[color=indigo]salaam

yep have that, we had ppl like walking newspapers used to report every single incident bout other pplz children, so and so's daughter needs to cover her hair but her own daughter used to remove her scarf once out of sight of ppl who knew her, thnakfully iv moved away to an area where evryone doesnt know every aspect of our livs so no -one can judge us

wa-salaam[/color]

Salam

"asiansweet" wrote:

do u have nosy parents that chat about you to other people but they dnt look at their own children

Yes. All the time. Particularly women.

They condemn other people's children:

" Look at that girl. She behaves like a right slut. She has a secret boyfriend. Her parents dont even know what she gets up to. Look at her dress. It shows how loose she is. She can't even speak her own language. She is always missing collage. She is never there to study. Only thing she is into is fornication. She is always on the phone to her boyfriend. Her mother must have spoilt her when she was young. Mother is a right cow as well. She always defends her daughter. Cant she see that her daughter is up to no good. Her family is disgraced anyway. They have no honour at all. Ever since she grew up, she brought shame on her family. Its all their own fault. They were letting her go out alone. Society is so bad nowadays. Cant they parents see. Are they so blind. Its so dangersous for girls to mix with boys. No wonder she turned into a bad girl. Its too late now. Her parents know that she is out of their control. She is not going to get good marriage proposals now. She doesnt deserves descent boys. Kangery."

And so on and on.

Omrow

Salaam

Once someone tried to slander me to my parents …but dad has shut them up big time, after that no one has even dared to say one word to my parents about my sisters or myself.

However, if my brother is ever seen out of school in school hours, it doesn’t take long for my mum to know about it.

I’m a rubbish cook, I can’t sew, I can’t speak my mother tongue, I’m in part time employment, I’m nearly always out, I’m too fussy at times …..And this obviously concerns many aunties. But I always think that as long as the people I love and care about are happy with me…who cares what some random auntie thinks of me.

Also, aunties should know that if one looks down at others and backchat those who they think are misguided…Allah (swt) may take away their faults and give them to them or their own children.

Many women who have looked down at the anti Islamic activities of other people’s children have had their own kids do the same…

However, if one does see someone else’s children doing wrong and they’re 101% of the facts…I do think the parents have a right to know, however this should be handled with care, and backchatting them to others is NOT the answer.

Wasalaam

Yeh thas all the asian housewives do, cook, clean, make sure the kids are fed, then start the backbiting, so and so's so and so did such and such.

Once an auntie said summin about me, which wasnt true, it got me angry, so i took it upon myself to let the auntie gee know that her little angel of a daughter is actually a little whore. I felt it was my duty, seems the auntie gee's too busy sortin her daughter out now, vachari auntie gets no time to backbite anyone else, shame,.

"razor" wrote:

so i took it upon myself to let the auntie gee know that her little angel of a daughter is actually a little whore.,.

Tit for tat? :?

"razor" wrote:

Once an auntie said summin about me, which wasnt true, it got me angry, so i took it upon myself to let the auntie gee know that her little angel of a daughter is actually a little whore. I felt it was my duty, seems the auntie gee's too busy sortin her daughter out now, vachari auntie gets no time to backbite anyone else, shame,.

whoaaa! :shock: unless ur perfect urself, I dont u should be talkin bad about sumone else. You should always point out a persons good charctersitics not their bad ones. Houswives gossip alottt, its annoying. isnt that ironic though, aunties who talk about other peoples kids' have the worst kids and biggest issues...it is a shame!

"MS" wrote:

Tit for tat?

"RoSeAnGeL" wrote:

whoaaa! :shock: unless ur perfect urself, I dont u should be talkin bad about sumone else. You should always point out a persons good charctersitics not their bad ones. Houswives gossip alottt, its annoying. isnt that ironic though, aunties who talk about other peoples kids' have the worst kids and biggest issues...it is a shame!

The way i put it sounds like a case of tit for tat, but dam, sum1 had to tell, cuz this female was upto some really really naughty no good, It was either shut up, dunt tell her mother, let it continue, n one all hell breaks loose, ....or, tell her mother, and let her deal with it, i didnt tell every auntie gee in a 5 mile radius, i told one auntie gee who can be trusted to tell the mother of this young woman.

My job was done...SupeRazor to the rescue, ya Digg

dont ive people reason to talk, simple

and if u knw u aint the wrong, let em say what they want, simple yet again

"razor" wrote:

Once an auntie said summin about me, which wasnt true, it got me angry, so i took it upon myself to let the auntie gee know that her little angel of a daughter is actually a little whore. I felt it was my duty, seems the auntie gee's too busy sortin her daughter out now, vachari auntie gets no time to backbite anyone else, shame,.

Brother I hope your not feeling proud of yourself, defending your character in one thing, however your comments are nothing but a reactionary spiteful jib, and if true what you said about your cousin, then who needs enemies when she has a cousins like Razor to look after her!

Those who cover up and overlook the shortcomings of others will have their own sins covered up by Allah (swt) in this world and the hereafter.

"(*_Khamzat" wrote:

"razor" wrote:

Once an auntie said summin about me, which wasnt true, it got me angry, so i took it upon myself to let the auntie gee know that her little angel of a daughter is actually a little whore. I felt it was my duty, seems the auntie gee's too busy sortin her daughter out now, vachari auntie gets no time to backbite anyone else, shame,.

Brother I hope your not feeling proud of yourself, defending your character in one thing, however your comments are nothing but a reactionary spiteful jib, and if true what you said about your cousin, then who needs enemies when she has a cousins like Razor to look after her!

Lol, u got me wrong, she wasnt my actual cousin thankfully, if she was, i wudnt hav to tell my auntie bout it, ill deal with it maself, giv her a good telling off.

This was sum1 who lives a few streets away. Basically the auntie gee told my mum her daugter saw me taking drugs, which, when my mum told me i started laughing, n then evryone in ma house started laffing, long story, neway.... Then my sister (whom i told to keep away from this young womanin question) told my mum that auntie gee's daughter takes drugs, and does, other things also, then my mum made me tell the aunty gee's sister, to tell the aunty about her daughter.

I was merely doing my duty, if i didnt tell, this girl wold continue pissin about, takin drugs etc n one day she'd prolly go physco, rather her parents kno now so they can deal with it.

Ya Digg

"razor" wrote:

I was merely doing my duty, if i didnt tell, this girl wold continue pissin about, takin drugs etc n one day she'd prolly go physco, rather her parents kno now so they can deal with it.

Ya Digg

And how is this girl now?

The more I learn about you Razor the more I’m starting to digg ya.

Gossiping and backbiting I have no patience for, backbiting is a big sin- I said to someone who backbited me, and when I confronted them and said would you eat my flesh? He didn’t understand!

Muslims should be aware of this.

so very true Khamzat

one should not get involved in affairs that are of no concern to them

especially if one is acting out of revenge or hatred

"Fresh Prince" wrote:

so very true Khamzat

one should not get involved in affairs that are of no concern to them

especially if one is acting out of revenge or hatred

Freshi not for the first time but I agree with you

bro carry on like that and im gona have to think of a naickname for u

so far im thinkin somat to do with having bad taste.......arsenal, golfs...

salaam
Alhamdulilah i dont live in a neighbourhood like that!! all non- muslims apart from 2 familys who tend to keep themselves to them selves. ? thou i dont mind means dont have to pop across the road with a bowl full of salan to give to aunty jee!!

but i do find it annoyin when people think they have alot to say. the aunties around my sisters generation were like that my sister felt abit of pressure, thou my parents always had trust and she didnt have nething to worry bout, but still she didnt want to give ne body the opportunity to say ne thing to them!! she now tends to feel that me and my younger siblings are more "free" in a sense to what we want!! twisted

[color=magenta]im so annoyed, my family have been at the centre of some major gossip and im not a happy person, bascially we moved out from our old area three years ago n iv grown up in that area, but iv only visited there like 6/7 times n every1 complains i dont visit there often, why becuz every1 just gossips abt every1,

nt looking down on nobody but ppl there have no ambitions wht so ever n now thy started spreading rumours abt each other, so so went out with x number of guys, they are into drug dealing and major crime,

now i found out that they decided to start calling my family names like my older bros called bin ladens right hand man cuz he startd practicing n has grown a beard mashaAllah im proud of him, they say to their its abt time my oldr sis gt marrid when she just turned 22, n they say that me n my other bro are sad cuz we are into their studies, n my parents are called strict jus cuz us children dont "live life" well to be honest i dont gv a damn wht they say im glad my parents didnt let us get out of hand but these sort of things do hurt cuz iv knwn these ppl all my life[/color]

Exquisite I knew some people were sad but not to the extent that they would do that. The best advice would be to ignore them.

Btw do you have to visit your old area, would it be a problem if you didn't?

I also moved out from my old area 4 years ago and I think it was for the good. Alot of the boys I knew and hanged out with are now into criminal activities and I feel sorry for them. I don't visit my old area and I don't intend to but I've got some 'good' friends from that area who I see now and then.

[color=magenta]i dont have to visit but obviously its just nice to visit them cuz iv knwn al these ppl for my whole life but to be honest i would never call them mates, sometimes when they come to my hse thy are like in bengali did ur love for th old area go?what love?my older sis n younger sis are quite naive in the sense that they dont wnt to accept the down fall of the old area, my older bros both loved that place but now lik they cme home n tell stuff abt their old mates n theyre like thankfully we moved out, some even sel their own family for thir drug habits one guy sold his sis passport for his next drug fix[/color]

I lived in my old area for 11 years and got to know some people and got 'close' with them. But when I see them now I you know talk for about a minute and I'm off on my way. My bro also loved the old area and let's just say he got 'influenced' quite easily.

Yeah it's amazing in a sad way to see what people do for drugs, did you read this weeks eastendlife, bengali drug dealers in stepney.

[color=magenta]i know its so sad, makes me so upset, n u knw wht the girls are jst as bad as the boys, dont get me wrong im not saying my family r perfect like we have had our good n bad times but our parents had enough of a hold on us for us not to ge too out of hand theres so many stuff going on, like these guys stabbbed this other dude becuz he looked at them the wrong way n his was after jummah namaz n they pushed an old lady outta of the way cuz she was trying to stop them, but they even spread rumours abt their friends, thy criticise my parents jus cuz thy want us kids to get a decent education n get somewhere in life[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i dont have to visit but obviously its just nice to visit them cuz iv knwn al these ppl for my whole life but to be honest i would never call them mates, sometimes when they come to my hse thy are like in bengali did ur love for th old area go?what love?my older sis n younger sis are quite naive in the sense that they dont wnt to accept the down fall of the old area, my older bros both loved that place but now lik they cme home n tell stuff abt their old mates n theyre like thankfully we moved out, some even sel their own family for thir drug habits one guy sold his sis passport for his next drug fix[/color]

Exquisite unfortunately that is the downfall with Bengali communities- I know of people who will talk and gossip all day long without ever reaching a solution and trying to help their neighbours who have befallen. That is why the heroin epidemic has reached new levels in effecting the youth, because Bengalis are very reluctant to take action but willing to gossip day and night :evil: . This is only the mindset of a view- one reason why my father decided to move out of Mile End.

One of my neighbours, a Bengali sister who married a African brother- her close and distance relatives have launch vicious campaign to smear and backbite her at every opportunity- but Alhamdulilah we have great neighbours (Pakistani, Somalian, Algerian and Bengali) who have supported this sister, and our local Markaz Imam has been working constantly with her parents to make them accept the brother and look pass his colour.

Allah will hold those responsible for their actions, it’s their sin and not mines.

"(*_Shazan" wrote:

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i dont have to visit but obviously its just nice to visit them cuz iv knwn al these ppl for my whole life but to be honest i would never call them mates, sometimes when they come to my hse thy are like in bengali did ur love for th old area go?what love?my older sis n younger sis are quite naive in the sense that they dont wnt to accept the down fall of the old area, my older bros both loved that place but now lik they cme home n tell stuff abt their old mates n theyre like thankfully we moved out, some even sel their own family for thir drug habits one guy sold his sis passport for his next drug fix[/color]

Exquisite unfortunately that is the downfall with Bengali communities- I know of people who will talk and gossip all day long without ever reaching a solution and trying to help their neighbours who have befallen. That is why the heroin epidemic has reached new levels in effecting the youth, because Bengalis are very reluctant to take action but willing to gossip day and night :evil: . This is only the mindset of a view- one reason why my father decided to move out of Mile End.

One of my neighbours, a Bengali sister who married a African brother- her close and distance relatives have launch vicious campaign to smear and backbite her at every opportunity- but Alhamdulilah we have great neighbours (Pakistani, Somalian, Algerian and Bengali) who have supported this sister, and our local Markaz Imam has been working constantly with her parents to make them accept the brother and look pass his colour.

Allah will hold those responsible for their actions, it’s their sin and not mines.

[color=magenta]jazakallah for the nice reply brother, the thng is i knew all of this xisted becuz somehow all the girls used to tell me their versions of events of wht happened, i was speaking to one the other day n she just gave me the low down n i didnt wna hear, mum also asked m if someone was into drug dealing,

i knw i shouldnt let it get to me but the fact is whn they start slandering my family it really mke my blood boil i wonder wht they say abt me, but honestly sometimes i thnk i cant handle it[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]jazakallah for the nice reply brother, the thng is i knew all of this xisted becuz somehow all the girls used to tell me their versions of events of wht happened, i was speaking to one the other day n she just gave me the low down n i didnt wna hear, mum also asked m if someone was into drug dealing,

i knw i shouldnt let it get to me but the fact is whn they start slandering my family it really mke my blood boil i wonder wht they say abt me, but honestly sometimes i thnk i cant handle it[/color]

Afa it would be best if you don’t concern yourself in answering and defending false accusations- this is how family feuds start! Insh’Allah just ignore them.....

[color=magenta]i think il hav to do that, i dont wna fall out with ppl cuz of hear say but so long as my family n friends no i aint doing none of that rubbish then i will be fine, also Allah SWT knws my intention, its just this week im so disappointed in some ppl i found out a bunch of 12 year old muslim girls stole clothes on a school trip to canterbury n my friend had to call one of their parents up to come to a meeting n her mother couldnt believe it, it was organised crime around 20-25of them doing it, everythng jus piled up thats why im so frustrated n upset[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i think il hav to do that, i dont wna fall out with ppl cuz of hear say but so long as my family n friends no i aint doing none of that rubbish then i will be fine, also Allah SWT knws my intention, its just this week im so disappointed in some ppl i found out a bunch of 12 year old muslim girls stole clothes on a school trip to canterbury n my friend had to call one of their parents up to come to a meeting n her mother couldnt believe it, it was organised crime around 20-25of them doing it, everythng jus piled up thats why im so frustrated n upset[/color]

It would be best if offer the offenders naseeha (friendly advice) and avoid those who want to backbite you and your family. I worry about what direction the muslim youth (male and female) are heading…

[color=magenta]so do i, its like im not that old only 17 but like say like 2/3 years ago, wot girls do now i wouldnt be able to believe but its like i dont get shocked no more im so used to seeing so many weirld/dodgy stuff going on its become a norm for me, my older sis is so oblivious to so concepts i mention to her cuz she cant believ shes like in her days she never heard of this,like only last year some of us used to sit to next to girls with hang overs [/color]