arab regimes are willing to spy on people to make sure they do as they are expected.

(I think there was even a case where a person was convicted of fornication/adultery because he had sent a text message planning a get together in the FUTURE. Kinf of ignores that hadith where the prophet got the person to specify exactly the act before punishment where any stopping to before it would not have been the same.)

aaaandd..you're not suppose to talk about your private life in public...so.... (cant find the hadith on cyber, got in in a book, will write it up if have time..

this is not evidence against marrying cousins. only morons fall for non-scientific claims.
i have not read one properly researched study that says it is better to marry outside the family.

It's all about chances.

and Allah's will.

Hajjar wrote:

thats not arab culture being weird YOU it's more a clash of culture and religion. I mean Arabs like any other muslims you get some who practice and some who don't. so i guess those who let cultural practices prevail over religious ones don't really care about the deeni side or are just totally ignorant about it.

Yes, its a clash of cultures and ideals when people dont uphold their ideals.

But the idea of someone waiting for proof after the wedding night so it can be proven that the wife was a virgin... that is ... well to me, it just seems twisted.

Same with all the spying in order to promote virtue and prevent vice... I thought spying was considered wrong!

If the ignorant English people bothered to do research on Pakistan as a nation they wouldn’t just follow an article based upon one tiny minority from a remote part of Pakistan.
For centuries the people of the region forming Pakistan have been marrying nations and tribes from across the world. Pakistanis of today trace their ancestral heritage back to the races of ancient kingdoms from the Aryan, Persian, Greek, Turk, Arab, Afghan, Mongol and even English empires.
The people in question who practice cousin marriages are mainly Pakistani Kashmir’s (85% Brit Pakistanis). They originate from a tiny city in the hills of the Kashmir known as Mirpur. The region in itself is isolated and mountainous, therefore marrying within the family has been the norm.
Pakistanis from the urban areas are much more forward thinking and marry outside the family and even to different races as was seen in history when Pakistanis from the North East were taken to Australia by the British to penetrate deep into the harsh Australian outback, many of these men married aboriginal women. Marriages between different races is common amongst Pakistanis but unfortunately the British Pakistanis (Mirpuries) still have the same village mentality however things are changing and only with time will people move on.
Ps – this is also not an Islamic problem as Islam is clear and gives permission and actively encourages Muslims to marry fellow Muslims from the darkest parts of the earth to the lightest parts.