Weddings!
Salaam
Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.
I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.
Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt
And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?
Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.
But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…
That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…
Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.
This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?
And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.
Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.
e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc
Please share your views on all of the above.
Wasalaam
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[quote="Med"]out of interest, has ne1 actually been to a wedding where the dessert is cake?
[/quote]
Yeh kind off!!
At my cousins Walima, all the family members were invited to their house after the ceramony to have the Cake which he and his bride cut together!!
ahhh Sweeet!! 😃
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]
I wish I could say the same thing about Mr-Never-Spoke-to-a-girl-before :evil:[/quote]
me?
:shock:
[quote="Med"]out of interest, has ne1 actually been to a wedding where the dessert is cake?
every wedding i've been to (and trust me its a lot) always get a paki sweet dish. If the hosts are modren type they might give icecream/kulfi but never had wedding cake. Does it actually happen, and wouldnt they have to buy a HUGE cake to feed all the guests?[/quote]
true, same here
Weddings!
When the hell did weddings get so expensive?!
I've never spent so much on a thing in my entire life - and I really haven't even begun spending... the projected costs alone almost gave me a heart attack.
This girl is going to put me into bankruptcy :shock:
It's absolutely unreal how much wedding planners and every other business involved gouges a couple, I understand they don't exactly have a constant flow of business but comeon, there is a point where you are so far ahead of the income recession line you are just being exploitive.
It's like a cartel
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Lol Dave.
Be a man. Put your foot down.
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[quote="MuslimSister"]Lol Dave.
Be a man. Put your foot down.[/quote]
I do and she finds new and inventive ways of getting around me, it's kind of a dance.
You women are tricky... I don't trust any of you :shock:
...that was actually meant to be a paranoid emoticon but they don't have them.
Actually most of the stuff she and her gang of homosexual wedding planners have planned is quite reasonable - but the sheer number of guests, the fact this is all apparently "last minute" for caterers and whatnot, thus requiring money to grease the wheels and my mothers' conniving attempts to impress all her important friends in tandem with Annettes request for top of the line everything means massive spending.
It's really more the business that bothers me some of this stuff really just confuses me - supposedly my wedding planners are charging me by the hour and it will go into the total cost in the end, however they don't work by the hour... does that makes sense to any of you?
And it's not just them - it's like it's a business standard, every wedding planner I talked to works that way, and these guys are top of the line anyway.
I just get the feeling that because there is essentially an industry set supply curve for weddings - like health care - they just can just manipulate the entire pricing for the industry to maximize profit for a collegial group that's hard to break into...
Anybody recently married get that impression when dealing with these people? Caterers, planners and the like?
*Though I should mention in fairness that it got a lot more expensive after I finally got my demand for a venue switch to our place in MV. Apparently that "grand distance" was a little less doable for these NYC types than I had initially understood. Thus this is in great part my fault.
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Seems like a headache Dave.
I'd prob get someone else to plan my wedding.
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lol that's actually the cause of my headache
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Yeh true but weddings come once in a life time, come on every girl would want a perfect wedding though, no matter how much it costs becuase it only comes once. So make the most it!! 😃
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lol yea that's kinda the problem... the girls spend their entire lives working this out, I and I think most guys are somewhat indifferent to the level of granduer.
We're a little more interested in the post nuptual/reception festivities :D.
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But it is worth it in the end, to have a perfect wedding!!
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[quote="Don Karnage"]lol yea that's kinda the problem... the girls spend their entire lives working this out, I and I think most guys are somewhat indifferent to the level of granduer.
We're a little more interested in the post nuptual/reception festivities :D.[/quote]
lol my sentiments exactly.
Never really thought about my ACTUAL wedding. Its not something i would normally think about... i heard somewhere that the average price tag on the average wedding was something like £20,000
Spending that much of my hard earned cash which ive prob been saving since Only God knows when on a single day party.... is enough to give me a stroke. (Dave ... hav you seen Father of the Bride? With Steve Martin?)
I wonder if the girl would feel the same about the Pre-nuptual agreement if we held a small party for that aswell?
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[quote="Seraphim"]
lol my sentiments exactly.
Never really thought about my ACTUAL wedding. Its not something i would normally think about... i heard somewhere that the average price tag on the average wedding was something like £20,000 [/quote]
lol i'm at a point now where I would consider that [i]reasonable[/i].
[quote="Seraphim"]Spending that much of my hard earned cash which ive prob been saving since Only God knows when on a single day party.... is enough to give me a stroke. (Dave ... hav you seen Father of the Bride? With Steve Martin?)[/quote]
Most definitely - I love that movie it's one of my all time favorites. The sequal was completely stupid and unnecessary though.
[quote="Seraphim"]I wonder if the girl would feel the same about the Pre-nuptual agreement if we held a small party for that aswell?[/quote]
hahah ohh man, my mom suggested asking for a prenup largely just to piss me off - which she succeeded. I wouldn't even begin to know how to go about asking a girl something like that.
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i wudnt want a big expensive wedding
its unneccesary
other then no expense spared on my outfit-I coudlnt care less about anything else
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]i wudnt want a big expensive wedding
its unneccesary
other then no expense spared on my outfit-I coudlnt care less about anything else[/quote]
i thawt most girls dream about that kinda stuff? :shock:
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[quote="Khusro"]
i thawt most girls dream about that kinda stuff? :shock:[/quote]
shows how little u know :roll:
most educated girls would much rather focus on making her marraige perfect then her wedding
but of course-every girl dreams out her outfit
she has to look drop dead gorgeous on that day
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]
shows how little u know :roll:
most educated girls would much rather focus on making her marraige perfect then her wedding
but of course-every girl dreams out her outfit
she has to look drop dead gorgeous on that day[/quote]
That is true! 🙂
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[quote="Mez"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]
shows how little u know :roll:
most educated girls would much rather focus on making her marraige perfect then her wedding
but of course-every girl dreams out her outfit
she has to look drop dead gorgeous on that day[/quote]
That is true! :)[/quote]
[size=7]typical[/size] :roll:
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="Khusro"]
i thawt most girls dream about that kinda stuff? :shock:[/quote]
shows how little u know :roll:
most educated girls would much rather focus on making her marraige perfect then her wedding
but of course-every girl dreams out her outfit
she has to look drop dead gorgeous on that day[/quote]
Really i couldnt possibly care whether i looked ugly on my wedding. I'd only care if i could marry the man i want.
Talking of outfits.....god they so damn expensive and what? all you do is wear it on one day. Seriously i'd rather wear my sisters lengha, but NO i dont have a choice again.
However if i had my word i'd just do a simple nikah...couldnt be bothered with all the hassle.
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[quote="naj"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="Khusro"]
i thawt most girls dream about that kinda stuff? :shock:[/quote]
shows how little u know :roll:
most educated girls would much rather focus on making her marraige perfect then her wedding
but of course-every girl dreams out her outfit
she has to look drop dead gorgeous on that day[/quote]
Really i couldnt possibly care whether i looked ugly on my wedding. I'd only care if i could marry the man i want.
Talking of outfits.....god they so damn expensive and what? all you do is wear it on one day. Seriously i'd rather wear my sisters lengha, but NO i dont have a choice again.
However if i had my word i'd just do a simple nikah...couldnt be bothered with all the hassle.[/quote]
I hear they're selling wedding gowns at Asda for $60.00... u shud try there if you dont wanna spend so much.
Weddings!
[quote="Seraphim"][quote="naj"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="Khusro"]
i thawt most girls dream about that kinda stuff? :shock:[/quote]
shows how little u know :roll:
most educated girls would much rather focus on making her marraige perfect then her wedding
but of course-every girl dreams out her outfit
she has to look drop dead gorgeous on that day[/quote]
Really i couldnt possibly care whether i looked ugly on my wedding. I'd only care if i could marry the man i want.
Talking of outfits.....god they so damn expensive and what? all you do is wear it on one day. Seriously i'd rather wear my sisters lengha, but NO i dont have a choice again.
However if i had my word i'd just do a simple nikah...couldnt be bothered with all the hassle.[/quote]
I hear they're selling wedding gowns at Asda for $60.00... u shud try there if you dont wanna spend so much.[/quote]
I never said i was lookingggggggggggg....
:idea: You can buy one from there for your wify on your day....
save u ALOT of money..
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muslim wedding planners anyone???
dnt know if half traditions derive from hindu ones or muslim ones.
speak for yourself, ive been planning my wedding for years! lol
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[quote="fizzy1"]
muslim wedding planners anyone???
[/quote]
study Asian Bride mag
it has EVERYTHING in there
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[quote="naj"]
because its not eazy , and i agreed but changed my mind.
.[/quote]
A friend of mine from Uni did that too.
She agreed to marry her cousin from back home…went to Pakistan brought her clothes, shoes and gold...I think even the hall was booked.
And when she returned home she told her mum she’s changed her mind.
Her mum did the usual drama….but with time they all got over it.
Obviously, my friend was in the wrong…cos wedding preparations were in full swing...she shouldnt have agreed in the first place.
But these things do die down with time.
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[quote="Fresh Prince"][quote="Seraphim"]
Naj... forgive me for being so abrupt... but your a very silly silly little girl.
[/quote]
woahh...go easy on her!
its never that easy u know, sumtymz u gota think about other things too..and not yourself
[/quote]
And there are times when you need to think about yourself coz other people certainly wont be as noble.
And shes not JUST thinking about herself shes has to also think about this guy, coz if thier marriage is a mistake thats HIS life also that she'd be ruining all bcoz she cant make up her mind. :roll:
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seraph leave naj alone. its easy for u to say all that seeing as how ur not in her position, and ur speaking from a guy's point of view anyway... :roll:
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i've got a wedding to go to soon. Never go to them unless it's close family and friends. I'm not looking forward to it, always see something that irritates me so bad, but i have to keep a lid on it, it's not my wedding. It should follow islamic guidlines but family will always interefere so who knows what'll happen.
I'm nervous i''m not even getting married. I'm gona be alone. Anyways i want my pakistani sweet rice, that's all i'm going for...kidding, but i;m gona make sure i have two bowls i love that stuff 😃 #
I;ve got lots of gold most of which i never wore but sold. I have quite a few pieces left still boxed untouched, you reckon i should give her one of them or buy something else? If something else what? Please don't say perfume etc, she's practising so something relevant to Islam would be excellent. A beautiful keepsake of some sort.
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Lol-Why are you nervous Sis?
Btw I see nothing wrong with you giving her one of your unworn boxed gold jewellary....gold or money is the main things people give at weddings.
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coz i get nervous around strangers lol. I won;t know anyone there cept the bride. I'll be ok i guess i'm a grown gal.
Yeah i'm thinking some nice earings, don't wana part with them but i doubt i'll wear them..or a ring.
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[quote="yashmaki"]she's practising so something relevant to Islam would be excellent. A beautiful keepsake of some sort.[/quote]
My mates mate got married some time back & my mate gave her a Quran sharif with colour coded Tajweed rules ...
she just wanted something to give which would come in use to her...not expensive but useful. I thought that was pretty unique and cool of her.
Some gave islamic antique frames...
[quote="Med"]out of interest, has ne1 actually been to a wedding where the dessert is cake?
every wedding i've been to (and trust me its a lot) always get a paki sweet dish. If the hosts are modren type they might give icecream/kulfi but never had wedding cake. Does it actually happen, and wouldnt they have to buy a HUGE cake to feed all the guests?[/quote]
It's always been the "official" dessert at weddings i've been to. There are usually an assortment of desserts available.
I'm not sure whats going on for our reception... Annette wants to do a seven course with hors doeuvres, desserts and wines seperately but that's going to be extremely difficult for the number of people in attendance... Haven't talked to the wedding planners in a while and im a little concerned decisions are being made without me getting a notice of it :shock:.