How can I find a Husband without having a Boyfriend?

TPOS —

"How do I find my perfect husband without going out with a guy? I’m not going to know what somebody is really like through someone else so they may not be right for me.
Why is the Muslim way of marriage better?"

I need help answering the above questions because my friend wants to have boyfriends as she see’s that the only way of finding a husband. Obviously that’s wrong, well I’m not sure if it’s the same if you go out with the person you marry but if u do have a boyfriend and end up dumping him for someone else that is definitely a sin. Therefore I don’t want my friend to see this method as they only way and/or the best way.

Can anyone help me give her a good, convincing answer?

Any response is most appreciated,

Love you for the sake of Allah (swt) - ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE

Forum

TPOS — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 - 21:18

salamz

so all this did not actually help me. i did not manage to get anywhere the topic, she just asked other stuff which i tried to explain but she may not have understood properly :S.

Therefore i have decided that its best to just leave her alone, untill she really looks at Islam on herself when she wants to anything i say i doubt will benefit her. 🙁

anyway thanks for the help!

TPOS — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 - 17:29

[quote=Seraphim]I dont suppose shes ever considered that maybe something that she did not like is really in your interest. And its possible that the thing that she desires may actually be against her interest?[/quote]

:| erm if i've understood that properly, i dont think it is against her interest.

TPOS — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 - 15:27

[quote=Seraphim][quote=The Lamp]But isn't her desire against her interest?[/quote]

exactly... thank you lampy.[/quote]

o erm ok :S thank you The lamp, seraphim iv told u im not clever! i thought u mean interest as in something she wants to do but obviously that would be the desire :roll: ... o well

1R4M — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 - 21:48

Parents
sometimes they make crap choices
sometimes they dont

ermmmm
uni is a good place
how about the ISOC
they could do something
and like someone mentioned in a post above, if they wanna get to know each other, then make sure theres always someone with them so things dont get naughty!

Naz* (not verified) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 - 22:19

[quote=1R4M]Parents
sometimes they make crap choices
sometimes they dont

ermmmm
uni is a good place
how about the ISOC
they could do something
and like someone mentioned in a post above, if they wanna get to know each other, then make sure theres always someone with them so things dont get naughty![/quote]

You are jokin right?

You — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 - 22:28

As long as its not used as a dating service... but if itleads to a situation where you find someone you want to marry, then its all good IMO.

With the old was of parentally arranged marriages (slowly?) going out of the window, there need to be good alternatives - I do not think matchmaking sites etc should become the norm, but a extreme.

Ya'qub — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 - 23:04

[quote=Naz*][quote=1R4M]Parents
sometimes they make crap choices
sometimes they dont

ermmmm
uni is a good place
how about the ISOC
they could do something
and like someone mentioned in a post above, if they wanna get to know each other, then make sure theres always someone with them so things dont get naughty![/quote]

You are jokin right?[/quote]

Isnt' that the WHOLE POINT of an ISOC (apart from bringing about the re-establishment of the Caliphate)?!

Fateha 6 — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 - 13:28

if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx

Omrow — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 - 13:44

Salam

Good question Miss Power.

This is what I think:

Good women have the ability to to find a perfect man to be their husband.

You dont have to sleep with anyone to find out what his personality is really like.

That act would only reveal the nature of his other brain.

In fact, that misdeed only tells you what organ he uses for thinking.

Good ladies know exactly what they are looking for.

This knowledge should help them cut the chase, and get straight to the heart of the matter.

They are quite intelligent.

Therefore, they dont HAVE to go out with a man and spend long hours in dark corners.

All that they would really NEED is a few hours to fathom his soul.

Now do you see what I mean? Women do have the power.

Omrow

p.s. - you may also read this website:

http://sissymen.blogspot.com/

1R4M — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 - 13:43

[quote=MuslimBro][quote=1R4M]wait
ISOC is the oxford one isnt it???
OOPS!
ok
I meant uni islamic society
of anywhere![/quote]
ISoc means Islamic Society.

Where did you get Oxford from?[/quote]

ermmm
im not sure
I thought it was an anacronym!

yu know
like the oxford one is ISOC
and...like the one in manchester was ISOM (Islamic Society Of Manchester_
I guess I was wrong!

You — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 - 14:29

ISOC seems to be a popular acronym for many things. "International Society" being one.

PS Following the lead from Manchester, the Oxford one would be called ISOO or ISOX the Cambridge one would be called ISOC.

TPOS — Wed, 4 Feb 2009 - 21:59

[quote=Omrow]Salam

Good question Miss Power.

This is what I think:

Good women have the ability to to find a perfect man to be their husband.

You dont have to sleep with anyone to find out what his personality is really like.

That act would only reveal the nature of his other brain.

In fact, that misdeed only tells you what organ he uses for thinking.

Good ladies know exactly what they are looking for.

This knowledge should help them cut the chase, and get straight to the heart of the matter.

They are quite intelligent.

Therefore, they dont HAVE to go out with a man and spend long hours in dark corners.

All that they would really NEED is a few hours to fathom his soul.

Now do you see what I mean? Women do have the power.

Omrow

p.s. - you may also read this website:

http://sissymen.blogspot.com/[/quote]

😛 Hey Omrow! i thought u had disappeared somewhere!Thanks for the comment erm i may read that blog but from the http it sounds like i may waste my time on it? lol

Naz* (not verified) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 - 17:12

[quote=1R4M]whats so bad about that?!

asking them to find someone
when ur ready to ge married
ppl do it all the time

wait
ISOC is the oxford one isnt it???
OOPS!
ok
I meant uni islamic society
of anywhere![/quote]

IMO i dont think they are they best ppl to turn to when finding a life partner for the obvious reason they dont know you. Your better off with family and friends.

Naz* (not verified) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 - 17:13

[quote=Omrow]Salam

Good question Miss Power.

This is what I think:

Good women have the ability to to find a perfect man to be their husband.

You dont have to sleep with anyone to find out what his personality is really like.

That act would only reveal the nature of his other brain.

In fact, that misdeed only tells you what organ he uses for thinking.

Good ladies know exactly what they are looking for.
This knowledge should help them cut the chase, and get straight to the heart of the matter.

They are quite intelligent.

Therefore, they dont HAVE to go out with a man and spend long hours in dark corners.

All that they would really NEED is a few hours to fathom his soul.

Now do you see what I mean? Women do have the power.

Omrow

p.s. - you may also read this website:

http://sissymen.blogspot.com/[/quote]

MashAllah well said

Seraphim — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 16:25

[quote=Fateha 6]if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx
[/quote]

Ofcourse theres something wrong with it. He could be psycho murderer for all she knows. Best to take someone with you (or atleast tell him such and such a person knows where she is) just so he has an incentive to keep things kosher.

TPOS — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 16:27

[quote=Seraphim][quote=Fateha 6]if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx
[/quote]

Ofcourse theres something wrong with it. He could be psycho murderer for all she knows. Best to take someone with you (or atleast tell him such and such a person knows where she is) just so he has an incentive to keep things kosher.[/quote]

Can u be alone with the guy?

Seraphim — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 16:31

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=Seraphim][quote=Fateha 6]if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx
[/quote]

Ofcourse theres something wrong with it. He could be psycho murderer for all she knows. Best to take someone with you (or atleast tell him such and such a person knows where she is) just so he has an incentive to keep things kosher.[/quote]

Can u be alone with the guy?[/quote]

No, that was what i was saying. Take someone with you, so he doesnt get too friendly.

lmao, i was just imagining what it would look like if you took your Grandma with you 😂 she'd take off her slipper and chuck it at the guy if he tried anything 😂

TPOS — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 16:34

[quote=Seraphim][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=Seraphim][quote=Fateha 6]if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx
[/quote]

Ofcourse theres something wrong with it. He could be psycho murderer for all she knows. Best to take someone with you (or atleast tell him such and such a person knows where she is) just so he has an incentive to keep things kosher.[/quote]

Can u be alone with the guy?[/quote]

No, that was what i was saying. Take someone with you, so he doesnt get too friendly.

lmao, i was just imagining what it would look like if you took your Grandma with you 😂 she'd take off her slipper and chuck it at the guy if he tried anything :lol:[/quote]

Lol and all the insults and stuff old people come out with is FUNNY!

Ya'qub — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 16:35

[quote=Seraphim][quote=Fateha 6]if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx
[/quote]

Ofcourse theres something wrong with it. He could be psycho murderer for all she knows. Best to take someone with you (or atleast tell him such and such a person knows where she is) just so he has an incentive to keep things kosher.[/quote]

What if he's a psycho murderer and then you marry him?!

Seraphim — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 16:38

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=Seraphim][quote=Fateha 6]if u know he is the guy you are gonna marry, then in my personal opinion there is no wrong in getting to know him, but if she is going date guys to find the right one i am not so sure. ask her what she wants in life, that may help.

best of luck. 🙂

fateha xxx
[/quote]

Ofcourse theres something wrong with it. He could be psycho murderer for all she knows. Best to take someone with you (or atleast tell him such and such a person knows where she is) just so he has an incentive to keep things kosher.[/quote]

What if he's a psycho murderer and then you marry him?![/quote]

Going off into fantasy land is hardly the point of this thread.
If he is a psycho murderer she should be able to spot it... if not then maybe get used to writing letters to each other whilst he's in prison.

TPOS — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 17:21

[quote=Seraphim]Going off into fantasy land is hardly the point of this thread.If he is a psycho murderer she should be able to spot it... if not then maybe get used to writing letters to each other whilst he's in prison.
[/quote]

Lol! how exactly would she be able to spot it? if he is a good enough criminal he would obviously cover his tracks!

Seraphim — Thu, 5 Feb 2009 - 17:45

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=Seraphim]Going off into fantasy land is hardly the point of this thread.If he is a psycho murderer she should be able to spot it... if not then maybe get used to writing letters to each other whilst he's in prison.
[/quote]

Lol! how exactly would she be able to spot it? if he is a good enough criminal he would obviously cover his tracks![/quote]

Criminals arent usually that clever tbh. They tend to get sloppy.
But thats neither here nor there... and we're going off topic.