Why is this so?
A non-muslim freind asked me this..I tried to explain but found it difficult?
She asked...
why if Islam is such a 'fair and equal' religion is it permissable for a Muslim man to get married 2/3/4 times yet it isn't permissable for a Muslim woman too?
Many Thanks
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i dont know the exact technical answer according to hadiths and quran perhaps some of the more knowledgeble brothers and sisters may know .. admin and sis ?
but it seems unlogical for a women to have 2 or 3 husbands
as she can only have one child at a time
imagine the work as she would have to cook, clean and care for 3 husbands
im sure there may also be tensions between the husbands
it just so inpractical it will never work
whereas a man having 2 or 3 wifes is practical
as he may have more children
also in times of war where there is a shortage of men , it was practical for men to marry more than 1 wife
also if your wife cannot have a child you can marry again, but still look after her
also a man may marry widows and divorces who may need financial support
there are also certain guidelines according to islam one should follow when marrying more than 1 wife, e.g. to treat all wifes fairly
however polygamy is not common as it may not be practical in contemporary islamic society
Salaam
Islamically, this is because the child has a right to know who his father is. This is not possible if a woman is married to more than one man.
Also, personally I think women in general do not have the innate tendency or desire. She can only fully give herself to ONE man.
Thirdly, say if one of the husbands passed away, leaving his children with the other husband(s). It would not be fair to make another man financially, legally and emotionally responsible for someone else’s children.
Lastly, it can not be easy for a woman to see to the demands of more than one man.
Wasalaam
simple answer is coz Allah ordained it that way. More detailed answer I'll find you insha'Allah, unless someone beats me to it.
muslimsis, i don't understand the point that the child has a right to know their father, and if a woman has more than one husband it'll be hard to determine. Well can't it be equally hard to determine which wife is the childs mother. Surely a child has a right to know who their mother is aswell. Anyway logically why should it be hard unless the wives are vindictive. Also dna tests readily available these days for such ppl.
I'm not trying to go against wht the scholars say coz i've read the same as what you have written on some Q&A websites however that point doesn't come across as a valid reason to me.
I don't understand...?
Surely, a woman would know which child she gave birth to.
However, if a woman is with more than one man its harder to know which man conceived her baby.
Its true that DNA tests are available today...maybe the traditional scholars werent aware of these tests when they offered the above explanation.
I thought that too
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
any woman should know the answer to this - it'd b a massive emotional strain and too much to handle. as MuslimSis pointed out, a woman can only fully give herself to one man.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Assalamu Alaikum,
This gives a different perspective on why it's permitted for men but not women on a social level.
III&E Brochure Series; No. 13 (published by The Institute of Islamic Information and Education (III&E) and reproduced with permission)
[size=12]---------------------------- WHO PRACTICES POLYGAMY? Polygamy has been practiced by mankind for thousands of years. Many of the ancient Israelites were polygamous, some having hundreds of wives. King Solomon (peace be upon him) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. David (Dawood) had ninety-nine and Jacob (Yacub, peace be upon them both) had four. Advice given by some Jewish wise men state that no man should marry more than four wives. No early society put any restrictions on the number of wives or put any conditions about how they were to be treated. Jesus was not known to have spoken against polygamy.
As recently as the seventeenth century, polygamy was practiced and accepted by the Christian Church. The Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United States. Monogamy was introduced into Christianity at the time of Paul when many revisions took place in Christianity. This was done in order for the church to conform to the Greco-Roman culture where men were monogamous but owned many slaves who were free for them to use: in other words, unrestricted polygamy. Early Christians invented ideas that women were "full of sin" and man was better off to "never marry." Since this would be the end of mankind these same people compromised and said "marry only one."
In the American society many times when relations are strained, the husband simply deserts his wife. The he cohabits with a prostitute or other immoral woman without marriage. Actually there are three kinds of polygamy practiced in Western societies: (1) serial polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, and so on any number of times; (2) a man married to one woman but having and supporting one or more mistresses; (3) an unmarried man having a number of mistresses. Islam condones but discourages the first and forbids the other two.
Wars cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number of men. In a monogamous society these women, left without husbands or support, resort to prostitution, illicit relationships with married men resulting in illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part of the father, or lonely spinsterhood or widowhood. Some Western men take the position that monogamy protects the rights of women. But are these men really concerned about the rights of women? The society has so many practices which exploit and suppress women, leading to women's liberation movements from the suffragettes of the early twentieth century to the feminists of today. The truth of the matter is that monogamy protects men, allowing them to "play around" without responsibility. Easy birth control and easy legal abortion has opened the door of illicit sex to woman and she has been lured into the so-called sexual revolution. But she is still the one who suffers the trauma of abortion and the side effects of the birth control methods. Taking aside the plagues of venereal disease, herpes and AIDS, the male continues to enjoy himself free of worry. Men are the ones protected by monogamy while women continue to be victims of men's desires.
Polygamy is very much opposed by the male dominated society because it would force men to face up to responsibility and fidelity. It would force them to take responsibility for their polygamous inclinations and would protect and provide for women and children. Among all the polygamous societies in history there were none which limited the number of wives. All of the relationships were unrestricted. In Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of wives a man can have while making him responsible for all of the women involved.
[b]"Marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one or one that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur'an 4:3) [/b]
This verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than one woman but only if he can deal justly with them. Another verse says that a person is unable to deal justly between wives, thus giving permission but discouraging.
[b]"You will never be able to deal justly between wives however much you desire (to do so). But (if you have more than one wife) do not turn altogether away (from one), leaving her in suspense..." (Qur'an 4:129) [/b]
While the provision for polygamy makes the social system flexible enough to deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not necessarily recommended or preferred by Islam. Taking the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is instructive. He was married to one woman, Khadijah, for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when he had reached the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages to promote friendships, create alliances or to be an example of some lesson to the community; also to show the Muslims how to treat their spouses under different conditions of life. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was given inspiration from Allah about how to deal with multiple marriages and the difficulties encountered therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to handle two wives, two families, and two households and still be just between the two. No man of reasonable intelligence would enter into this situation without a great deal of thought and very compelling reasons (other than sexual).
Some people have said that the first wife must agree to the second marriage. Others have said that the couple can put it into the marriage contract that the man will not marry a second wife. First of all, neither the Qur'an nor Hadith state that the first wife need be consulted at all concerning a second marriage let alone gain her approval. Consideration and compassion on the part of the man for his first wife should prompt him to discuss the matter with her but he is not required to do so or to gain her approval. Secondly, the Qur'an has explicitly given permission for a man to marry "two or three or four." No one has the authority to make a contract forbidding something that has been granted by Allah. The bottom line in the marriage relationship is good morality and happiness, creating a just and cohesive society where the needs of men and women are well taken care of.
The present Western society, which permits free sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an abundance of irresponsible sexual relationships, an abundance of "fatherless" children, many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the country's welfare system. In part, such an undesirable welfare burden has given rise to bloated budget deficits which even an economically powerful country like the United States cannot accommodate. Bloated budget deficits have become a political football which is affecting the political system of the United States. In short, we find that artificially created monogamy has become a factor in ruining the family structure, and the social, economic and political systems of the country.
It must be a prophet, and indeed it was Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who directed Muslims to get married or observe patience until one gets married.
[b]'Abdullah b. Mas'ud reported Allah's messenger as saying, "Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire." (Bukhari and Muslim) [/b]
Islam wants people to be married and to develop a good family structure. Also Islam realizes the requirements of the society and the individual in special circumstances where polygamy can be the solution to problems. Therefore, Islam has allowed polygamy, limiting the number of wives to four, but does not require or even recommend polygamy. In the Muslim societies of our times, polygamy is not frequently practiced despite legal permission in many countries. It appears that the American male is very polygamous, getting away with not taking responsibility for the families he should be responsible for. --Mary Ali (NOTE: In this article polygamy has been used to mean polygyny meaning having two or more wives. Islam forbids polyandry meaning having two or more husbands.)
--------------------- INTRODUCTION OF III&E The Institute of Islamic Information and Education (III&E) is dedicated to the cause of Islam in North America through striving to elevate the image of Islam and Muslims by providing the correct information about Islamic beliefs, history and civilization from the authentic sources. [/size]
Ref: http://www.jannah.org/sisters/polygamy.html
P.S another reason which i don't think has been mentioned is surplus of women, this was one of the reasons it was permitted in the early days of Islam. Men went off to war to protect single women the only halal way was to marry them take them with them. Also women left widowed due to war, or single women left without any male guardians. Surplus of women is still a problem today,major problem in america more women than men to go around. if all them women wana marry they'l have to look outside america. also a lota divorced women, men seem to be more reluctant to marry them. Some societies due to stigma other societies coz she comes with baggage.
Salam
It is true that in Islam, you can marry as many women as you wish.
Our Prophet Solomon the Wise, who was also a King, had 300 wives. Yes 300.
I guess its good to be the king.
However, the point is that women do not like this facility from God.
They seem to have a serious problem with God on this one.
They can handle all other things, but when it comes to Him allowing men to take on other women above the first wife, this really gets on their nerves. They want to send a letter of complaint to the Almighty.
They accept this ordinance very reluctantly.
Men, on the other hand, have absolutely no problem at all with this commandment of God.
Watch:
Thank you O Lord.
Omrow
:roll: chatting a load of rubbish as usual... :roll:
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
The Institute of Islamic Information and Education's example of Christianity is misplaced, trying to use exceptions and heresies to prove the rule.
Mormons are fringe - possibly not even Christian since they follow a false prophet.
It's difficult to say since they proclaim a faith in Christ... and a false prophet simultaneously, either way they do not represent Christendom.
Attempts at introducing polygamy into Christianity have been tried numerous times and failed, it's heresy.
I rest my case.
I wouldn't file for summary judgement if I were you.
An imam once went to see a doctor because of ill health. the doctor treating the imam was a muslim women. she asked the exact question.
the imam replied to the doctor:
i want you to get me an empty bowl and two beakers of milk, one from a cow and the other from a goat.
the doctor did as she was told and got the equiptment.
the imam then asked the doctor to pour the goats milk into the bowl, then pour the cows milk into the bowl aswell.
once the task was finished the imam then asked the doctor to take the cows milk out ov the bowl.
the doctor replied "that is virtually impossible to do, without specialist equiptment and time it cannot be done"
the imaam then said "in the same way, if a women was to have more than one husband and has a child, how is one to determine who is the father"
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
DNA testing?
...and I don't even want to know how allegoric that was meant to be
what you have to remember is that DNA testing is relatively a new thing, discovered long after islam was [b]perfected[/b]
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
So why didn't [b]perfected[/b] Islam account for it?
God saw DNA testing coming i'm sure.
as time progresses people tend to learn more things.
put it this wasy, if you had lived 1400 hundred years ago, would you understand science
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
lol I barely know all that much about science [i]today[/i].
So now that we have DNA science, why does this argument about knowing who the father is still justify the [i]eternal[/i] prohibition of multiple partners for women?
It seems like it's a bit of a moot point don't you think?
once something is perfected, why change, if you do change it then its not perfection.
plus no one alive today has the power or the authority to change anything to do with islam - that is why islam is the great religion that it is - because nothing has changed
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
plus there are more reasons as to why women cannot have more than 1 husband which i cant tell you off the top of my head
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
So you agree then that this is a moot point, and defer to other reasons right?
im still trying to work out what "moot" means
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
the point i gave may be moot, but there are many other reasons and one should not just look at 1 side of the matter.
hay hay i worked out what "moot" means - oo the wonders of the online dictionary
i was born intelligent, but education ruined me
Just a general question for the girls. I know they wouldn't be happy if their husband took a second wife. But what about if there was a man that they really admire and was very religious but was already married, and his first wife was cool with the idea, would they be willing to be a second wife. Or in today society are people just generally against the idea.
"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."
[url=http//www.guidancemedia.com/videostream.php?id=Burda.mov]Quran[/url]
i might consider the above
but would NEVER do it
cos i aint a home wrecker-no first wife can be "cool"about the idea
Unfortunately i've been brainwashed into the secular idea of one man one woman and a devoted kind of love. Call me soppy if you like but that's what i believe in, and prefer. I know polygamy is allowed i won't deny it. But some brothers seem to extol it's virtues more than Islam actually does, only coz they want another wife and they wana give their first wife some damn good excuses to happily accept it. Polygamy is neither obligatory nor encouraged, it's simply permitted if the man can satisfy the criteria Allah has set.
I could never imagine being a second wife to anyone. I don't wana go into the details but such a predicament as Yuit has mentioned,happened to me before i was married. i was asked to be a second wife to a brother. Yeah he was a good person but i wasn't hooked by the idea at all. I thght why should i be a second wife when i can be the first and last for someone else? And as lilsis said what about the feelings of the first wife?
Lilsis made a good point about the feelings of the first wife, i think exactly the same as her.
good post yash
personally i think too many men today are deluded
they don't know or understand women
if they did they'd know how HARD it is to cater to the demands of one woman
let alone 2 or 4 :roll:
most the brothers on this forum ain't married sis, so they're living on cuckoo land at the moment, hate to see when they get married it's gona hit them hard when they fall off
LOL
esp if they get married to a "British" gal
we all heard how "demanding" they are :roll:
Why would you guys (literally) even want more than one?
I might be a mindless romantic, but at 50 I definitely don't think i'll be looking longingly at my daughter's friends...
Women are a gift - not a collectable action figure
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." - Proverbs 18:22
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