A thread on life

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I have depression. It sounds like you have what i have. Sorry if it annoys you that im talking about myself "/. Anyhoo; did anything really bad happen recently? Like, someone dying, or your parents getting divorced or something? Because thats how depression tips itself off. You say you wanna go back to the way you were, the first thing you gotta do to achieve that is read Durood Shareef and Dikhr. Durood shareef gives you strength, and dikhr should fill your heart with contentment. I stay in bed all day& the only time i get up is to get water and then i go back into my bed.

Staying in your bedroom all day makes you feel confined, isolated. You're hiding yourself from people. Often when you're depressed, you feel like a failure, like everythings the same and you're sick, sick, SICK of it. I dont know if thats what you have, but you're saying you hd goals&dreams.. then why dont you go ahead and pursue them? The world is your oyster brav.

Just one thing? The only thing that will help you the most is ibadah. And Prophet Muhammed (SAW) once said, 'Dua, is the essence of ibadah'.

So yeah. You're imaan is low :L. You're not lazy. You're not being idle, or throwing your life away, its just what happens when you get depression. You're saying its not clinical and that you dont need tablets for it.. didnt you say you wanted to be the person you were FIVE years ago? That sounds pretty severe. 

Look up to Allah. Just ask him, and i swear, you'll get an answer sooner or later :L.

May Allah give you strength. Ameen.

Northen Southener wrote:
Accountontherevival wrote:

- No they have more challenges

- No they have had more things thrown at them

I am a lightweight.

Sounds like you are well placed with friends like that. If I had friends like I'd spend more time listening to them and less time getting them to listen to me. Seems like they've stumbled upon a formula that works, I'd want to know what it is. I hope you blog about some of the conversations you've HAD with them and blog more once they've talked about their "formula" either way - I feel you have potential to acheive great and wonderful things. You have something what many don't. The willingness to confront the situation head on. Smile

 

That's quite the think Northern Southener. 

I spend so long listening to their problems but we rarely focus on the positivity for a great deal of time. 

That's why I want to focus on me for once. 

Thanks for your hope but I can't take it seriously till something has been achieved. I have most of today focussing haha.

But have taking small steps worked for you well?

Sapphire Saddique wrote:

I have depression. It sounds like you have what i have. Sorry if it annoys you that im talking about myself "/. Anyhoo; did anything really bad happen recently? Like, someone dying, or your parents getting divorced or something? Because thats how depression tips itself off. You say you wanna go back to the way you were, the first thing you gotta do to achieve that is read Durood Shareef and Dikhr. Durood shareef gives you strength, and dikhr should fill your heart with contentment. I stay in bed all day& the only time i get up is to get water and then i go back into my bed.

Staying in your bedroom all day makes you feel confined, isolated. You're hiding yourself from people. Often when you're depressed, you feel like a failure, like everythings the same and you're sick, sick, SICK of it. I dont know if thats what you have, but you're saying you hd goals&dreams.. then why dont you go ahead and pursue them? The world is your oyster brav.

Just one thing? The only thing that will help you the most is ibadah. And Prophet Muhammed (SAW) once said, 'Dua, is the essence of ibadah'.

So yeah. You're imaan is low :L. You're not lazy. You're not being idle, or throwing your life away, its just what happens when you get depression. You're saying its not clinical and that you dont need tablets for it.. didnt you say you wanted to be the person you were FIVE years ago? That sounds pretty severe. 

Look up to Allah. Just ask him, and i swear, you'll get an answer sooner or later :L.

May Allah give you strength. Ameen.

I don't have depression. I did mention that in the first post I made here.

It doesn't annoy me that you are talking about yourself!! I said and I repeat, that it will only annoy me if I read something that has no source of motivation or anything to help me and others. 

Nothing bad has happened recently. People have died, but people die everyday. No one close to me has died. 

My parents are still together thankfully. 

Do durood shareef and dhikr help you? 

I am not sick of anything and I do not confine myself to my room. 

 but you're saying you hd goals&dreams.. then why dont you go ahead and pursue them? The world is your oyster brav.

 

I'm sorry but phrases like that annoy me. A lot. How many times do you hear someone saying stuff like that? It is not a form of advice. Its just a boring stupid quote that everyone says. You only realise something like that when you get over whatever it is that is holding you back. 

I have not been like this for five years. Don't make assumptions. Ask me rather instead why not two years ago or three years ago. 

What does :L mean?

 

Accountontherevival wrote:

But have taking small steps worked for you well?

I'd say so.

I don't know if it's just in the head or if there's a real science to it, but TBH I'm not too bothered.

It worked for me so it don't really matter if there's an exact science to it or now...

 

Foysol89 wrote:

Happy for you, alhamdulillah. 

I need one of those slaps myself, procrastination seems to be my closest companion and my worst enemy at the same time. 

I've been slapped Biggrin woken up from a slumber alhamdulillah. I hope it lasts longer this time. I think i was just a bit burnt out, trying to do too much and expected everything to run smoothly. 

Anyway life's all about our experiences, learn from them. Whenever you feel down just have patience and trust in Allah. Once you have a clear mind again re-evaluate your thinking, make a firm intention to carry on or start fresh. 

This life is like one long journey, every now and then you're going to have to stop for rest and a re-supply. 

Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Foysol89 wrote:

Foysol89 wrote:

Happy for you, alhamdulillah. 

I need one of those slaps myself, procrastination seems to be my closest companion and my worst enemy at the same time. 

I've been slapped Biggrin woken up from a slumber alhamdulillah. I hope it lasts longer this time. I think i was just a bit burnt out, trying to do too much and expected everything to run smoothly. 

Anyway life's all about our experiences, learn from them. Whenever you feel down just have patience and trust in Allah. Once you have a clear mind again re-evaluate your thinking, make a firm intention to carry on or start fresh. 

This life is like one long journey, every now and then you're going to have to stop for rest and a re-supply. 


 

Glad youv been slapped.

Maybe you can update us on how you maintain it.

Coming to the end of Sunday 5th August soon. 

I have somewhat become a lot more clearer about my goals since posting this new on this thread. I feel slightly happier and know what I have to do. I guess I need more structure to my life and I need a bit more certainity to everyday life. My mate is planning to move away from Sheffield. I will struggle without this person. 

In regards to Ramadan, my contribution towards the whole month has been very little so far. I have absolutely done the minimum. But so far, I am not going to criticise this,as my attitude is a lot better about it than it was last year and I am content so far with it. I am not going aim high as I did that last year but did not achieve as much as I wanted and that lead to incomplete days and burn out very quickly. Long hours of fasting has been hard to cope with so far. I don't know how you guys have been finding it. 

My productivity has been low compared to yesterday. But in my defence I did decided to conquer something that was very vague and I did start to feel lack of concetration a lot earlier on than yesterday. Tomorrow will be a better day hopefully. 

 

A big contribution to islamic "stuff" is contemplation.

Thinking, planning, prioritising.

I am not an enthisiastic person, so rarely plan to do much and even then sometimes it gets too much.

But a big part of it is having a clear and hopeful mind.

IMO having hope (a plan is hope too) changes things more than most people thing.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:

A big contribution to islamic "stuff" is contemplation.

Thinking, planning, prioritising.

I am not an enthisiastic person, so rarely plan to do much and even then sometimes it gets too much.

But a big part of it is having a clear and hopeful mind.

IMO having hope (a plan is hope too) changes things more than most people thing.

I agree with you there.

But just for my own curiositys sake, what do you mean by your first sentence?

A plan is what I have. And its been three days and I haven't gievn up yet. 

 

I spoke too soon.

Woke up an hour ago.

That might be due to the fact that I slept only at half 5, but still. Not proud of myself.

I feel like Iv been living in a desert. Has anyone else developed a cold or some sort over the last few days or is it just my house hold?

My plans for things are going along very slowly. The last two days have been very unproductive. I have manged very little. I can only blame myself. However I have had trouble focussing on the topics and getting on with things. So if any one has ideas on how to focus whilst fasting and in hot weather, please do let me know.

How is everyone getting on with their plans? Foysol_89 have you managed to have any success since you've been slapped?

try and change your perspective before you sink back into "depression-like state" you've spend your day havent you? try and sit and think HOW you spent it. how many hours on pc?

we often, VERY VERY often dnt count family time as something productive, but it is! and a lot of our time is spent with family but we count it as a waste of time or we're like "what did i do all day?" and we think we did nothing when actually we spent time with family. we shouldnt forget that.

now. to stop feeling like you've wasted time when actually you've spent it with family, you should renew your intention. so that that time spent with family is worship.

thats just one thing i chose to mention, coz i often end up in a situation where im like "what the heck did i do all evening?" it helps me to actually write down the times and what i was doing. we dont consciously look at tme whenever we start soemthing so, for me, to help me know how long ive been wasting my time on internet and i didnt notice what time istarted using pc, i would look at messages i posted on revvy. time and date are available for that. some people can see what time they went on a site. i havent figured out how to do that lol..but that helps.

and tomorrow is another day as long as you make resolutions.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:

try and change your perspective before you sink back into "depression-like state" you've spend your day havent you? try and sit and think HOW you spent it. how many hours on pc?

As difficult as I find to admit this, it is difficult not to sink back into the depression like state when Iv overslept or not done enough. But I guess I made this thread to be honest and to help myself. I will not go to sleep tonight till I have done everything I need to do.

Truth be told, I spend time on the PC only when Im researching stuff I dont understand, reading the news, watching random videos on youtube in break times and here. 

Lilly wrote:

we often, VERY VERY often dnt count family time as something productive, but it is! and a lot of our time is spent with family but we count it as a waste of time or we're like "what did i do all day?" and we think we did nothing when actually we spent time with family. we shouldnt forget that.

I do spend time with family.

 

Lilly wrote:

and tomorrow is another day as long as you make resolutions.

Thanks.

I guess you're telling me to think about my day at the end. It's very boring and tedious but since I haven't given it an active try out, how do I know it won't help?

...sort of losing focus now and then but i'm noticing little differences in my day to day attitude, thinking positive again. Still no big change but i guess it'll take time and patience. 

Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

I'm just going to write again because my head feels like its going to blow. 

It's really difficult when you have two future ideals.

One of my future ideals is to spend it with someone I love. Yeah. Don't die of the idea of someone expressing deepness here. It's true. I read that blog/article/thread on forced marriage and arranged marriages and I probably at one point came across as though listening to advice was the easiest thing in the world. But I have been refusing to listen to advice for a while now. It's really difficult. I can see a future with this person. I can see a lifetime with this person. I don't care about anyone else. I know that she knows this too. She knows that if she ever needs anything, all she needs do is ask. And she has and I have helped out. 

My other future is what others see me in. A sold career. A clever career. A career I have to work everday for. As does everyone else for their future jobs. This will happen. Too many people have got their eyes glittering on me for this. 

The honest truth is that I would leave stability for the first ideal. It's difficult being tough and being the one keeping people happy when really I couldn't give a s*** most of the time. I have tried just secluding myself to get my head together but people have found me. 

I want my career to make close people to me happy. I want to be happy too. 

Anyway, whilst I am working, Im always thinking about my other future ideal. It's difficult to focus. 

Don't read this post and think: 'ohhh i see what all this is about. ' because there is more to my story. This is one of them. 

You can either read this and think sod it, or you can read this and think: 'i understand' and just tell me how to cope. Cos Im struggling with the coping side. It's taken me a while to just breathe this information out of my head.

And also, please do not send me messages about to really think about whether it is love or lust, or about please God, and parents, and culture, religous laws, because trust me I know. I do not know what I don't know anymore. 

wellll....

this is how i see it.  Please the Lord and you will be happy. (ok..this sounded christianified...) Please Allah and you will be happy.

so that second "ideal" (hardly one as you dont really want it), so that ideal, just forget it man. who needs a career? you just need money to be able to support your family. That's all that Allah asks from you.

a career that is going to get you loads of money but no time to spend it?

a career that's going to take you away from your family (aka your first ideal)?

a career thats going to do your head in, stress you and make you forget the important things in life?

and most important, a career that you dont want/like?

 

please the parents isnt abt becoming what they couldnt be or fulfilling their dreams. Pleasing parents is about looking after them when they get old, respecting them always, being humble, polite etc... "lowering the wing of Humility". That's what Allah asks from us.

 

you said you'd gve up stability. dont. you need stability to be happy. dont tell me you're thinking "as long as im with my first ideal, it doesnt matter if i live off benefit or if i live in a trashcan" you sound smarter than that.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Ideal 1 is hard because she ain't muslim

I like to please my parents. They have never done wrong to me. Why would I want to displease them? I don't even have a reason to. Plus I actually like my parents. 

Ideal 2 is something Iv wanted to fulfill for a long time. It's just diffficult. I wouldn't admit that it was difficult if it wasn't. It takes a lot for me to admit such things. 

Of course Im smarter than that. But I know you know what I mean. 

I make some concrete commitments. I'm afraid to screw up. I've screwed up more than enough and like to think I've entered a new phase in life. That doesn't mean everything goes well or that I never procrastinate - I do, for weeks at a time, but somehow the important things get done and I stay in contact with people, which is an impressive trait in the face of come-what-may. Tell everyone what you're up to, and be aware that every commitment is an opportunity to be a lame screw-up or someone accumulating small successes - my advice. Smile

  • It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. -- Wallace Stevens

Joie de Vivre wrote:

Tell everyone what you're up to, and be aware that every commitment is an opportunity to be a lame screw-up or someone accumulating small successes - my advice. 

I like that. Thanks. 

 

Dear Account on the revival and everyone else what is this, this thread I mean what are you all talking about.  It's nearly the end of Ramadan that's an achievement on its own.  Is this the type of thing you are on about? No then what? I just don't get it not any of it.  I've read this thread from the very beginning and I haven't got a clue what it's all about.

First I thought it was about someone who's a bit down then I thought it was about heavy workloads and accomplishing the task, then I thought  it was about love then about ambition then about pleasing others, I'm afraid I'm all mixed up.  You may think who cares if she thinks this but let me say that if I dont get it then that's not good, cos then I can't help you or even attempt it with sincerity

plus you sound like my brother, he's doing very well now and seems happy, but I always think his ambition was misplaced and the righteous path was forsaken for the materialistic one, and I feel if we knew ourselves better and took the time to really search our souls we would make different choices. 

 

 

laila wrote:

 

 

First I thought it was about someone who's a bit down then I thought it was about heavy workloads and accomplishing the task, then I thought  it was about love then about ambition then about pleasing others,

 

 

 

thats it exactly sis, This thread is about Life.

and while reading through this, whatever came to your mind that you feel like sharing, share it.

true, a thread abt life would be quite the impossible task, hence why this particular thread is focused slightly on accountontherevival (nickname: revvyboy, Al, Acc?)

as long as its no moaning/complaining, anything posted here is welcome. that's what ive gathered so far.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Thanks Lilly, I was thinking it was for solving Acc's problem, and since his problem wasn't clear to me how could he be helped and so on, but now you've cleared that up, I'll simmer down.

Lilly wrote:

 

thats it exactly sis, This thread is about Life.

and while reading through this, whatever came to your mind that you feel like sharing, share it.

true, a thread abt life would be quite the impossible task, hence why this particular thread is focused slightly on accountontherevival (nickname: revvyboy, Al, Acc?)

as long as its no moaning/complaining, anything posted here is welcome. that's what ive gathered so far.

I actually signed into say thanks.

Better summary than anything I could come up with!

Accountontherevival wrote:

Joie de Vivre wrote:

Tell everyone what you're up to, and be aware that every commitment is an opportunity to be a lame screw-up or someone accumulating small successes - my advice. 

I like that. Thanks. 

Cheers, you're welcome.

  • It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. -- Wallace Stevens

It seems like the end of Ramadan is coming up. Can't believe how quickly its gone by. Nothing has actually come by it but its been a lot better than last year. I suppose some of you on here have gained a lot more than myself out of this past month; have been reading those blogs about what you've learnt everyday. And some of you here are committed! Give me some spirit ha! Anyway, I hope results day today was successful for those on here who are still doing or have even finished their Alevels. 

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