public opinon does make a diff

just ask the victims of bulimia and anerexia

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

public opinon does make a diff

just ask the victims of bulimia and anerexia

In these cases, public opinion matters if you want it to matter.

If you want to conform to what you think are social norms then public opinion will have a very big impact on you.

However, if you want to live your life how you want to live it, then public opinion isn't going to matter to you very much.

"ßeast" wrote:

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

public opinon does make a diff

just ask the victims of bulimia and anerexia

In these cases, public opinion matters if you want it to matter.

.

according to statistics most victims of bulimia and anerexia are young teenage girls

being a teenager is a stressful time - its a time when u want to feel accepted in society

thats why public opinion matters a lot - its sumin that a young kid cant control

there's numerous accounts of kids committing suicide in high school cos they werent accepted by their peers

so instead of focusing on the mentality 'u should be strong and not care what people think'

ppl should think twice before they talk

and Mr Admin

ur a heartless monster :evil:

Public opinion matters to some alot, to some less so, and to some
not at all.

However, in the case of bullemia and anorexia, there's little that people can do to 'watch what they say'. Being fat is a bad thing. There's no two ways about it. It is not healthy.

"ßeast" wrote:

However, in the case of bullemia and anorexia, there's little that people can do to 'watch what they say'. Being fat is a bad thing. There's no two ways about it. It is not healthy.

but beast

in over 60% of the cases

the victim ISNT EVEN FAT!!!

but goes down that path cos of sumin that someone said to them

There's probably already some issues there.

Should people stop saying that being fat is bad?

"ßeast" wrote:

Should people stop saying that being fat is bad?

people should choose their words carefully

it i was fat and someone called me a 'fat cow' to my face

i'd be devasted

Well that would be just mean.

Then you're asking people to be polite. Is that the same as chaniging public opinion or its impact?

Anyway, I should make clear that I'm mindlessly prolonging this exchange so that I can avoid working on an essay.

"Admin" wrote:

I would not call a person with bulimia or anorexia a victim. Just vain. They have mental issues.

If a dog had mental issues it would get put down.

That does nothing to shake off the 'heartless monster' accusation.

Lol.

Admin, you're so funny......

He knows what he's doing. He doesn't really think that.

Oops! So it wasn't that high quality then.

i fail to see the humour in anerexia

http://www.metrotimes.com/sb/66858/anorexia.jpg

and bulimea

http://home.att.net/~s.l.keim/bulimia.jpg

these disorders ARE mental conditions

usually triggered of by something someone said

i suppose mental conditions are only serious when the issue becomes closer to home

but then again - the mentality that - 'people with mental issues must be put down'

is prob the main reason why all mental issues in the muslim community is seen as a taboo and thats prob why ppl dont know how/where to seek help

well done in playing ur part in the above

as well as laughng at mental people

do u also find disabled people funny? what about poor people? fat people? etc etc

and regarding vanity:

whats so beautiful about anerexia?

did u even know that many VICTIMS of anrexia starve themselves because they have been sexually abused in the past and wish to make themselves unnattractive

are people of sexual abuse are not victims?

its also a control issue; some victims have been controlled too much and feel that controlling their food is the only way they can gain some independence

also body image and anerexia is INSECURITY issue - rather than a vanity thing

u need to find out more about this topic before u liken them to dogs :roll:

"Admin" wrote:

People who suffer abuise is different - they never did it to themselves. if the victim of abuse becomes anorexic - feel sympathy because of the abuse NOT the anorexia.

Insecurity about looks IS vanity.

.

but why? esp when the abuse made them that way.

for some sexual abuse triggered off anerexia

for others it was bullying

for some it was verbal abuse

for others it was issues that went on in their life

ONLY SOME ARE ANEREXIC COS OF SELF IMAGE REASONS - ONLY SOME DO IT COS THEY THINK THEY ARE UGLY

U need to look at ALL the reasons why people do what they do .

btw insecurity is due to low self esteem and issues with body image

vanity is to have a excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others

THERE IS A MASSIVE DIFFERENCE

and u know what. since u find humour in mental problems, disability, poor and fat people.

its pointless wasting my time with such a heartless monster

and reg druggies: yeh if they've had a crap life then they have my sypathy

Admin, come on.

"Admin" wrote:

I think I am being ostracised because I admitted to the trolling.

We still love you. I think you have a valid point of view for the most part but anorexia can be severe, dangerous and to those around an anorexic, very disturbing, and the "pull yourself together" trick won't always work.

Ok, can I just say that I agree with admin, partially.

Anorexics do bring on their problems themselves, like druggies, and people who smoke. They have a choice and are not being forced to do it unlike people with other 'mental problems' such as paranoid schizophrenics who can do certain things without even realising, these are the people with 'real' mental problems.

And yes anorexia and bulimia is classified as a mental disorder, only because it is in the DSM and ICD. However when you compare mental disorders such as schizophrenia to anorexia/bulimia, they are in a completely different league. Homosexuality was classified as a disease (mental problem) before, and the only reason it is not classified as one now is because it's been removed from the DSM and ICD.

Yes, public opinion does matter, esp. when you're a teenager and want to fit in with your mates but you have to know when someone is lying/joking and when someone is telling the truth. Most of the people who are anorexics were not fat in the first place but they chose to believe someone and starve themselves. I am thin, and if someone tells me that I'm fat I won't believe them..... why? because I know that I'm not. People who choose to believe something that isn't true must have some other problems, and they are not certainly a 'victim'. Would you say someone who has been diagnosed with lung cancer a 'victim', when they have been smoking heavily for over 30 years.... maybe you would but I wouldn't.

I've got a mate who's got a belly and I sometimes call him fat and we have a joke about it. Even if he is fat, he is not going out and staving himself so I can't see how someone who isn't fat can then believe someone who has said that they are fat and go and starve themselves.

I have got classmates (most of whom are girls) and I sometimes call them fat, some of them take it seriously but they're not starving themselves. And even if they did, I would not say that they are a 'victim'.

"Admin" wrote:

At the same time they do not become untouchable if they are in those situations. They are still people. Can still be laughed at.

Possibly. A lot of people who wouldn't consider mental illness funny would still think it fine to make a joke about schizophrenia or psychosis and hope nobody in the room was so close to it as to take offence. I like your tendency to lighten things up (so please excuse me). But those things are more obviously linked to biological disposition or a severe upset to the system. Eating disorders are subtler, you wouldn't be as quick to guess if someone had one. I've recently suspected a friend has eating issues and the denial is so strong that it's become a sore point for me too. I don't raise it with him any more because I just want him to take some encouragement from my concern but not make it a big thing. He does seem to be eating more lately so perhaps it was a fad. I also know someone who had to be committed for a while because of anorexia and a bunch of neuroses. She holds a good job which would seem to be a benchmark of social adjustment, but that says more about her work than her character, she's a nightmare to get along with. So the impression I have is that it's a very touchy subject and I would be worried about the effect of bold humour. That might just be a personal over-cautious response.

MuslimBro,

If you have a particular charm so that people know you're messing around or even helping, that's well and good. But unless you are absolutely never serious you wouldn't generally go about as if everything you say will be water off a duck's back. You can take a measure of responsibility for how people react (and no doubt you do).

"Mr Honey's Day Out" wrote:

"Admin" wrote:

At the same time they do not become untouchable if they are in those situations. They are still people. Can still be laughed at.

Possibly. A lot of people who wouldn't consider mental illness funny would still think it fine to make a joke about schizophrenia or psychosis and hope nobody in the room was so close to it as to take offence. I like your tendency to lighten things up (so please excuse me). But those things are more obviously linked to biological disposition or a severe upset to the system. Eating disorders are subtler, you wouldn't be as quick to guess if someone had one. I've recently suspected a friend has eating issues and the denial is so strong that it's become a sore point for me too. I don't raise it with him any more because I just want him to take some encouragement from my concern but not make it a big thing. He does seem to be eating more lately so perhaps it was a fad. I also know someone who had to be committed for a while because of anorexia and a bunch of neuroses. She holds a good job which would seem to be a benchmark of social adjustment, but that says more about her work than her character, she's a nightmare to get along with. So the impression I have is that it's a very touchy subject and I would be worried about the effect of bold humour. That might just be a personal over-cautious response.

MuslimBro,

If you have a particular charm so that people know you're messing around or even helping, that's well and good. But unless you are absolutely never serious you wouldn't generally go about as if everything you say will be water off a duck's back. You can take a measure of responsibility for how people react (and no doubt you do).

I agree with you.

It’s very easy to dismiss serious mental disorders by stating that people ‘bring it on themselves’. However, eating disorders has very little to do with food…. some people turn to alcohol to deal with pain, others turn to drugs, and food is also used in the same way.

We only see the ‘food issue’. However, deeper issues are hidden away.

People who suffer from anorexia spend the day counting calories so they do not have time to think about other issues…people who suffer from bulimia feel ‘relief’ when they bring their food back up.

People deal with pain in many different ways. According to millions of people all over the world, eating disorders are one way dealing with problems.

A few friends of mine from high school were bulimic. And it had nothing to do with ‘vanity’ or ‘losing weight’.

Anorexia/Bulimia is one of the most severe mental disorders because it has the highest number of deaths associated with it.

And sadly, as with most mental disorders there’s little understanding, sympathy and empathy in society. It is also stigmatised and seen as a taboo.

...But back to the topic. The self fulfilling prophecy (esp in Education) again confirms how important public opinion is.

I think its clear that certain people ARE affected by public opinion, and I think its also clear (by anorexia & bulimia, rude aunties, the American high-school gunmen and many other examples) that it is a NEGATIVE thing that people are affected. If people where focused on trying to please Allah (swt) Alone, then many of these issues simply wouldn't exist.

I'm not blaming the victims in the slightest, I think that all blame should fall on Shaitan, who makes terrible, painful things seem fair and good to us. This is all part of the test that is life.

I think what we can learn from this is to try to be affected by people's opinions of us less and less insha'Allah. Of course I understand that saying this is different from acting on it, but I still think that it is a positive step.

One more thing: [b]Don't Judge me!![/b] (that was a joke)

Salaam

Admin, it seems to me that your argument of anorexia and bullemia are forms of self abuse, is based on the idea that they are inflicted voluntarily.

As I understand it anorexia comes about due a distorted self body image. What the person (involuntarily) sees isn't whats actually there. The perception is misaligned with the reality. Some people are convinvced they are overweight/unhealthily fat whilst every other human observer is convinced they are dangerously underweight.

The anorexic perhaps is like the person who falls asleep by a river. In their sleep they dream they are thirsty and actually run around searching for something to quech their thirst, not realising that in reality their lips are so close to the water.

It is not always easy to convince a sleeping person he is asleep.

So would you say that a druggie or a person who smokes does their act involuntarily, after all they are addicted. Nicotine is said to be more addictive then heroin so why no sympathy to smokers.