This was a joke a friend of mine sent but is applicable here:
Toward the end of the church service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight." she replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."
lol.... The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong for anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.
The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them. Have you forgiven your enemies??
What's ****?
When I was in secondary school a guy grassed me up and got me suspended......ok I did something bad but he shouldn't have squealed. I promised to beat him up but I broke that promise and forgave him.
Lol - I wanna know what you did to get suspended.
Yep, you should definitely forgive people who have done wrong against you. Allah swt sees everything and to Him we will all return. What goes around comes back around, if not in this life then in the next one. No point being angry, forget it and get on with your own life.
I have to HAVE to forgive. Mainly for my own peace of mind. I've got way to much important stuff in my mind 90% of the time....I cant afford to give any "think time" to anything else.
There’s nothing I dislike more than bitterness, bearing grudges and hate. It really isn’t healthy…I dislike being a negative, bitter person.
It’s true that the wrongdoers get whats coming to them anyway…so any negativity on my behalf is futile.
However, I don’t forget very easily…I’m also a lot less likely to trust such a person again.
Do you really really wanna know?......ok
Try not to laugh, I burnt the classroom door coz I used to like burning things; bit of an arsonist :oops:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
OH. MY. GOSH!!!! THAT IS SOOO BAD!
Laugh? That's not funny!
What made you get into burning stuff? - loads of kids are like that - I don't get it.
Bloody hell I hope you ain't into that kind of stuff now.
The time when I used to feel like burning stuff was usually around autumn/winter. You see alot of dry leaves around, gather them into one place and set them alight, it's a nice sight to see them burning into ashes (saves the cleaner from brushing them up). Burning dustbins was cool in winter, just set a bin alight and gather around and stay warm. By the way I aint encouraging anyone to go around burning stuff.
Nope, I don't stay with the people I used to hang around before otherwise I'd still be doing it, I'm too busy nowadays.
Forgiveness is vital.
[size=10]The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.[/size]
[size=9]Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)[/size]
I am of the opinion that if you are gonna burn bridges make sure there is no way to fix them.
If you will need to fix them then avoid burning them in the first place.
Ofcourse this does lead to surreal situations where you decide you do not want to burn bridges but need to let off steam...
and then there are times you burn bridges and then realise oh ****!
and then there are times you just not care at that moment.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Relax 9mm Berretta, nobody said anything about forgetting.
Forgive yes... but never forget. If you forget as you so kindly pointed out your bound to repeat your mistakes. So forgive but yes dont forget coz then you dont learn anything. Learn from your mistakes.
As for your analogy about the familys of the victims who perished: it is better for them to forgive as the culprits are dead and getting their just deserts in the hereafter holding onto that hatred in your heart will only damage yourself. You have nothing to gain from it... grieve yes... and then moveon as its now in the hands of the lord.
I do not expect everyone to be capable of forgiving... its just something some people can do whilst others cant. As i said in my original post anger makes you smaller while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you are.
Back in BLACK
whats an enemy coz i honestly dont think i have any...
is it someone u despise for no particular reason
someone who has done something wrong and u've forgiven or overlooked?
The closest example i can think of all stem around one friend, whom i now dont deem as a friend anyway. i cannot trust her she lies so much its as natural as breathing to her. the thing that still ticks me off to this day she once borrowed a lengha of mine,, i reluctantly let her have it coz she insisted and i thght go on let her look nice for the wedding. Well i did warn her the skirt was too long for her and she'd have to wear extra high sandals or not borrow that one take something else. Anyyways i said be careful she tore it, worse part was i only wore it once myself. More bad news it cost me 250 quid of my own hard earned cash as a student. the icing on the cake she never told me she tore it, she gave it back like she was returning a used item.
i called her said look it's got a gaping hole in it, she said she'd fix it. but it was an organza lace like layer over a silk skirt she couldn't repair it if she tried. i didn't wana ask for money and build a wedge between us, i knew she couldn't afford it. But i duno principle of the thing she could have offered and i would have said no, but the thght wud have been appreciated get me? I still have the top to that lengha hanging in my wardrobe duno why just upsets me when i see it
she also borrowed a curling set that once again i had never used brand new. she claimed she had returned it, i didnt wana argue. i later saw it on eid at her house she was using it on her nieces. i said thats mine isnt it she said no i gave urs back....what was i meant to do start a physical fight?
Do i need to make amends with friends like that. im very bitter about many incidences like this, unfortunately shes the sole perpetrator i can't think of any other friends or family that have done me wrong like her. not yet anyways. are u meant to forgive ppl like that or distance urself?
loooooooooooool gosh u sound like one of my brothers.
I know people like that.
It’s very, very hard to trust someone who has let you down before.
But it’s easy to forgive…but even when one forgives it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to become your best friend again.
I strongly believe that negativity/bad feelings harms the ones who has been wronged more than it harms the wrong doer.
i'm not really the type of person who holds grudges. or i guess if i ever have, they havent lasted long. so i don't have any 'enemies' but there are people who i have distanced myself from - as you mentioned yash - but that doesn't mean i hate them or want 'revenge' or anything. i just don't trust them. forgiving and forgetting is great, but the latter is for when you know the person made a mistake and means well deep down. but if you keep getting screwed over by the same person it makes sense to forgive, and then distance yourself from him or her.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
enemies... i have loads that see ME as their enemy... lol...but i dont see anyone as my enemy...
there are ppl i dont like, disagree 110%, dont even wanna look at them, dont respect etc.... but enemy...naah...
as u know by now...i am a bit hot headed, a bit too passionate about issues, a bit in your face, a bit OTT...but nice guy really lol... just misunderstood
i have argued with many ppl...but mostly end up apologisng to them after a while... but there are a few ppl i haven't spoke to for years and dont intend to... thats probably my ego getting the better of me...
[b][color=indigo]I have no enemies, no grudges and i don’t hate anyone. I’m a very forgiving person who forgives very easily but doesn't forget. [/color][/b]
so true
To be beautiful is to expect nothing in return.