Salaam
I’ve noticed in some communities – particularly my own. When someone has a bad past and then gave up his/her wrong ways – society still finds it difficult to accept this.
Some people do their time in prison - but when they come out full of remorse, society still shuns them.
I know of reverts who are not welcomed into the family they marry into, as their inlaws assume that they are still hanging onto to their unislamic cultural ways.
I’ve attended weddings of girls/boys where in school the girl/boy was known as the local rudeboy/gal…and then later changed…but the elders still won’t stop gossiping about them.
In the court of Allah, when one repents and changes their ways – in the eyes of Allah, their status increases and it’s as if they never committed that sin in the first place….
Research shows that, cos of the judgemental attitude of the community many convicts end up in prison again.
Of course not all convicts will come out of as prison good people. But we should not treat people according to their past, especially if they’ve done their towba…
How judgemental are you? Do you judge people according to their past?
Would you offer a job to someone who's CRB was not clear?
Would you marry a ex-player?
And is it true that a leopard never changes his spots?
Wasalaam
In our community, its basically a case of a persons public image. Once that has been tarnished then its VERY hard for people to see them in any other light.
Once a persons been to prison, theres becomes a stigma of sorts attached to them. They become labeled as a criminal for life.
Its a trust of sorts that everyones given... but once its been broken its VERY VERY VERY difficult to change peoples minds that you've changed.
Then there are certain crimes which are never forgiven... even after the persons done the time. And becoz of that people will always be cautious of them. To quote an old saying: "to error is human, to forgive is devine".
Whether I offer them a job depends on the job and the crime they committed. e.g. asking a Pedo to be a teacher is asking for trouble.
As for marriage... that depends on the persons past and the person they've become.
I usually prefer not to judge people... which is why i usually dont pay attention to anyone (hence the confusion when people claim to know me). However having said that... I find a persons mannerisms usually says loads about them. Looks may be confusing but manners never lie.
So can a leapord change its spots? IMO no... he can only hide them behind the character of the person they have become.
Back in BLACK
Salam
People have a right to remember what you have done in the past, pious lady.
You seems to forget that this is normal in every community.
Its called a criminal record. Even the police log it forever.
Only God erases your sins forever, if you seriously want them erased.
Everybody else remembers the wrongs that sisters have been doing.
Omrow
I think I have read a quote by Imam Ghazzali on this topic on these very forums (or their predecessors). Something like "If you tell me [something unbelievable - can't remember what], I can believe it, if you tell me someone has changed, I can't."
People can stop doing bad things,but changing the actual personality is not as easy thing. it is pretty much impossible most of the time.
Saying that, if they have given up the bad thing, unless you have a sore spot about it (because it affected you/fasmily/friend etc..), it is always best to move on. With eyues open, so as not to fall into the same ditch yourself.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Does everyone hold reverts in the same light as they view ex-convict?
No - one knew better, the other didn't.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Nope, of course they can. Take Bishr al-hafi (ra) for an example, he led a corrupt life and then repented and became one of the greatest sufi masters to walk this planet.
If there ever was such a thing, there would be no such thing as repentance.
Repentence is applicable to both reverts and convicts - I dont believe that we should pick and choose whom we wish to be more accepting towards.
No
Well actually, depends how long they've stopped bein a playa
' Nay, verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me ' {2662}
He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven.
Back in BLACK
I think I may be discussing something totally different...
It is not about being accepting or not - not even about a person doing good or bad. Personality is hard to change.
A person can start or stop sinning, but change personality? no.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
i agree with admin in terms of my personal experience.
i still [i]feel[/i] the same personas i did before. My previous sins & disbelief are as much a part of me as my current sins & belief.
in terms of looking 2 others... I think it is of course good 2 forgive ppl, but not always wise 2 forget their misdemeaners. That way u wont get bitten by the same snake twice.
if anything, i respect some1 more who's been a bad-boy in the past compared 2 a goody-2-shoes. They can c both sides of th story better.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
I dont see why people dont except individuals who changed and make genuine attempt to become philanthropists.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Admin, everyones orginal nature is pure and good - it might be difficult to get it back to that innocent state - but its not impossible.
I know quite a few people who have made a complete U turn in life - for the good....some are reverts too.