Weddings!
Salaam
Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.
I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.
Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt
And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?
Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.
But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…
That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…
Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.
This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?
And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.
Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.
e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc
Please share your views on all of the above.
Wasalaam
Weddings!
Weddings!
i dont want one either-last wedding I attended the girl had the do at her home that was way cool
I will never let bossy people decide what I should/shouldnt have at my wedding
BUT like I said-some are into eloborate OTT weddings with ALL the funcstion-some even get their registry done too and have a massive function
but each to their own
Weddings!
true that - in most cases elders get ta decide everything (well not absolutely everything but the main things that count lol)
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]i-some even get their registry done too and have a massive function
[/quote]
yeh i know a family who did that - i think they thought if they do that they'll stand out from the rest and in some way be seen as being better :roll: :roll:
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thats the problem nowadays - ppl do it more for competition and 'standing out' than anything else.
fair enuf, if someone is rich then y not spend on their Walimah? i dont see anything wrong with that as long as no food is wasted, and they are doing it for personal happiness and not for show. but ppl shud keep in mind the following hadith too:
It has been reported that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) stated: “Walima on the first day is confirmed (haq), and on the second day, it is good (ma’ruf), and on the third day, it is showing off.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 3738)
Weddings!
[quote="Aasiyah"][quote="naj"][quote="Aasiyah"][u]also, one point i forgot to make is that islamically, the Walimah reception must be done within 2 days after the Nikah[/u]. anything after that is just a 'reception' but not counted as a Walimah (tho ppl often do tht - have it like a week after and call it the Walimah).[/quote]
i did not know that...are you sure? is it mentioned anywhere.[/quote]
[quote][b]How many days?[/b]
The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) are of the opinion that, a banquet up to two days will be considered to be a Walima, after which it will no longer be considered a Walima.
It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:
“There is nothing wrong in inviting people the next day after consummation or the day after. After that, marriage and Walima celebrations will come to an end.” (5/343)[/quote]
from: 'The Fiqh of Walimas":
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2792&CATE=10[/quote]
thanks for that info... i dont think many people know of the hanafi opinion, people always tend to delay the walima and call it walima and i was under the opinion that walima being delayed would still be considered as walima.
Weddings!
Aasiyah is right they do have competion between people.
I agree that the walima should not be left for a week after the wedding!
It should be done the next day after the wedding!
Even though my cousin left his walima a week after the wedding, which totally dragged on! 😃
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Weddings are totally insane - i've never seen so much politiking, competition and all out ruthlessness in my entire life.
And i've been to Washington.
Expensive too - you can go into bankrupcy over these things!
Weddings!
I agree.
There is too much for show and esteem.
The people who are getting married are more of a sideshow.
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[quote="Admin"]I agree.
There is too much for show and esteem.
The people who are getting married are more of a sideshow.[/quote]
Definitely - the mothers hijack the wedding before the kids even get a chance to take over, and before you can say "cake" you have 400 guests coming you've never met before.
Weddings!
[quote="Don Karnage"]
Definitely - the mothers hijack the wedding before the kids even get a chance to take over, and before you can say "cake" you have 400 guests coming you've never met before.[/quote]
And they only come for the food and cake!! hmmmm Cake!! 😃
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[quote="Mez"][quote="Don Karnage"]
Definitely - the mothers hijack the wedding before the kids even get a chance to take over, and before you can say "cake" you have 400 guests coming you've never met before.[/quote]
And they only come for the food and cake!! hmmmm Cake!! :D[/quote]
You like cake!!!!!
Of course you like cake! Who doesn't!?
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[quote="Don Karnage"]
Of course you like cake! Who doesn't!?[/quote]
Oh yeh definatly!! Especially Chocolate cake 😃
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[quote="Mez"][quote="Don Karnage"]
Of course you like cake! Who doesn't!?[/quote]
Oh yeh definatly!! Especially Chocolate cake :D[/quote]
I concur.
Chocolate cake is quite splendid - especially with chocolate icing.
I'm pretty sure the cake is about the only thing i'll have a say over in the wedding plans - even there I have very little leeway
Weddings!
[quote="Don Karnage"]
I'm pretty sure the cake is about the only thing i'll have a say over in the wedding plans - even there I have very little leeway[/quote]
Get a chocolate cake!! 😃
Weddings!
[quote="Mez"][quote="Don Karnage"]
I'm pretty sure the cake is about the only thing i'll have a say over in the wedding plans - even there I have very little leeway[/quote]
Get a chocolate cake!! :D[/quote]
I wanted to but one of the wedding planners informed me that that's not "wedding cake"
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[quote="Don Karnage"]
I wanted to but one of the wedding planners informed me that that's not "wedding cake"[/quote]
awww what a shame!!
tut tut! 😃
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That's what happens when you take marital advice from a gay guy.
...what's with wedding planners btw?
They are either very cute girls, or extremely homosexual guys.
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[quote="Don Karnage"]That's what happens when you take marital advice from a gay guy.
...what's with wedding planners btw?
They are either very cute girls, or extremely homosexual guys.[/quote]
They are annoying!!
do not be decieved with the cuteness of the girls!!
You could always demand for your chocolate cake!! 😃
Weddings!
Naah. There is only so much chocolate you can eat.
Gop for a raspberry sponge cake. Not too sweet, so you can consume large ammounts.
Or if you go for chocolate, make sure you also have ginger biscuits present. They are the only thing capable of removing the taste of chocolate (I do not even like ginger biscuits, but know they job).
I hate the icing on cakes...
Another side note: as a kid if I ate chocolate, I used to puke! I cannot ermember myself, but I have been told so.
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lol i think it's a little late to be decieved by cute girls - I am, after all, getting married - so at least one cute girl has managed to decieve me.
I think i'm going to give them an ultimatum - chocolate cake or I will personally kill louis vuitton.
I figure they girls, and gay guys - louis vuitton must be a trump card
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lol.
You could go for white chocolate, even though its too sweet....
Weddings!
Admin
my mum does that, on cakes she totally takes the icing of and eats the sponge cake, she also does the same for pizza she totally takes the chesse of and eats the bread. I say to her whats the point of the pizza when you take the topping of.
Weddings!
[quote="Don Karnage"]lol i think it's a little late to be decieved by cute girls - I am, after all, getting married - so at least one cute girl has managed to decieve me.
I think i'm going to give them an ultimatum - chocolate cake or I will personally kill louis vuitton.
I figure they girls, and gay guys - louis vuitton must be a trump card[/quote]
You are the Man!! Stand your ground!! 😃
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Yea!!! I'm the Man!!!
[size=7]just as long as that's okay with her[/size]
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[quote="Don Karnage"]Yea!!! I'm the Man!!!
[size=7]just as long as that's okay with her[/size][/quote]
I am sure she would not mind!!
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When modern men prepare to wed, many wax, tan and help plan. Here come the "groomzillas"
Sunday, Sep. 25, 2005
By the time Pasquale Pignatelli visited luxury clothier Hickey Freeman for the final fitting of an $1,800 custom-made worsted-wool suit, he had devoted as much time perfecting his wedding outfit as his fiancé had spent selecting her bridal gown
The "bridezillas" who pay assiduous attention to nuptial details haven't disappeared. But increasingly they're joined at the altar by "groomzillas," who care just as much about the particulars of the big day.
The fact that couples are marrying later means that more brides are in established careers that leave less time for wedding planning. Not only are many women too busy to manage all the details themselves, but as cultural expectations about gender roles have shifted, ubiquitous TV images of chivalrous would-be grooms--on shows like The Bachelor, A Wedding Story and Perfect Proposal--have helped redefine the groom's tasks
As men get more involved with their weddings, businesses are wooing them and in the process reinventing some male rituals. Engagement consultants are helping design elaborate proposals. Travel agencies and resorts are offering multiday bachelor-party blowouts. [b]And spas are creating groom packages that include nail treatments, hairstyling and even tanning sessions.
Although bachelor parties are still popular and increasingly elaborate--Pignatelli and 14 of his friends spent $30,000 on a four-day celebration at Las Vegas' Mandalay Bay--more grooms are opting to spend prenuptial time at spas with their buddies. Exclusively Male in Cincinnati, Ohio, offers a groom-groomsmen special, including hairstyling, manicure and pedicure, for $90 a person. "If you're wearing a tux and have nice shoes on ... bad hands stand out," says owner Marie Stokes. "More men are looking at other men's hands." Particularly image-conscious grooms are even hiring makeup artists to spruce them up for the wedding-day photo shoot.[/b]
[url=http://www.jeremycaplan.com/groomzilla.htm]Times[/url]
how gay :roll: [/b]
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I'm terrified whats going to happen with my bachelor's party. My best man is a long time friend from High School... and he really hasn't changed since High School and still thinkgs im High School Dave.
I flat out told him i'm dropping him as best man if he hires strippers or if there is excessive drinking planned.
Just want a basketball game and some cake...
Do muslim men have bachelor parties or is that more of a western thing
Weddings!
[quote="Andoverpolo"]
Do muslim men have bachelor parties or is that more of a western thing[/quote]
yeh girls and boys have sumin like that its called a "mehndi"
its a cultural thing-some stricter Muslims dont do it
Weddings!
Dave...
Just don't let them get you totally drunk and tie up to a lamppost...
Congrats on you engagement!
😃
[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]i think its up to the couple
some opt for some big do's for the nikkah
some do it in the msoque with only few people
some do it in their home
once again-its a persons own choice[/quote]
in an ideal world maybe, but who really has a say in their own wedding nowadays? the elders organise everything.
i personally would not want a nikah 'ceremony' as it is not binding on my parents to do so.
if the guy insists on one, i will not marry him. simple as.