If this story doesn't make you laugh so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Xmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her...
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
'But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.'
Comments
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
pray for me.
Me too.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
LOL that was NOT that funny! (it just made me smile)
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
and then you laughed for ages afterwards too...
Ya'qub and Noor need an emergency humour transplant.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
sure i did :roll:
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
its just so obvious, contrived and dull.
Then again, my reaction may have been different if Seraph hadn't raised my expectations so much, he is obviously not experienced in telling jokes, or he'd know not to big them up so much at the beginning, cos that way they always fail.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Maybe, but that is why it probably worked for me - I was expecting it to be terrible, because they generally are after being bigged up.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
i can't believe YOU said that!
I was just about to say this is such a Cube-fied blog xD
It so sounds like something you would say
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
Nahhhh, I hate this sort of joke (maybe hate is a strong word, but I don't find them funny, anyway). If it was a true story then it would be very funny, but since it's not, then it's not.
I like simpler, shorter jokes such as:
"My mum's gone on holiday to the Caribbean."
"Jamaica?"
"No she wanted to go."
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Lol, for all you saddos who didnt laugh... i feel sorry for you.
I found it quite funny
Its good to laugh.
Back in BLACK
But if what is bugging you is actually not worth worrying about, laughing about it can make you put it into correct perspective.
Don't just do something! Stand there.