i agree most with angel - imo little girls should not have hijab forced upon them because this increases the likelihood of them taking it off when they're older (which is when it is more necessary). also what many men fail to realise is that it's not just a peice of cloth - thats simplistic and far too easy. the concept of 'hijab' involves a lot more than covering one's head, it's a change which is meant to mould one's personality and make one outwardly and inwardly more inclined to modesty - this amounts to jihad of the nafs for muslimahs, especially in the West. when you guys ask your daughters to put on thier scarves, and then find that it is not having an impact on their personality, you only have yourselves to blame. leave the choice to her. with encouragement from her mother and female relatives, and du'as, inshaAllah she will don the hijab - inner aswell as outer - with full confidence.

i started wearing the khimar (headscarf) when i was 6. it was completely my own choice, i did it because i wanted to emulate my mom i suppose. but she was surprised, did not see it coming and in fact she used to keep reminding me that i didn't have to wear it, lol. i was allowed to take it off whenever i wanted - in the heat, at parties, on holidays, etc. obviously at that age i was not wearing it for the right reasons, otherwise i would have had it on all the time, regardless of the temperature or place. but the important thing was that it was my own choice, and alhumdulillah by the time i turned 12 i knew the reasoning behind hijab and decided to keep my khimar on, and also started to wear jilbab.

even at that age though, i remember thinking 'there is no way i'm going to be a niqabi' and surprise surprise, niqab was part of the uniform at my evening madrasah. girls over the age of 10 had to wear it. i resented this because i was young and we hate our uniforms anyway, but the niqab wasn't my choice and i didn't like being told off for not wearing it. my mom was wearing niqab in those days and i found it completely normal for her to be wearing it, but when anyone suggested it for me, i'd be like 'no way!'. alhumdulillah i learnt a lot from that madrasah but i'm also glad i left it when i did, because i was able to think for myself a bit more, and the idea of niqab slowly became more acceptable to me as i felt the need for it in certain places. eventually i wore it on my own terms - where i wanted, when i wanted, and inshaAllah with the right intention.

imo tarbiyyah is more important than anything else. all parents need to do is give their children a loving islamic environment at home, a good islamic education, and lots of du'as, and inshaAllah the children will grow up as practising muslims - because they [i]want[/i] to, not because they're told to.

sorry for the length of this post, just wrote things down as i thought of them.

[color=magenta]wow mashaAllah great reply sis made alot of sense also i fink if a kid is told constantly "you must do this" "you must do that" they will want to rebel cuz they dont like being told wht to do, when i first wore the hijab i was abt 7/8 n the reason why is because i saw mum n older sis wearing it so i just wanted to copy them but when i was in secondary school i started going to study circles n learnt that it was compulsory for us to wear when we reach puberty so then strengthend my conviction in wearing the hijab n in year 8 i wore the jilbab n inshaAllah soon i hope to wear the niqab [/color]

mashaALLAH gud post Dust.

It is correct that every action should be explained with kindness and love so the child understand why it is that a certain act must be done or must be refrained from but at the same time this point of choice grinds against me. As parents it is their duty to ensure they bring up the children correctly and part of this means that they observe what is an obligation on them.

If after explaining the necessity of shari' hijab a daughter decides not to wear it - how should the parent respond? Should they let her carry on and hope she'll come to her senses or should they enforce the shari'ah while she is under their jurisdiction?

What if the child wsa neglecting salah? Should the parents sit idly by and hope for the best and be content that "well I've done my duty of explaining it, Im free from responsibility now"? I dont think thats correct.

Lest we forget children are to be lightly beaten at age 10 if they neglect their salah - from this it can be understood that physically making someone do something that is an obligation upon them is not a sin but a duty on the people of authority.

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]wow mashaAllah great reply sis made alot of sense also i fink if a kid is told constantly "you must do this" "you must do that" they will want to rebel cuz they dont like being told wht to do, [/color]

I agree with you. Some kids after they've been forced, do rebel behind their parents back.

Also, If I ever have to use force with my kids then this'll show me that I've failed as a parent.

I have no intention of making my kids doing any good deeds out of fear of parental disapproval…this negates the sincerity of intentions.

The child who is forced to cover or do good deeds by their parents will only do it for their parents and not for Allah (swt) which is wrong.

People should submit to the wisdom of the Nabi salallahu alayhi wa sallam rather than their newfangled and deviated ideas. Just a suggestion.

"Med" wrote:

mashaALLAH gud post Dust.

It is correct that every action should be explained with kindness and love so the child understand why it is that a certain act must be done or must be refrained from but at the same time this point of choice grinds against me. As parents it is their duty to ensure they bring up the children correctly and part of this means that they observe what is an obligation on them.

If after explaining the necessity of shari' hijab a daughter decides not to wear it - how should the parent respond? Should they let her carry on and hope she'll come to her senses or should they enforce the shari'ah while she is under their jurisdiction?

What if the child wsa neglecting salah? Should the parents sit idly by and hope for the best and be content that "well I've done my duty of explaining it, Im free from responsibility now"? I dont think thats correct.

Lest we forget children are to be lightly beaten at age 10 if they neglect their salah - from this it can be understood that physically making someone do something that is an obligation upon them is not a sin but a duty on the people of authority.

salaah is a different example as we have been specifically told by the Prophet (s.a.w) to train our children with regards to salaah, and it makes a lot of sense - if one is not into the habit they will neglect or forget about it very easily and children develop habits whilst they are still young so it makes sense to train them from childhood.

hijab is different in that we have not been expressly told to scold our children for not wearing the headscarf (before they reach puberty). yes we can encourage them and be an example to them, and above all make du'a for them, but we cannot force them as it can turn them away.

as for those who have attained puberty and choose not to wear the khimar, i don't see why this would happen in a family where the children have been raised with correct tarbiyyah and islamic environment. such values are instilled in children from when they are young, children learn by imitation and as long as they are provided with a good example to learn from, they will inshaAllah grow up with strong islamic values.

Salah is Fard, Hijab is Fard.

The deen is based on principles and the ulama should be consulted for this.

The arguements for the implementation of hijab are deep and comprehensive - the ulama should be consulted.

There is no hadeeth forbidding the drinking of urine to the best of my knowledge does it mean it is halal?

No hadeeth mentioning dont smoke ganja - so a parent can let the kid smoke it?

Amr bil Ma'ruf wan Nahy anil Munkar are alhamdulillah among the most basic of principles in our deen.

If a child is not observing the hijab then by force they are to be made observant - and if not by force then by their tongues and if not that then atleast in the heart - but for sure the parents will be held accountable for why they neglected their wards and allowed them to disobey the Pure Shariah.

"(*_Shazan" wrote:

The light had change to green but I was temporary blinded by the noor shining from them.

:shock:

ever heard of foundation?

and men wearing makeup is becoming a popular trend too

"MuslimSister" wrote:

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]wow mashaAllah great reply sis made alot of sense also i fink if a kid is told constantly "you must do this" "you must do that" they will want to rebel cuz they dont like being told wht to do, [/color]

I agree with you. Some kids after they've been forced, do rebel behind their parents back.

Also, If I ever have to use force with my kids then this'll show me that I've failed as a parent.

I have no intention of making my kids doing any good deeds out of fear of parental disapproval…this negates the sincerity of intentions.

The child who is forced to cover or do good deeds by their parents will only do it for their parents and not for Allah (swt) which is wrong.

not necessarily...

i'll explain later... going out now.

"Med" wrote:

Salah is Fard, Hijab is Fard.

The deen is based on principles and the ulama should be consulted for this.

The arguements for the implementation of hijab are deep and comprehensive - the ulama should be consulted.

There is no hadeeth forbidding the drinking of urine to the best of my knowledge does it mean it is halal?

No hadeeth mentioning dont smoke ganja - so a parent can let the kid smoke it?

Amr bil Ma'ruf wan Nahy anil Munkar are alhamdulillah among the most basic of principles in our deen.

If a child is not observing the hijab then by force they are to be made observant - and if not by force then by their tongues and if not that then atleast in the heart - but for sure the parents will be held accountable for why they neglected their wards and allowed them to disobey the Pure Shariah.

differences exist even between the implementation of faraaid. it's not as straightforward as it appears. inshaAllah i will consult a scholar. but when you start studying usool-ul-fiqh, or if you already have, then you will/should know what i mean inshaAllah.

re: forcing the hijab on one's daughter, as i said previously it is my firm belief that as long as the parents provide a stable home and islamic environment in which to nurture their children, and are good examples, the children will have no problem practising islam after puberty inshaAllah.

"*DUST*" wrote:

re: forcing the hijab on one's daughter, as i said previously it is my firm belief that as long as the parents provide a stable home and islamic environment in which to nurture their children, and are good examples, the children will have no problem practising islam after puberty inshaAllah.

[color=Deeppink]yep i agree wiv you because at the end of the day, we dont wnt to force someone to wear it cuz sometimes it works in the reverse where we want ppl to embrace n love the hijab but by forcing them they actually dislike it, so providing that the parents are positive role modelsand provide the necessary love n support and are brought up in a good islamic environment than the daughter will adopt the hijab willingly[/color]