Forced Marriage vs Gay Daughter

s.b.f —

"I took off my hijab, and I threw it on the floor and my brother got really mad. It's the worst thing I could have done to offend my religion, aside from burn or tear the Koran.

"My mother, she kind of stood still, and started listening, and it was very liberating that she finally wanted to hear what I had to say.

"I told her about my sexuality and I said 'that's right, I do meet girls, and I love it' and I told her that she had been hurting me really badly, and I will never forgive her."

Now 20, Reviva - not her real name - recounts the day she finally came out to her family, her pupils flash and the flat, matter-of-fact delivery of her story-telling becomes briefly animated.

This, you realise, is the pivotal moment in a disturbing journey of self-discovery which encompasses family estrangement, exorcism, and attempted suicide.

Like hundreds of young men and women in Britain, Reviva was forced into marriage in spite of her sexual orientation, and still carries deep psychological scars from years of torment at the hands of her parents.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11613992

Forum

Bilan — Thu, 6 Jan 2011 - 00:47

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=You][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]Well, the Prophet L'ut was homosexual,so...[/quote]

Astaghfirullah. No he (as) wasn't.

People from his community were. He was there to warn them against such transgressions.

WHen they did not cease their activity after being told multiple times, the community was destroyed by God.[/quote]

which is where the Dead Sea comes into it?[/quote]

I dont think the people of Lut were drowned in the Red Sea, i think it was an earthquake..

Hajjar — Sat, 8 Jan 2011 - 20:12

assalamu alaikum,

when i was growing up talking about homosexuality was increasing, but it was still a lot more conservative than things are right now. Today society takes such a liberal view on it, most 11 yr olds know what it is. I remember this girl who was part of our group of friends in secondary school, i thght something was amiss with her. She was close friends with us all but she was far too cushy with 1 of my mates. i thght it was abnormal,but then felt guilty for thinking badly of her so i pushed it to the back of my head.

But some years on in during my first year of marriage, 1 of my friends (the one the suspected lesbian was cushy with) came round she told me the girl in question had come out as a lesbian and left home. I was shocked, but at the same time when i thght of all the things she had done i wasnt. I felt really sorry for her because her parents had forced her into a marriage with a cousin. i was informed he was not physically or mentally compatible for her, it was a bad match. I dont think her parents knew she had homosexual feelings, they just thght she would become "wild" go off with a boy and become the talk of town. Ironically she had done nothing, she'd be home before dark, they always knew where she was. They were just too strict with her. Did the marriage last no! They separated she left home, no one knows where she is.

Similarly she had no religious upbringing, islamic beliefs were taught on the fringe, just as it was in my house. Certain things we had to do, but we weren't to question why. I'm sure that did not help.

I think if kids are taught islamic values, morals, beliefs allowed to ask questions, in this way they will learn that homosexuality is a sin, and unnatural. They will not want to go near it.

If however all this is done yet the child grows up with homosexual feelings. its still best to continue to urge them towards the right path. Telling the child to get into a so called gay marriage is assisting them in sinning, and i'm sure the assistant would get a severe punishment for that.

p.s i can think of 3 muslims i know who are gay. 1 mentioned above, another who was a friend of a friend. he is so extrovert very very feminine in appearance if his parents dont know hes gay they must be really naive because the entire town knows, he's in a so called gay marriage, but his parents are trying to marry him off to his cousin. 3rd 1 sisters friends brother. He was married off emotionally blackmailed, but at the same time i am told he wanted kids. So maybe he got married for the children, who knows?. But hes not with his wife anymore they live separate lives yet not officially divorced.

Does it surprise me no.

the master cal… — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 16:42

Have heard somewhere that every time a man goes with another man or a woman goes with another woman the seventh heaven shakes. Even if u dont look at it from a religious point of view and just look at it from natures point view, its not natural, its not what nature intended. Although in this day and age it may look and feel natural because its always in ur face doesnt mean its right. B4 the 80s it would have been impossible to show gays and lesbians on tv but that does not mean there were no gays or lesbians around, it means that it was not getting promoted the the way it is in present times. Any muslim who is gay or lesbian is not a muslim, as obviously he or she does not believe in hell, because if they did believe in hell they would sacrifice there desires. May Allah have mercy on u and guide u.

TPOS — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 16:47

[quote=the master calligrapher]. Any muslim who is gay or lesbian is not a muslim, as obviously he or she does not believe in hell, because if they did believe in hell they would sacrifice there desires. May Allah have mercy on u and guide u.[/quote]

Welcome to The Revival 🙂

Saying they are not Muslims is wrong. They are committing a sin not leaving the faith. People lie, cheat, steal etc - doesn't mean they don't believe in hell and heaven or Islam it just means they are not controlling their desires. Same thing applies to homosexuality.

You — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 17:13

committing a sin makes a person sinful.

Saying something that is haraam is not haraam however does take the person out of the fold of Islam.

That can be homosexuality or it can be zina or it can be anything else.

So if they consider the act anything but haraam, then they do leave Islam.

the master cal… — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 17:31

when we die and if lucky enough 2 go 2 jannah there will b certain ranks in jannah, just like that sins are also ranked, so you cant really compare being a gay or lesbian 2 stealing and cheating.

You — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 17:37

haraam is haraam.

and saying or believing any haraam act (ie an act explicitly labeled in the qur'an as forbidden) is not haraam is kufr.

Not because of the act itself, but because saying or believing such means that you think the qur'an is wrong. This means you think either that God is wrong or that the qur'an is not the word of God.

Both are kufr.

TPOS — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 17:39

[quote=the master calligrapher]when we die and if lucky enough 2 go 2 jannah there will b certain ranks in jannah, just like that sins are also ranked, so you cant really compare being a gay or lesbian 2 stealing and cheating.[/quote]
Not comparing the seriousness of the sins but the fact that both are sins. Ofcourse, as mentioned above by "You", if the person thinks its fine to do and doesn't think they are committing a sin they obviously don't believe in what Islam says and so can be considered as non-Muslim.

TPOS — Sun, 9 Jan 2011 - 17:53

[quote=the master calligrapher]just 4 u THE POWER OF SILENCE
Under all speech that is good 4 anything, there lies a silence that is better.
Silence is as deep as Eternity, Speech is as shallow as time.[/quote]
😃