Adoption
Salaam ppl
Some of us have a child/children. Most us want to have children one day. Some of us will have already decided how many we want. Some of us will have already decided on names and careers for them. But has it ever occurred to us well what if it not in our kismat (destiny) to be blessed with children then what? Guys would you marry again in hope that your handaan (family) name will carry on? Or would you stay with your wife and accept your fate? (that you’re infertile and no matter how many times you marry there will be no kid)
Women would you allow your husband to remarry if you were the infertile one?
My grand father’s brother and his wife could not have kids. He never remarried nor adopted instead and had a lot of animals who he considered his kids. Another guy and his wife from my village back in Pakistan couldn’t have kids either. Again the guy never remarried and instead had a lot of cats. There is a guy that my dad knows and he has married 6 times in hope of a child but still no child.
None of them wanted adopt for one reason…. That the child will never be your own, when they go astray it hurts more.
There use to a girl (Muslim) that went to my primary school. Social services took her bro away when he were 2 or 3 after their mum took the kid to the doctors with a broken leg!
He was adopted by a childless couple here in the UK. He is now at university. He could have left his adopted parents when he turned 16 but he never did. He knows where his parents and brothers and sisters live but he doesn’t visit them. His brothers on the other hand spent 5 years in college before getting chucked. Their parents took them to Pakistan and got them married off. They have a couple of kids now but can’t get their wives or kids into the country because they don’t work. They mess around with other girls and sell drugs for a living.
They say a house is not blessed by Allah (swt) if there are no children.
It is said that if you adopt a child you will walk hand in hand with that child into Jannah.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) was an orphan.
So why is it that childless Muslim couples do not adopt?
Jazakallah x
Adoption
Adoption
just a technical point i studied in fiqh...islam only allows us to foster a child and not adopt it. the difference being that when you foster a child you can bring them up as your own and keep them for ever but you cannot give them your name (family name). with adoption the child gets your name too so if the childs surname is green and yours is smith then when you adopt the child they will become smith too. the reasons are many e.g. the child has the right to know their true parentage and even though they may live with you all their lives they cannot inherit your money/property.
Adoption
I dont think that all Muslims that dont adopt is due to 'culture' issues.
I know a couple who cant have kids and havent adopted and its def not cos of 'culture' issues - they're not very much into culture and care little of what others think.
Adoption
[quote="MuslimBro"][quote="Naz"]If on the other hand you cant have kids what is so wrong with adopting? These so called "Muslims" really need to stop practising culture and start paying more attention to religion. I feel sorry for such ppl.[/quote]
Adopting children is not obligatory so one can adopt if they choose to do so. Why force it upon them?[/quote]
who said anything about forcing these ppl? If they dont adopt (for whatever reason) thats their choice.
@ Dr Who i think your confusing adopting with fostering. Fostering is providing a temporary home for the child until a permanant home can be found for them whereas adoption is keeping the child forever...well not forevevr but at least till they are 16.
Adoption
[quote="Dr Who"]just a technical point i studied in fiqh...islam only allows us to foster a child and not adopt it. the difference being that when you foster a child you can bring them up as your own and keep them for ever but you cannot give them your name (family name). with adoption the child gets your name too so if the childs surname is green and yours is smith then when you adopt the child they will become smith too. the reasons are many e.g. the child has the right to know their true parentage and even though they may live with you all their lives they cannot inherit your money/property.[/quote]
thats true but in Britain if you want a child permanently and not only as a temporary measure such as fostering then in law you will need to legally adopt a child. in Islam the child will always belong to its birth parents and the adopter is always technically 'only looking after' the child. the child can never belong to the adopted parent.
the adoption process can take several years from the initial interview to the final court date.
the child is almost always damaged in some way and special training and care is needed to look after them.
the child must be told from the very begining about the adoption, birth parents etc in age appropriate language - nothing must be hidden from them - and they must be told the truth from the very start.
they have the choice at 18 to see the birth parents and indeed to do as they wish as all adults.
it can be very rewarding, very taxing, a lifetime of hard work.
it is a choice and a privilege and unless you have experienced it, you cant really imagine it.
[quote="Naz"]If on the other hand you cant have kids what is so wrong with adopting? These so called "Muslims" really need to stop practising culture and start paying more attention to religion. I feel sorry for such ppl.[/quote]
Adopting children is not obligatory so one can adopt if they choose to do so. Why force it upon them?