i know all them and you've told me SOO many times, but i cant help it. and now im really upset, so i'll just gush everything out here (without thinking about it and without proofreading)
:Cry: im so scared for my younger siblings! i KNOW they are still young, but i want them to love the deen and not see it as a burden. Im sooo scared they wont be able to give up their little wordly desires, im so scared they wont see the VALUE of Islam and the knowledge they need to acquire. and it makes me SOO sad and upset when i have to tell them repeatedly, "go read Quran" "go do your memorizing" i want them to like it and enjoy it, NOT see it as a burden where big sis always NAGS and NAGS about it :Cry:
my bro (9) watched a movie by himself today...i know its NOT a BIG deal, but its going to lead to "if this is okay, than that is okay and that is okay etc.. etc..."
already, we watched movies as a family and we know its not so good, but then if he sits and watches a WHOLE movie BY HIMSELF 
why cant he sticks to CARTOONS?
then he still doesnt value the "balancing religious and nonreligious". he didnt do any Quran today, yet doesnt seem to feel guilty (As the balance leaned A LOT towards dunya coz he watched that movie" he didnt think about BALANCING it out... 
and i could go on forever, but this is the raw, the stuff that triggered my blahblahing. :Cry: ohh..i just dont want them to have a hard life here...
Comments
Let him breathe a little. It's not so bad - and you caqnnot control how others think, they need to be allowed to eventually do the right thing for the right reasons.
and what is my rule of thumb about parents?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
if there are parents then dont be one.
Let parents be parents.
and other such variations.
/slaps forehead
cant believe you dont know...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I think you need to breath a little first lol. Just relax! I'm the eldest and I've got FIVE younger siblings so I definitely understand what your talking about here.
To be perfectly honest he is only NINE years old he will NOT understand the value of Islam and he will NOT try to balance things at his age. He is just to young to comprehend these things and I think you need to take it easy, I understand the frustration and the fact that your scared. But like I said he is only 9, not near enough to understand the value of anything much let alone Islam and Deen. And at his age he will need to be told to pray Quran and Pray Salah etc, but it becomes a routine and when they are old enough to understand it comes naturally to them, although sometimes you still got to nag.
I understand how you feel about not wanting to be 'naggy' but its just the way things are sometimes. I'm like that also with my younger brother and sister, but they do it and get a reward (like playing his psp or ps3 etc). For instance, my youngest sister is 9 we all wakeup for Fajr Jamaat including her...obviously takes a good time to wake her up but still she knows its an obligation and will do it.
Lol kids won't feel guilty for not reading Quran! Until they reach a certain age where they are able to think for themselves to a certain level. At the age of nine I hardly think he is able to think for himself enough to feel guilty over not praying.
Cut him some slack, still be the nagging sister as its your job and relax a little.
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
woah WOAH!
calm down girl! and i agree let them breathe. I think if you're always telling people to do such and such then they might not even understand WHY they have to do it. So they'll start doing it for the sake of it and consequently stop realising its values.
Although you see it as advice and keeping them in line/making sure you do your bit, I think always telling them to do it could have the adverse effect.
I personally hate being told to do things like reading teh Qur'an etc. It makes it less special and meaningful for me.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Oh, that one!
:oops:
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
i'm 16 i still don't think i've started to balance things out. never really seen it that way.
I hate it when people tell me to read quran or pray. It makes it a less meaningful & personal thing for me. I would much rather do it from my own heart & choice than becaus esomebody was telling me to.
He'll understand in time he's young step back... but i get why your stressed, just calm down & things will take course how they're menta.
Thanks all for your advice, yep, will try and step back (and i dont like nagging...)
its just that parents are Tired...i dont want them to have a hard time...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Um what's wrong with watching a film by himself? I mean i'm guessing it's the worry of parts not being child-friendly (or am i putting words in your mouth?) but some cartoons and kids programs themselves aren't really Islamically child-friendly if you get me =S
Anyway what sort of films do you watch with your family?
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
its not the movie in itself..its the fact that he watched it by himself. we only ever watch movies together...if he starts watching A (random) movie by himself now, he's gona think its okay and do it all the time, but it is NOT okay, "movies" is a big wide world. and he doesnt know whats good for him...sometimes..he wanna watch a movie with fam and i check the parent contents and that and im like "no, we cant, its got bad things" (notice i have JUSTIFIED MY ANSWER) but the dude just wont take it and starts arguing and saying things like "ohh we only ever watch what you want, you're evil you dont want us to watch anything, its always you who decides" (i try to keep my calp, common Lills, breathe in...and....out....) but then he brings parents in and he starts getting too loud (i dont ask for too much respect but please..dont shout at me...especially since im right..) so i just shout out what i read in the content advisory, or i make my parents watch the trailer, it'll teach him good. (i only do it every once in a while when he pushes it too much, havent done it recently, he's calmed down)
cartoons, well he watches stuff like batman, superman, arthur, phinea and ferb, we have some control. and cartoons are a "saferish" world...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Ok please don't totally hate me for saying this
BUT as much as i find it increasingly weird that my cousins watch (for example) the Disney Channel which contains jokes that I get - because i'm old enough, contains girls - and guys, wearing adult styled clothes and doing adult like stuff, they (your brother and my cousins) are growing up and YES their TV should be controlled but at the same time they're not going to be watching cartoons forever. In fact watching a little (good) film here and there isn't going to kill them, it's more probably going to help them mature because being the ignorant one (about certain things) in life is really not the way to go.
Plus, the more something is forbidden the higher the feeling of 'let me do it' - there's a sort of rush doing what you're not allowed to.
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
Brainwashing starts at a young age where kids are taught what is normal.
The jokes they dont get are not that bad - it is the writers either getting bored or adding in stuff so that the parents who will take their kids to the cinema do not hate the experience (and thus they not go next time...)
but then is stuff that they do get, the idea that such relationships are normal and always have been.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
lool at the last sentence.
i know what you mean, but..hey, we watch a lot of movies thats got (i feel) enough maturing stuff.
we watch all sorts, martial arts, action, war movies, and them philosophical ones like the book of eli and that. and sometimes family, happy go lucky ones like DOubtfire, or Eddie Murphy and that.
so you think he should watch movies by himself? its the BY HIMSELF thing. WE watch enough movies together. he doesnt need to watch any by himself i feel.
and you think that a 9 years old should be able to choose what movie they watch?
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Ok i wrote my answer based on not being allowed to watch films period - i assumed you watched a set type of film.
To a certain extent but not when you know the film isn't decent (could always watch it first then decide i guess).
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
kids movies are okay, like kungfu panda, most of dreamworks animation, pixar animation, disney cartoons etc...
but even then, a movie is like A MOVIE (its like a family thing...we always watch movies together, because even if its from the list above, the whole family enjoys watching them together)
or are you saying the experience of watching a movie by yourself?
when was the first time you watched a movie by yourself? like chose the movie etc...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Wish i could remember!
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
It was Child's Play and I was seven.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
o.O lol
@ Lilly, why is him watching a film alone such a big deal? :S Everyone needs a bit of "alone" time, and maybe this would be his way...? after all he's surrounded by 3 sisters (M'A)!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
he watches enough cartoons in his "alone" time, he wasnt suppose to be on PC. if he had asked then it might have been different (would most probably have said no anyway, just dont like him watching stuff i havent watched before) but it would have been different. he wasnt allowed to be on PC.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
most probably yes.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
A part or the whole of my post may or may not have been a fabrication.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
just admit you lied.
(??)
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?