have u considered the following:

1. muslim men - esp paki's are most likely to unemployed, with the fewest qualifications in UK

so how exactly are these bums going to financial provide EQUALLY for more than one woman, which Islamically they are ORDERED to do.

why do u think most of them go back home to get married? :roll:

the same applies to those with a decent income, i know of people where the husband AND wife is on a decent income but cant afford to buy a simple house in london

how can men afford this?

2. polygamy is against the law of the land we live. those who enter an islamic polygmous relationship will be breaking the law of the land with a possibility of imprisment.

3. how many muslim men are selfless enough to bring up another women's children as their own?

4. and how many western muslim women do you really think will serioulsy consider ploygamy? I cant think of a single one - and i know unmarried women in their 40's. And how many fathers would wish that for their daughters?

5. have u even considered the opinion of the first wives who's husbands wish to take on more women?

6. ur events claim that ur only looking for sincere people, how will u determine the sincerity of ur attendees?

i know loads of muslim men who have married a second time without the consent of their first wife. But the first wife has never put up a fight for the simple reason that she has kids and the husband will just threaten her with divorce (like they do).
To me its seems its becoming a fashion trend, one person does it an the rest follow like headless chickens.

Men!

Allah allows men to marry 4 wives.
When Allah gives permission for something than it is up to us to get married more than once. Most men do not choose to take on another wife because they can't afford it.
If my wife does not like me marry a seond woman than out of respect for her I wouldnt do it. I would never want to hurt the wife I loved.
But I didnt love her, I'd divorce her and then remarry, no problem.
Allah allows 4 divorces as well. So you dont have to be stuck with a problem female.

Just becoz Allah (swt) allows it doesn't mean you SHOULD go ahead and put it under a MUST DO BEFORE I DIE. Doing justice between women these days is like sharing meat equally between wolves. Its just not gonna happen.
And since EVERYONE marries for love then there shouldnt be a problem having to marry a 2nd one.

On the other hand technically there are more women in the world than men... so the numbers certainly play out.

"malik" wrote:

But I didnt love her, I'd divorce her and then remarry, no problem.
Allah allows 4 divorces as well. So you dont have to be stuck with a problem female.

lols.... if you don't mind me asking what planet are you from?

If someone marries more than one woman, it is between them. People can find themselves in situations where they need to. As for British Law, it should be abided by, where you do not take parts for granted and ignore other parts. If you don't like it, i'm building a banana boat- tickets £40 to Karachi and £45 to Mumbai!

"malik" wrote:

But I didnt love her, I'd divorce her and then remarry, no problem.
Allah allows 4 divorces as well. So you dont have to be stuck with a problem female.

firstly if you didnt love her then why would you marry her in the first place? and secondly Allah (SWT) looks down upon divorce, it should only be exercised as a last resort where other means have failed.

I thought with arranged marriages you married first and then fell in love.

Yes, divorce should be a last resort but sometimes it's the best thing ever for a couple and is absolutely necessary, hence it is permissible.

"Islamic Circles" wrote:

1) DIVORCED & WIDOWED MUSLIM MARRIAGE EVENT & "THE CASE FOR POLYGAMY ?"

A matrimonial event for those who may be divorced, separated or widowed,
or are open to marrying someone of these statuses.

With an increasing number of Muslim women in their later 20s and 30s having
difficulty in finding a marriage partner, together with a significant number of
Muslim men going abroad to find a bride, there are basically a lot of unmarried
sisters in the UK today. Clearly the Muslim community is faced with a huge dilemma,
which needs to be taken seriously and dealt with sooner rather than later. One
possible means of addressing this issue is Polygamy. Whilst it may be considered a
taboo amongst some people and has unfortunately received bad press in recent years,
it has nonetheless been practiced in many parts of the world since time immemorial
and, more significantly, it is a practice of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

What is polygamy and can it really address the issue of spinsters and divorced
women, particularly those with children, who are finding it extremely difficult to
get married and settle down in a stable relationship? Are there enough suitable men
who would be able to fulfil their responsibilities in a polygamous marriage? Is
there a problem with the mentality of men which needs to addressed? What about the
legal implications associated with polygamy? Would nikah alone suffice without the
need for registration? Why has polygamy gained such a bad reputation over the last
few decades?

I think it's prejudiced to hold a separate event for those widowed, separated or divorced. Why is that necessary? Is that not labeling them and thus creating even more problems? If someone has been widowed, then why does that mean they can and should be categorised by society... and this event? That just helps reinforce societies negative attitide towards them.

So polygamy is one of the solutions for widowed or divorced women? That sounds like a joke. Why can they not be a first and/or only wife to somebody???

And when a couple divorce there are [u]2 [/u] divorcees... yes it is easier for the man to remarry but that is because of the attitudes in our culture or society. Why can we not try to correct these instead of taking the easy option.

That advert portrays these women as a problem... the problem's a lot bigger than that and we're a part of it too. If the whole divorce thing is taboo, then we need to work on solving that. This event does nothing of the sort. By suggesting these women become co-wifes is avoiding the real issue... with another taboo issue... so as to label these unfortunate women even further. This event or organisation seems to have a rather arrogant attitude that it'll be doing these women a favour, going out of it's way sort of thing... I think that attitude stinks.

Polygamy was a practice of our Prophet pbuh but so were a lot of other things. But we tend to forget all them don't we?

And I'm not going to even start on men who want more than one wife. :roll:

"Imaani" wrote:

I thought with arranged marriages you married first and then fell in love.

Not necessarily. I went to a wedding last sunday and it was an arranged marriage. The guy and girl had met on several ocassions and had chatted to each other before they decided to get married. On the actual day of the wedding they were both on the stage chattin away and laughin most couples dont even look at each other let alone talk lol.

"imaani" wrote:

Yes, divorce should be a last resort but sometimes it's the best thing ever for a couple and is absolutely necessary, hence it is permissible.

yeh theres nothing wrong with divorce. It is a bit pointless being in a marriage when you know its just never gonna work out.

What did Yoda say to Luke Skywalker after he had married Princess Leia but then found out she was his sister?

Use divorce!

"Naz" wrote:

"Imaani" wrote:

I thought with arranged marriages you married first and then fell in love.

Not necessarily. I went to a wedding last sunday and it was an arranged marriage. The guy and girl had met on several ocassions and had chatted to each other before they decided to get married. On the actual day of the wedding they were both on the stage chattin away and laughin most couples dont even look at each other let alone talk lol.

I know it's kinda funny when you think about it, lol!

But them chatting and laughing with each other doesn't mean they are 'in love' lol. It's great they like each other, even care for each other, but I'd like to think 'love' is a bit deeper than just getting on well with someone.

"Imaani" wrote:

but I'd like to think 'love' is a bit deeper than just getting on well with someone.

Well how would you define love then? (please tell me its not what you see in the bollywood movies lol)
Id like to think that he married her because he loved her otherwise why else would you marry.
Theres different kinds of love anyway. Theres love you have for Allah (swt), love for your parents, love for you brothers and sisters, love for your friends etc.

To me love is if you get on really well and you think about them 24/7 then you defo been struck by cupids bow lol

"Naz" wrote:

"Imaani" wrote:

but I'd like to think 'love' is a bit deeper than just getting on well with someone.

Well how would you define love then? (please tell me its not what you see in the bollywood movies lol)

Lol!! Oh please, I've only ever seen 4 Bollywood films in my whole life and I think they were more than enough.

"Naz" wrote:

Id like to think that he married her because he loved her otherwise why else would you marry.
Theres different kinds of love anyway. Theres love you have for Allah (swt), love for your parents, love for you brothers and sisters, love for your friends etc.

To me love is if you get on really well and you think about them 24/7 then you defo been struck by cupids bow lol

I'm not sure about people marrying coz they love each other, especially in an arranged marriage. A love between husband and wife is kinda deep... I'm sure their love would grow as time passed. I would of thought he maried her coz he really, really [i]liked[/i] her. How can they even know what love is before they're even together.

"Imaani" wrote:

Lol!! Oh please, I've only ever seen 4 Bollywood films in my whole life and I think they were more than enough.

I'm not sure about people marrying coz they love each other, especially in an arranged marriage. A love between husband and wife is kinda deep... I'm sure their love would grow as time passed. I would of thought he maried her coz he really, really [i]liked[/i] her. How can they even know what love is before they're even together.

lol thats good to hear. Well surely if you really like somebody then its the same thing as love. Who says love cant exist in an arranged marriage i think it can. You dont have to spend years and years with a person for love to develop, i think it depends on the person.
Different ppl define the term love in different ways, it means different things to different ppl. There is no single universial definition of the term love.

I think 'like' is definitely NOT the same as 'love'!!

Of course love definitely can and does exist in arranged marriages. If anything I think it's probably deeper than in a love marriage.

I wasn't talking years!!! A few weeks is probably plenty, lol! Just something more than having met up a few times to get to know each other.

"Imaani" wrote:

I think 'like' is definitely NOT the same as 'love'!!

Of course love definitely can and does exist in arranged marriages. If anything I think it's probably deeper than in a love marriage.

I wasn't talking years!!! A few weeks is probably plenty, lol! Just something more than having met up a few times to get to know each other.

Theres alot of love marriages that end in divorce nowadays so if anything i think more arranged marriages are successful. Oh well when you get married (thats if your not already) let me know if you feel more lovey dovey after the marriage or before it (im assuming its gonna be the latter lol).

:? Well I hope inshallah it will be the former!

"Naz" wrote:

"Imaani" wrote:

I think 'like' is definitely NOT the same as 'love'!!

Of course love definitely can and does exist in arranged marriages. If anything I think it's probably deeper than in a love marriage.

I wasn't talking years!!! A few weeks is probably plenty, lol! Just something more than having met up a few times to get to know each other.

Theres alot of love marriages that end in divorce nowadays so if anything i think more arranged marriages are successful. Oh well when you get married (thats if your not already) let me know if you feel more lovey dovey after the marriage or before it (im assuming its gonna be the latter lol).
.

Way too many love AND arranged marriages are failing these days...I think I know an equal number of failed arranged and love marriages. This is a whole different subject altogether. However, in love marraiges there's often that bonus of understanding and being aware of the other persons warts and flaws.

Although it does make me wonder...if people cant hack Monogamous relationship…how can they even think about making polygamous relationships more common.

And regarding love..I suppose every type of relationships goes through periods when the couple are more in love with each other...or less. It depends on whats going on.

erm i don't think id want my husband having another wife, he knows that. But polygamy is something that is permitted in islam, so why are most of u guys making out it's a crime and looking down on brothers who wish to take on a second wife? Or sisters who would see the blessings in this sort of marriage, even if we can't?If they follow the rules set out by God then what biz is it of ours? God permits it we shouldn't be allowing our own opinions to dictate matters here should we?It's up to each individual to decide if its for them or not surely?

Or are you guys mad coz of the event posted and the manner in which it's gona be organised?

I ain't commented.

We can't make haraam what has been made halaal.

But there are and will be issues.

I don't see why people are bothered by this. It's not like it affects any of us atm. I try not to have an opinion on issues that don't affect me. Don't always succeed though.

"Admin" wrote:

I don't see why people are bothered by this. It's not like it affects any of us atm. I try not to have an opinion on issues that don't affect me. Don't always succeed though.

u should speak on behalf of ur gender

and put urself in their selfish shoes :roll:

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"Admin" wrote:

I don't see why people are bothered by this. It's not like it affects any of us atm. I try not to have an opinion on issues that don't affect me. Don't always succeed though.

u should speak on behalf of ur gender

and put urself in their selfish shoes :roll:

I only talk for and about my self.

And don't try to turn that into a guys Vs girls things. There is plenty of ammo on both sides.