Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!

Angel —

This thread is for jokes, poems or any inspirational stories (hint hint muslim kuri!)... so here goes......

Generous lawyer

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Forum

Dave — Sun, 12 Feb 2006 - 15:23

lol gotcha - I think I know what you are talking about... sorta looks like a longer version of a nuns habit right?

iRazor — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 - 23:13

[quote="naj"][quote="Augustus"]lol gotcha - I think I know what you are talking about... sorta looks like a longer version of a nuns habit right?[/quote]

looks like dis :

[img]http://www.alkhaircqw.com/products/jibab03n-sm.jpg[/img][/quote]

YIKES,

THE FLOATING JILBABI I saw
Scared the living sh.it outta me so i ran outta the door.

When i Came back in after an hour,
I realised i wee'd in my pants so i had to take a shower.

Looked at the computer screen, there she was again,
I got scared more, so I rang my friend (fresh prince).

Assured me he did that it was not real,
Cudnt help it, everytime i looked, it made me sqeel.

So i got my mummy to come and hold my hand,
While i write this poem for you guys, hoping my situation you understand.

Now I must go, mummy's gonna tuck me in bed,
N assure me again, the truth fresh prince has said.

Peace to you all, I must go bye-bye,
P.s. My mummy says Hi.

iRazor — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 - 23:25

[quote="naj"]lol U joka......did you just make that up right now ?[/quote]

Well after I called my mummy, who told me the SCARY floating jilbabi picture u posted aint real, yes.

iRazor — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 - 22:15

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]razor ur poems make me laugh

they very very FUNNY-u have talent

how about writing an ode to the brilliance of LilSis? :wink:[/quote]

Nice to see I have a fan. Im 😃 .

I need a topic which inspires me. As soon as im inspired, ill be back with another Edition of the "Razoems" 😂

In the meantime, write poems people. Saadia, how long a lil poem take? go for it, write one already.

LilSis, how about You write an ode to ya own brilliance? 😃

Mayb you two can then inspire me to write another poem?

[size=7]Ill Probably write a poem takin the mick outta your poems, but im inspired none the less right?[/size]

iRazor — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 - 23:22

[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam

:shock: ryte now theres no way am writing a poem, lol joke
seriously i just cant think creatively enough for words to rhyme!![/quote]

Lol, U dunt need to be creative, im as plain as a hawian wedding (wait, i mean....u kno). You jus need inspiration, like SHEESHAAAAA...

Or drugs or alcohol, whichever is your sin of choice :twisted:

Joke.

Wait,..... i think you've ispired me, Ill post my latest "Razoem"/Poem as soon as im dun.

iRazor — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 - 23:40

To those who fear poetry
_____________________
========

I see people fear expressing in rhyme,
I never fear, even if i dunt have a nickel or dime.

I realise, why be boring and blabber bout things normally,
When I can blabber, more creatively using a lil poetry.

I see fear, as a character of the ahlul weak,
those who hide their real inner feelings when they speak.

If you are vocal, do it thru poetry,
For even if you offend, atleast you did it poetically.

In poetry, forgivness I see,
The same forgivness, which, so many of us seek.

When you seek forgivness from a loved one or enemy,
or jus a human being, worldly or heavenly,

Write them a poem, funny or sad,
when you see them smile, it'll make you think "I'M BAAAAADDD".

Poetry can be deep, as deep as the oceans,
Or, it can be as shallow, as Razor's emotions.

When you wish to inspire, do it through poetry,
when you wish to thought provoke, again, use poetry.

Poetry can make you cry, or be funny,
Poetry makes the world go round, not money.

============

Watcha Fink? 8)

star — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 - 23:52

Impressing........

I see talent, I see fame.........Razor

U know you should get them published.. lol 😂

ever considered doing that ? 😛 [size=7]lol yea rite[/size]

iRazor — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 00:46

[quote="naj"]Impressing........

I see talent, I see fame.........Razor

U know you should get them published.. lol 😂

ever considered doing that ? 😛 [b]lol yea rite[/b][/quote]

So you saying you like, or you dislike?
im confused

Saadia Khan — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 15:16

salaam well here goes

iam not really in the mood to write a poem
(just coz razors really good at his razoems)

it doesnt mean we all have an active and creative brain
were not really all the same
and this poems really rubbish am gonna hang my head in shame!!! ?

star — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 15:18

[quote="razor"][So you saying you like, or you dislike?
im confused[/quote]

Grr.... its good Cos they're funny and abit der

nice one Saadia 😉

iRazor — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 15:32

[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam well here goes

iam not really in the mood to write a poem
(just coz razors really good at his razoems)

it doesnt mean we all have an active and creative brain
were not really all the same
and this poems really rubbish am gonna hang my head in shame!!! :?[/quote]

LOL, not bad, see you can make words rhyme, Practise makes perfect.

Maybe you shud write bout a certain topic nex tym.

I is a lil bored right now, Might work on one later on.

iRazor — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 16:25

I am back, with my latest version of the Razoems.
__________________
The war with the Nafs
__________________

=====

They say you cant live with it, n you cant live without it,
Sounds jus like the ideal life partner,
The Nafs I beleive is the real fight starter.

The root of all evil,
The cause of Tru Pain,
Seems my every attack against it ends in vein.

The tool of Iblis, which he utilises well,
I must Jihad against it if im to stay outta hell.

Ignorance I must Fight, which lives in me within,
In trouble I am, for I know not wher to begin.

I pray every day, long and hard,
Seeking protection, for I kno his servent, he duz not disgard.

"Servent" here, being a keyword,
I must be the worst servent, of which one has ever heard.

Weep i do, in the late hours of the night,
Askin myself, whether Ready I am, with my lord to Unite.

Asking, if the Angel came knocking this very minute,
would I beg for another Minute, or go willingly, how would my soul diminish?

Knowing full and well, the punishment I could not bare,
Then Blindly commit sin, how do I dare?

Knowing a single swear would bring me 70 years of hell,
No choice I would have, in there I would have to dwell.

So every night I look my nafs in the eye, n speak to it man to man,
Every night I tell my nafs, by morning be gone.

I awake next morning, Fajr having missed,
N realise, my nafs, to me has straight dissed.

I hear loud and clear, it aint going without a fight.
So my every trip to the mosque, takes out of my nafs another bite.

But when I commit a sin, back to square one I go,
When will this cycle of death halt? I really do not know

I go to sleep every night, feeling Ive sold the heavens in exchange for this world,
People who think they know me, tell me im pious, I think its the most absurd thing ive ever heard.

The people's acknowledgement, I really do not need,
The lord acknowledgement, I do seek indeed.

Indeed I do love many scholors,
yet i really dunno, y im always out for them dollars.

From this day forth, with my soul i've made a pact,
To fight away my nafs, that indeed is a fact.

I will never give up, until my dieing breath,
Until my body, is laid to rest.

I will forever fight, the internal war with my self,
Until I get an apology, from Shaitaan himself.

until that day, I will throw stones at the devil,
And chase him around my garden, with my shovel.

I will use evry weapon I find,
Using 5, even 10 weapons at a time.

While my own battle is going on, others, help I will,
Together we will come, and create a war we shall.

Unless we die, with our lips saying the lords name,
Our entire battle against the nafs, shall die along with us, in vein.

So die not a death of vein, o people of the earth,
For a death in vein, was not the reason of your birth.

Look within yourselves, for the meaning of your life,
and for that meaning to accomplish, everyday you must strive.

Sign off Razor does, with this message, very short.
Comtemplate, Why on this Earth, was your soul brought?

___________________________________________________

Watcha fink, its my deepest work yet 8)

Dunt make fun of me pleez :oops:

star — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 16:29

now that was excellent mashALLAH.....

no joke....big diff between that and the floating jilbaab lol.....U shud keep within the line.

seriously you do have talent.

how long did that take to make up ?

iRazor — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 16:45

[quote="naj"]now that was excellent mashALLAH.....

no joke....big diff between that and the floating jilbaab lol.....U shud keep within the line.

seriously you do have talent.

how long did that take to make up ?[/quote]

Wat was wrong with the floating jilbabi one 😂

Within the line, did i get outta hand with the jilbabi one? come on it was funny!!!

This took me the better part of 40 mins or so.

star — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 16:52

[quote="razor"]Wat was wrong with the floating jilbabi one 😂

Within the line, did i get outta hand with the jilbabi one? come on it was funny!!!

This took me the better part of 40 mins or so.[/quote]

err...hello.......

course it waz outta line but yea was fuuny 😂 jus de startin outta line

thats quick, it wudda took me yonks.

Saadia Khan — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 20:01

salaam

MashALLAH that was excellent D
Bravo!! Encore

LilSis is ryte it wud be nice to see that published as it relates to everybody!!

100man — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 22:34

I like the decent spirit of the thing. As a word of warning it is not often appropriate to do the Yoda thing unless you are parodying Yoda:

"While my own battle is going on, others, help I will
Together we will come, and create a war we shall."

I was impressed by this:

"Look within yourselves, for the meaning of your life,
and for that meaning to accomplish, everyday you must strive."

You did it again though. Why not, "and to accomplish that meaning".

C+/D- Excellent potential.

iRazor — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:56

Lol, why thank you people, nice to see you enjoyed it, wasn't as good as saadia's poem but i tried.

100man, the yoda thing, part of poetry, or a part of my poetry atleast, some say im as cool as yoda 😂 I did it cuz it help when making things rhyme, and it sound cool too

8)

Seraphim — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 20:53

[b][color=indigo]Sleepy sorrow as I wake
I lay me down, a big mistake
My eyelids close, my dreams are near
The next step is, fighting my fears
I cant control what I see
For your fate in life, rests with me
When Darkness falls,
Listen for the angels call,
Am i too lost to be saved,
Is salvation beyond this grave[/color][/b]

Saadia Khan — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 19:28

Al-Qamaru

I am looking at the light
Nur al-qamar is showen to me
And it is shining at my face
The Messenger divided it into two pieces
with the power from Our Majesty

No person on the earth could not see this miracle,
O Mercy of All Mankind, no one is to be compared with you
Thoughts are coming into my mind
O Rasûlûllâh, nor is the moon more beautiful than you
Your face shine as the fullmoon,
O Beloved of Allah
O Beloved of Abdullah, Amina and Halîma
O Beloved of the entire mankind
O my Beloved
When will the day come when I will see you?

Ya Rasulullah, what if I loose all my wealth and family?
What if I become blind and deaf?
What if I am taken the blessing of having
my eyes, arms, hands, legs, feet and my body?
When I can't see you, What can I use all of this for?

Al-hamdu lillah, I thank The Almighty Lord,
For all these blessings;
that I can read about you and see your home with my sight
that I can recite praises for you with my voice
that I can listen the praises with my ears
that I write praises for you with my hands
that I can walk into your home with my feets

My soul has open its doors towards my heart and mind
A bridge has been established to connect them

My soul was reciting
La ilaha Illah

Now with the blessing of Allah
My soul, heart and mind is reciting nothing else
but praises to you, HabibAllah (SAAW)

The Moon is invisible now, ya RasulAllah
The shining moon has disappeared
but you, my master, ya RasulAllah
You will never disappear
from the soul of my heart
from the soul of my soul

Even the love wants you O HabibAllah (SAAW)
As long as I've got a soul, ya Rasul Allah (SAAW)
Till that day I will be loving you

As-salâtu wa as-salâmu 'alayka yâ Sayyidi yâ Muhammad
ar-Rasûlullâhi al-habîb
O Allah bless our beloved Muhammad, O Allah shower mercy upon his family and companions and those who follows him

Wa allallahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa

iRazor — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 - 19:30

Another Razoem, this time inspired by the "Poety Challenge" thread -

------------------------------------

In the name of my lord I start,
Hoping, in his name, from this world I depart.

I wake with the lords name on my mind,
Hoping, the whole day is spent in rememberance, of the divine.

Hoping the lords mercy, upon me does shower,
And, that the mercy and blessing allow me to flower

As beautiful as a rose, I wish my heart to be,
A pure heart, I wish for my lord, in me to see.

---------------

8)