Unwanted Girls

Earlier this year in the southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, farmer Ram Kumar made a shocking discovery.

Sticking out of the earth was a tiny human hand.

Barely audible, were the cries of a newborn baby.

"There was a girl wrapped in a cloth and buried deep in the ground," said Ram Kumar.

"The baby should not have been alive but somehow it was."

The two-day old baby was rushed to a local hospital to recover from her ordeal. Her grandfather meanwhile confessed to the girl's attempted murder.

Boys are still prized more than girls because they will carry on the family name and traditionally provide for parents in their old age

So great is the burden that girls are seen to place on a family, that some believe it is better that they are never born.

In the past, infanticide was seen as one solution. Now with advances in medical technology, many parents are resorting to ultrasound scans to determine the gender of the baby.

If it is a girl, parents often pay for an abortion.

Sex selection tests and abortion on the basis of gender have been banned for 15 years in India. But the law has simply forced the trade underground.

UN figures state that 750,000 girls are aborted every year in India.

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Are these sentiments cultural, biological or social?

Has anyone else ever faced/heard of discrimination against women?

If you were expecting a child - what would you prefer, and why?

And is it 'really natural' for men to want more boys?

:shock: Sad

i dint think this stoopid way of thinking still existed. esp in india, it's meant to be moving up in the world :roll:
it's defo a cultural/social thing but they aint Muslims so what do u expect? this is what happens when there is no islam in the scene, whose to drawn the line? look at the love the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) had for his daughter, hadrat Fatimah (ra). subhaan'Allah.
many women cannot even have children and there they are, killing them?! all children are a blessing from Allah, no one has the right to take their lives away.
instead of burrying them alive, at least give them up for adoption!

That is so stupid because statistically if u send a girl and a boy equal age nd abilty to school the girl will suceed futher girls are better learners therefore if given enough support can provide for thr family also i dont see why they shud be a burden

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"Funzo" wrote:
That is so stupid because statistically if u send a girl and a boy equal age nd abilty to school the girl will suceed futher girls are better learners therefore if given enough support can provide for thr family also i dont see why they shud be a burden

You know what Funzo, for the first time on the revival you have wrote something that is actually worth reading.

Good on you boy.

A rose protects its beauty with thorns..a woman protects hers with a veil

Lol maybe nd this is a huuge maybe you just intepreted my posts wrongly and it was only the fact that i was showing women in a positive light that you realised that i posted something good when ive been doing it throughout my whole revival member lifetime or maybe it was my first post wiv sumting that is actually worth reading

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"Funzo" wrote:
That is so stupid because statistically if u send a girl and a boy equal age nd abilty to school the girl will suceed futher girls are better learners therefore if given enough support can provide for thr family also i dont see why they shud be a burden

Girls cannot provide for their family because:
a) When they get married, they go off to live at their husbands house, and
b) Some parents are unable to pay their dowries of their daughters.

So parents would prefer a boy because:
a) Before or after marriage, he still stays with his parents so he can provide and look after them, and
b) I don't think the parents of the boy need to pay dowry.

Btw, before anyone criticises me, I am against this practice of preferring boys over girls.

"MuslimBro" wrote:
"Funzo" wrote:
That is so stupid because statistically if u send a girl and a boy equal age nd abilty to school the girl will suceed futher girls are better learners therefore if given enough support can provide for thr family also i dont see why they shud be a burden

Girls cannot provide for their family because:
a) When they get married, they go off to live at their husbands house, and
b) Some parents are unable to pay their dowries of their daughters.

in this day and age girls get married at a later age if doing so the time she spend there time providing for there family if she has a well earnt job she can still pay for her family if they are in need sometimes the males stays round the wifes house

b) dowries wont be such a problem if the daughter suceeds in skool she will be well respected and more people would ask for the hand in marrage

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"MuslimSister" wrote:

And is it 'really natural' for men to want more boys?

Not really,

I would be just as happy with a baby girl as I would be with a baby boy.

Back in BLACK

"MuslimBro" wrote:
[
Girls cannot provide for their family because:
a) When they get married, they go off to live at their husbands house, and
b) Some parents are unable to pay their dowries of their daughters.

So parents would prefer a boy because:
a) Before or after marriage, he still stays with his parents so he can provide and look after them, and
b) I don't think the parents of the boy need to pay dowry.

Btw, before anyone criticises me, I am against this practice of preferring boys over girls.

tut tut i expected better from you lol.
let me tell you a little story. My mate got married from back home a.k.a. pakiland. She came back got a job in order to get her hubby a visa in the country. When he finally came over she was still working and supporting herself and her hubby coz he couldnt get a job (couldnt speak any english). When he finally did get a job in a takeaway that didnt even pay minimum wage he sent it all to his family back home. My mate took out a mortage in order to pay for a house and its her wage (by this time she had two jobs) that paid for the mortage payments, the bills and supporting her baby girl and husband.

Now tell me MuslimBro in that story where does the women go to live with her husband?
Im sure this is not true in every case but the reality is it does happen.

No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy

I have always wanted a baby girl 1st. I would like to have a few kids, inshAllah, and in my experience when the girl is the eldest she looks after her siblings very well, whereas if the brother is the eldest, he tends to go off being all independant and stuff, and sometimes even bullies his siblings.

But the situation here is very different. In the 3rd world (and India is undoubtedly a 3rd world country, especially in rural areas), the roles a boy or a girl play are very different.

in Mecca, our hotel was right next to a graveyard where infant girls had been buried alive during the times of Jahaliyyah. It was a very eery place top say the least. It felt very odd looking at it.

Don't just do something! Stand there.

"Naz" wrote:
Now tell me MuslimBro in that story where does the women go to live with her husband?

If you read the article or watched the documentary you would have realised that it's India they're talking about, not Britain.

"Ya'qub" wrote:
But the situation here is very different. In the 3rd world (and India is undoubtedly a 3rd world country, especially in rural areas), the roles a boy or a girl play are very different.

"MuslimBro" wrote:
"Naz" wrote:
Now tell me MuslimBro in that story where does the women go to live with her husband?

If you read the article or watched the documentary you would have realised that it's India they're talking about, not Britain.

but if u realised some parts of india are very mordenised and are like britain so you do get that scenario

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"Funzo" wrote:
but if u realised some parts of india are very mordenised and are like britain so you do get that scenario

but if [i]you[/i], yes you realised that most of the people living in India are poor and don't live in modernised areas.

many people (especially women) sell their kidneys on the black market in India because they're so poor, and they are taken out in back street operations
there are [b]very[/b] few, [b]very[/b] rich people in India (like pretty much everywhere else in the world).

Don't just do something! Stand there.

"MuslimBro" wrote:
"Funzo" wrote:
but if u realised some parts of india are very mordenised and are like britain so you do get that scenario

but if [i]you[/i], yes you realised that most of the people living in India are poor and don't live in modernised areas.

but u can still earn a living if your poor cant you? by dat i mean get a good education nd living

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"Funzo" wrote:
but u can still earn a living if your poor cant you? by dat i mean get a good education nd living

Have enough food so you can survive, yes.
Have enough money to send your kids to school, no.

Salaam

If this is taken to its logical conclusion, there will be no women left in India and the population will then die out within the next generation.

Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.

Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes

"MuslimBro" wrote:
"Funzo" wrote:
but u can still earn a living if your poor cant you? by dat i mean get a good education nd living

Have enough food so you can survive, yes.
Have enough money to send your kids to school, no.

ok there was a story about a man who worked as a lumberjack and otherthings after school which paid for his learnin he stuck by himself and ended up as a highly respected nd well paid doctor his family were tooken out of pverty and is well known around the are i live in Kashmir nething is possible

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"Funzo" wrote:
"MuslimBro" wrote:
"Funzo" wrote:
but u can still earn a living if your poor cant you? by dat i mean get a good education nd living

Have enough food so you can survive, yes.
Have enough money to send your kids to school, no.

ok there was a story about a man who worked as a lumberjack and otherthings after school which paid for his learnin he stuck by himself and ended up as a highly respected nd well paid doctor his family were tooken out of pverty and is well known around the are i live in Kashmir nething is possible

but if every lumberjack trained to become a doctor, who'd cut dpwn the trees? and who'd clean the toilets. and without thieves, who would hire the police?

the only way an aggressive capitalist society functions (like in india, europe, america etc) is if there are LOADS of poor people. the faster the growth of the economy, the fewer people get richer (and the more poorer the 'average' people)

the only way ANY man-made system of government works if there are loads of poor people.

I heard a story about (i think) 11th/12th century. The Caliph in Africa at the time collected all the Zakat money, and gave it to the Caliph in Mid-East, because there was NOONE IN NEED OF IT IN AFRICA!! hello, where is the poorest region in the world today (even though it has the richest natural resources, diamonds etc) thats right, AFRICA!

sorry thats completely off-topic, and i don't even know if any of its correct, but its friday afternoon.

salam

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Only Islam respects women.

Kaafirs whoever they are only exploit women.

No wonder their women run away all the time.

Ayatollah rightly named America as "Great Satan".

"malik" wrote:
Only Islam respects women.

Kaafirs whoever they are only exploit women.

No wonder their women run away all the time.

yep, that'll be why no Muslim girls run away from home and no Muslim women get abused by their husband.

You're right in that Islam respects women. Unfortunately many Muslims do NOT.

Don't just do something! Stand there.

They are under the influence of Kaafir media thats why.

Ayatollah rightly named America as "Great Satan".

forced marriages are not influenced by the west.

"Noor" wrote:
forced marriages are not influenced by the west.

but to be honest, you could argue that they are influenced by non-Muslims (just not Western non-Muslims)

Don't just do something! Stand there.

forced marriages orginate from pak/india and bangladesh.

"Ya'qub" wrote:
"Funzo" wrote:
"MuslimBro" wrote:
"Funzo" wrote:
but u can still earn a living if your poor cant you? by dat i mean get a good education nd living

Have enough food so you can survive, yes.
Have enough money to send your kids to school, no.

ok there was a story about a man who worked as a lumberjack and otherthings after school which paid for his learnin he stuck by himself and ended up as a highly respected nd well paid doctor his family were tooken out of pverty and is well known around the are i live in Kashmir nething is possible

but if every lumberjack trained to become a doctor, who'd cut dpwn the trees? and who'd clean the toilets. and without thieves, who would hire the police?


im sorry i meant he did odd jobs he wasnt a full time lumberjack but did it here nd dere
salam

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"malik" wrote:
They are under the influence of Kaafir media thats why.

see dats why your mind is soo messed up how can a man be influenced 2 beat his wife up becuz of the kaafir media wots kaafir media got 2 do with anything?

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

Asalaam Alaikum,

I believe that poverty does play a huge part in the reason behind why girls are still getting buried alive, however the lack of education also contributes largely to this social disease.

The problem is there are [b]TWO[/b] dominant types of the 'village mentality'.

The first one is adopted by those people who have managed to alleviate poverty but still carry some backward thinking notions. For example, 'my daughter will get married to the man that I choose for her, this man will be a stand-up guy from the village I came from and it is not important if my daughter meets her future husband because it will work as I have chosen her partner.'

The second type, which is of course is the unfortunate one, is those people who cannot escape from the burdens of poverty and therefore can't afford any education for their children or themselves. For example 'my wife is pregnant and it's a girl. I wouldn't be able to support a daughter as she would not be able to support me or my family in the future. There is only one way to avoid additional suffering. We can't afford an abortion so we'll have to use the alternative.

I'm sure it's not that simple and it sounds brutal but thats how it is. There is no justification for acts of this nature and I fully condemn it, but the question is will this never-ending, reoccurring predicament continue to exist or is there a way eradicate it?

I suppose when there's a cure for poverty, then there maybe a way to remove this ill from society.

There are two sides to every story, but only one side to the truth.

I know dads who were so adament that they'd have only boys or a boy first. But after the birth of their daughters, they actually prefer their girls over their boys.

I also know of a lady who's had three boys, and she really, really wants a girl.

Girls generally are more merciful and compassionate to their parents - and absolute darlings to bring up (the good ones)

I'm personally not fussed, I'd like to have girls and boys - pref in equal numbers.

Cultural pressure to have a boy is leading some British women of Asian origin to travel to India for abortions to avoid having a girl.
Among them is Meena, whose name has been changed to protect her identity.

She describes what led her to do such a thing

As soon as you're pregnant everyone sits there and looks at you and constantly says: 'you're going to have a boy. We'll do this and we'll do that and we'll have celebrations'," she said.

But when the child is actually born and it's a girl, everyone around you feels disappointed - they say: 'well, never mind'."

Meena, an office worker in her 30s, is from a middle-class Punjabi family and was born and brought up in the UK.

She has three daughters under 13. But says she has been made to feel a failure for not producing a son.

Meena says Indian culture can still exert a huge pressure on women to have boys - to carry the family name and because girls are expensive - and that the pressure exists on Indian women living in Britain too.

"It is all up to the husband and it's usually the husband's side of the family who - you know - are putting the pressure on."

Meena was able to look up the best gynaecologists in India on the internet.

"Once we approached them, they seemed fairly understanding when they realised that we had three other daughters already and we wanted to know what the sex of this child was."

After Meena and her husband had the test in Delhi, they were told it was another girl. They thought the burden and pressure would be too much, so decided to terminate.

"Personally it was very upsetting for me. I didn't really want my other children to know, and I don't mean it in a bad way, but my husband seemed rather blasé about it.

I think I felt bad because I knew I shouldn't be doing this - for the reasons I was doing it - it wasn't nice."

"MuslimSister" wrote:
...But says she has been made to feel a failure for not producing a son.

Did you know that the sex of a child actually depends on the man, so blame him!

The last pair of chromosomes comes from the man, so if it's XY then it's a male and if it's XX then it's a female.

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