Marrying a Relative

Seraphim —

I remember this thread a while ago...

So what do you guys think?

About the idea of marrying a relative?

Do you think it would make it easier if you had known them since you were kids? Or would that make it harder to accept them as your partner?

Strictly speaking in Islam your NOT permitted to marry anyone in the immediate family so we're most likely talking cousins etc.

Share your thoughts

Forum

MuslimSisLilSis — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:19

[quote="St George"]beware of marring cousins...

6 fingers in da next generation :wink:[/quote]

:twisted: 😂

Medarris — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:22

actually the theory of increased mutations or deformities is over blown.
I have a friend who is a medic at oxford and he goes that the big hoo haa abt increased chances of deformities are in reality so small as to be not scientifically worthy of mention.

The explanation we given in schools is simplified. Abnormalities are determined by multiple number of genes not just one. So if parents have same grandparents it doesnt mean they have a greater risk of messed up kids.

SubhanALLAH ALLAH declares the first cousins pure, I believe my ALLAH and the Quran over these godless atheist scientists.

You — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:24

[quote="Med"]I personally think cousin marriages are best, they keep the family together and increase the happiness in family. But sometimes it happens that no1 in family is ideal or it may be that u just click with some1 who is not a relative.

The importatnt thing is deen, nothing else matters much compared to deen.

But its true, in our MP culture they totally hate an outside bride, (im chattin abt back home), now in uk its more accepted but back home in village, even now my uncles were saying how they want me to marry into the family, ie their daughters. Deen is most important[/quote]

best?!?

Now I understand that there is nowt wrong with them, they are hardly best.

I do discount the 'reason' that says that there will be more defects, as that is based on unsound scientific info, which assumes human DNA is far more diverse than it is.

However one divorce will wreck a whole family. It may lead a more petty divorces, and family fueds.

A good partner is a good partner is a good partner. The background is irrelevant IMO.

MuslimSisLilSis — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:25

the chnaces may be small but they do happen

two families we know suffered many miscarraiges and gave birth to disabled kids

docters said it cos was they were too closly related

You — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:32

The reason for that was probably because they had dominant recessive genes...

It is possible that they both had nondominant recessive genes, but that would not be any more prevalent in relatives, as due to natural selection (yes that thing...) will weaken the tribes which would hae such traits reducing their numbers, eventually eliminating them, or til the dominant version becomes present.

So again same statistical chance.

With first cousins there is a possible increase in chance, but even there it is extremely unlikely. (GCSE biology... or what I can remember of it...)

Medarris — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:37

lol, I remember one Ramadaan the Mawlana at the masjid I was reading taraweeh at went mad when giving tarjumah of Surah Ahzaab cos thats the surah which mentions about first cousins.

Mawlana went off saying that these people accuse us of all bad things cos we marry first cousins, he startes saying they dont wash themselves after the toliet, they eat with the hand which had just touched impurity and they wonder why they have so much disease? He goes they allow their men to marry men and their women to marry women and they accuse us for marrying pure women who are halal? He started having a go at some of the youth aswell telling us that dnt think there is anything wrong in your cousins, your parents were cousins, your grandparents, for generations you been offspring of cousins now all of a sudden u think u knw better.

SubhanALLAH, gud bayaan.

May ALLAH increase Hadrat Mawlana in imaan and islaam and ihsaan.
ameen.

Sirus — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:39

[quote="Admin"]The reason for that was probably because they had dominant recessive genes...

It is possible that they both had nondominant recessive genes, but that would not be any more prevalent in relatives, as due to natural selection (yes that thing...) will weaken the tribes which would hae such traits reducing their numbers, eventually eliminating them, or til the dominant version becomes present.

So again same statistical chance.

With first cousins there is a possible increase in chance, but even there it is extremely unlikely. (GCSE biology... or what I can remember of it...)[/quote]

and what did you tell me about statistics Admin. eh?

:roll:

You — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:40

that 74% of the staticians know 83% of stats are just made up?

However there is a basis for stats. However using the wrong gauge will give misleading results.

MuslimSisLilSis — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:41

[quote="Med"]

SubhanALLAH, gud bayaan.

.[/quote]

if u say so

IMO the "kufar are so dirty" lectures are lame

in a Ramadan programe i went to last sunday a top scholar spoke about how wrong it is to exclude non muslims and perceive them as being dirty

You — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:41

They do not have the same understanding of cleanliness as muslims. However just ranting, especially on the pulpit is wrong.

It leads to fitnah.

Medarris — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:42

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]

if u say so

IMO the "kufar are so dirty" lectures are lame

in a Ramadan programe i went to last sunday a top scholar spoke about how wrong it is to exclude non muslims and perceive them as being dirty[/quote]

take it up with Hadrat Mawlana, not me. Btw that Hadrat Mawlana is from the barelwiyya. just in case ne1 thinks its just deobandis who go saying things like this

MuslimSisLilSis — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:43

[quote="Admin"]They do not have the same understanding of cleanliness as muslims. However just ranting, especially on the pulpit is wrong.

It leads to fitnah.[/quote]

exactly

and why should they want to convert and learn more about Islam when they pick up such negative attitides from muslims-

You — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:43

It don't matter what sect he is. Wrong is wrong...

I also dislike khutbah's full of emotion, and devoid of knowledge and information...

MuslimSisLilSis — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:44

[quote="Admin"]It don't matter what sect he is. Wrong is wrong..[/quote]

Yep. Who cares what sect he is

that dont change the fact that he cusses people frm other religions

Sirus — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:45

hes voicing what hes heard

but Med as i know, wont disrespect a scholar or question him

so, take it up with the scholar

but yeah agreed, wat was said wasnt good - but kinda tru-ish slightly

Medarris — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 - 22:47

The reason I wont question a scholar is because I dont have the knowledge to do that. InshaALLAH if ALLAH accepts me and makes me alim and I get a portion of some knowledge then I will question. Once I have mastered the basics of knowledge then MAYBE i might question, but never would I question my Ustaadji, that is not in me.

Angel — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 - 00:22

I just need to add somethin, i knew of this guy who was goin to get married to his cuz whom he liked but after hearin that it will increase the chances of his children being disabled he decided against it, so he married sum1 totally outwith family and he had 2 children who both were disabled.

The guy lacked in faith and he under estimated Allah's power.

Medarris — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 - 00:28

yeh my uncle back home told us a story aswell.

He goes that a couple decided that they not wanting a kid for a year so they took precaution, then next yr when they wanted a kid, wife conceived twins. They thought it was a one off. So took another yr off after twins, and then tried again, and again she conceived twins. Which he was saying shows that if ALLAH's gonna give u kids, u better have em at the right time otherwise HE gonna give u twins to make up for the lost yrs, lol.

nice story innit.

Muslimbrother1 — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 - 21:58

Taken fron sunnipath.com

[b]Walaikum assalam,

Marrying cousins is permitted in Islam. There is no real medical evidence that marrying a first cousin will lead itself to any weakening the gene-pool.

See, for example,

http://www.usatoday.com/news/healthscience/science/2002-04-04-cousins.h…
http://www.press.uillinois.edu/f96/ottenhei.html
http://www.discover.com/june_02/feat_kissing.html
http://www.cousincouples.com/info/facts.shtml
http://www.babymed.com/docs/english/782.asp [/b]

Id probably get married to gal from back home if there was one that I liked

Medarris — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 - 22:00

ASSALAAMU ALAYKUM MUSLIMBROTHER!

How r u doing bruv?

May ALLAH keep you happy always.

Medarris — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 - 22:37

bro dnt ask. fitnah on all four sides. u met ibrar innit?

I went skul wiv him bruv, u gonna come down to bham any time soon? or r u gonna go to masjid zakariyya, bolton over next weekened, shaykhs gonna be there?

Sirus — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 - 01:01

cmon, fitnah on 3 sides......some good aspects i found to it this year

alhamdulillah the islamic society is striving and a lotta people there, and i also noticed a lot of sisters have taken up the hijab this year prior to ramadan even

agreed uni can be dodgy, but u take wats good from it

did u manage to get transfer?