Salaam to everyone
I'm in a very big dilemma. My friend loves a boy to death and wants to get married to him when she gets older. She's only in year 9 like me. But her family is very strict, if they find out that she likes that person, they'll move to another place with her. What should I tell her to do? And also, is it wrong in Islam to tell your parents that you want to get married to a certain person?
Comments
What is the younger generation getting to?
Hormones and attraction are normal. So is patience.
If the feelings are still there when she is older then maybe God will provide a path.
Otherwise, infatuations happen. Tell her to get over it, avoid being too cozy with people of the opposite gender and it should be manageable.
If she does tell them, they won't move. and if they do, there will be other people ther for her to crush on too.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Doubt its "love" and even if it is she would have to wait to get married.
Tell her to not have a bf/gf relationship with him, if they are still in love when they are older she can do istikhara to make sure she is making the right decision.
It's not wrong to tell your parents you want to marry a certain person.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
But what she has is unexplainable. All she can think about is that stupid boy. It is very annoying at times.
And no, she can't or never will crush on anyone else rather than him.
exactly. It's a crush.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Thanks, but erm the boy doesn't know anything about her, or the fact that she loves him. Plus he is one year older.
All totally normal.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
How much does she know him?
She does NOT love him, it's just a crush.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Basically, her sister's best friend is his cousin sister. Plus, his and her mum know eachother, since they were neighbours. He knows that too.
lol or you could avoid the person - that would help you forget them.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
yup, the way to beat addiction is to find something more addictive.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Nah it ain't that hard!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I meant a crush - and avoiding the person.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
There is no way she can avoid the person. He is very popular and is part of a "gang".
So?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
It's hard, because he "reps" the same area she is from. Him and his gang are always hanging around infront of her house, or walking on the road.
its not a rare occurrence and it will pass.
Don't worry about your friend. Just make sure she stays on the straight and narrow when her brain is all confused.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Her brain is NOT confused. MY brain is!
Why is your brain confused?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
NO!! I DO NOT LIKE HIM.
I'm confused because she's asked me to help her, but how?
Pheonix. you want help but you're disagreeing and refusing everything we're throwing at you.
she cant go out with him or do ANYTHING with him. END OF. do you understnad? now. or you be a good friend and help her stay out of trouble.
or you set her up
i dont care if he's gangleader, handsome, most popular. he's a guy. end of.
nothing difficult about this. i dont see why you should be confused.
now. let's talk marriage?
cooking, cleaning, washing, hoovering, dusting, being pleasant TWENTYFOUR seven. Runing a house of YOUR OWN. looking after yourself not just for you but for someoene else. compromising, admiting your wrong. possibility of having kids. having in-laws.
can your friend REALLY take all this NOW?
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
LOL, negative much?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
well..phoenix and her friend dont seem to be aware of this thing called real life. thought i'd give them a lil reminder innit?
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
you never know, she might be one of those rare teenagers who may be looking forward to such things.
and the cooking meals for his whole family. at stupid o'clock.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
The girl's crushing, fantasizing even I doubt she would actually get ready to marry the guy if given the go-ahead. o.O
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
She cant be in love at the age of 13/14 she's too young. Parents can't force you to marry someone but they have a say in who you marry if he's muslim then it's fine i guess so there is no reason for them to like him. Why would the parents move because she has a crush? it seems too harsh. and no it's not wrong to tell them. where have you heard it's wrong?
Your like the first person who gave me a good reply.
Thank you.
year 9???
Blimey
if id married who I hd a a crush on in yr 9
id be screwed!
its a crush at that age
tell her to just concentrate on her schoolwork
HAHAHAHA sorry to laugh but i used to hear this sort of thing all the time when i was in school. Im in loooove, i cant live without him. I thought they wer just quoting out of an indian film. What am i talking about some people still do come to me with these so called dilemmas they are in.
I have grown sick and tired of hearing about this. It takes over a persons whole life, until that is all they ever talk about. They forget about everything else, their deen, their education, their friends and family and they end up feeling depressed all the time.
I bet you this is all sounding very familliar to you. I can undetstand your feelings of wanting to help your friend without hurting them. This is becaue this is what you call true love. Your friend is just going through a phase and the shataan is taking advantage of this. I mean really if Allah thought that this person was good for your friend then surely He would make it easy for them.
Your love for your friend is much stronger than her love for him and as a friend you should advise her to not stray away from the straight path. Hope this helps you insha allah, may allah guide us all Ameen
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Love, small word, BEEEEEG consequences!! Grow up first, before you go to war with your parents for a chap you hardly know.
If I ever have to kill for something, it would be for, "A woman"
If I ever have to kill something it would have to be, "A woman"