Superwomen-Necessity or Choice?

MuslimSister —

Salaam

I was reading an article the other day which basically was arguing that women are expected to become “superwomen”-they must do it all or lose it all.

They become “supermums” and are “burned out” a few years later. And it was basically arguing that career-orientated women lead stressful lives and that too many of us have fallen prey to the feminist mystique....and that women should only focus on family and home and nothing else.

Islamically, it is the father/husbands job to financially provide for his family. I do not dispute that; however is it wrong for women to educate themselves just in case one day God forbid she won’t have a man in her life to financially take care of her?

My mum has stressed education for her girls, not so that we’d become “feminist and career orientated women who believe that we don’t need a man” but so that, if God Forbid something happens…we’d be able to take care of ourselves.

My grandfather passed away when mum was young, leaving my nan to marry off and bring up six young kids and cos my nan was not educated - mum’s family lived in relative poverty for years.

Mum put of marriage till she was qualified and earning money. Her qualifications also came in handy, because for the first three years of marriage dad was a student and not earning much…

Whilst men are obliged to financially take care of their women….I feel that many women lose out when they depend on their men 101% and are not equipped to take care of themselves…

Is it wrong to stress education for women as a back up?

Life doesn’t come with guarantee’s…people get divorced, widowed, or suffer from bankruptcy. And I also know of situations where the husband earns a lot of money but because of his stingy nature, out of desperation the wife is forced to ask others for money…

It depresses me when parents focus so much on their son’s education but for their girls they feel that GCSE’s is more than enough….

A few friends of mine are struggling to call their husbands over from Pakistan cos they have young children and are not educated and struggling to find work….

I don’t believe that women can survive without men.

After all it was dad who’s financially took care of all my needs since I was little-paid for my Uni fee’s, took me Hajj, brought me a car, has always dropped me off all my life wherever I wanted to go. It’s him I call up when I’m lost, or when the mobile company is ripping me off, or when the bank is messing me about or when work cuts my pay…I’d be lost without him.

But at the same time…I feel that women should be fully equipped to deal with whatever life throws at them and parents should stress education for their daughters for this reason.

I’m desperate to become a qualified teacher….I pray that I get accepted on to my teachers’ training course, but at the same I have no intention of being in full time employment….I just want to work when I feel like it, and have the reassurance that I can take care of myself.

How far do you guys agree with the above…?

Wasalaam

Forum

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 13:41

in Islam, education is not a choice, it is an obligation on every Muslim, male or female.

i agree muslimsis - boys and girls should seek both Islamic and worldly education which will inshaAlllah lead them to success in this life and the Hereafter. just because Muslim women do not have to work, it doesnt mean they should not go to uni at all. :roll: like u said, should the need arise, u can put ur qualifications into practice...

it makes me really angry as well, to see parents not getting their daughters educated properly and leaving them badly equipped to deal with what life throws at them in the future.

salaf — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 14:23

[quote="*DUST*"]in Islam, education is not a choice, it is an obligation on every Muslim, male or female.
[/quote]

What are basing that on?

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 15:41

^^thats common knolwdge

men AND women are told to seek knowledge-even if they have to go China

unless a girl is a gold digger and dreams of a sugar daddy-she shud know how to look after herself

independence all the way 8)

salaf — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 15:53

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]^^thats common knolwdge

men AND women are told to seek knowledge-even if they have to go China

[/quote]

How many of the sahaba went to China?

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 15:54

[quote="salaf"]

How many of the sahaba went to China?[/quote]

Gods knows

but somehow I doubt that the hadith is to be taken literally

cos as far as I'm aware-China is not famous for its educational institutes

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 15:58

[quote="salaf"][quote="*DUST*"]in Islam, education is not a choice, it is an obligation on every Muslim, male or female.
[/quote]

What are basing that on?[/quote]It is narrated by Anas ibn Malik that the Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]men AND women are told to seek knowledge-even if they have to go China[/quote] 😢

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 16:00

[quote="*DUST*"]

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]men AND women are told to seek knowledge-even if they have to go China[/quote] :cry:[/quote]

LOL

why the sadness sweety?

did u have plans to go there?

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 16:05

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="*DUST*"]

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]men AND women are told to seek knowledge-even if they have to go China[/quote] :cry:[/quote]

LOL

why the sadness sweety?

did u have plans to go there?[/quote]
😢 😢 - ask admin. :roll: 😛

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 16:16

u know another thing thats sad-

when women become VERY highly qualified-phd level, or consultants etc

and they are forbidden to work after marraige 😢

its tough for such women to sit at home-i know some women like that

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 16:19

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]and they are forbidden to work after marraige 😢

...i know some women like that[/quote]do they have kids?

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 16:22

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]and they are forbidden to work after marraige 😢

...i know some women like that[/quote]do they have kids?[/quote]

nope

I'm chatting about newly weds

ppl aint in a rush to have kids ASAP these days

salaf — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 17:30

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="salaf"][quote="*DUST*"]in Islam, education is not a choice, it is an obligation on every Muslim, male or female.
[/quote]

What are basing that on?[/quote]It is narrated by Anas ibn Malik that the Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

[/quote]

What knowledge is being described here though?

There was no schooling system back then.

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 17:41

[quote="salaf"][quote="*DUST*"][quote="salaf"][quote="*DUST*"]in Islam, education is not a choice, it is an obligation on every Muslim, male or female.
[/quote]

What are basing that on?[/quote]It is narrated by Anas ibn Malik that the Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

[/quote]

What knowledge is being described here though?

There was no schooling system back then.[/quote]salaf, cut to the chase - whats ur point? just because they didnt have schools set up which rang a bell for registration time, doesnt mean there was no such thing as education in those days... :?

salaf — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 17:49

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="salaf"][quote="*DUST*"][quote="salaf"][quote="*DUST*"]in Islam, education is not a choice, it is an obligation on every Muslim, male or female.
[/quote]

What are basing that on?[/quote]It is narrated by Anas ibn Malik that the Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

[/quote]

What knowledge is being described here though?

There was no schooling system back then.[/quote]salaf, cut to the chase - whats ur point? just because they didnt have schools set up which rang a bell for registration time, doesnt mean there was no such thing as education in those days... :?[/quote]

Education yes but from parents and family. In regards to hunting, fighting and the like. Remember the Rasul SAW couldn't read.

This is different from seeking out knowledge. My point is I don't think you should be using this hadeeth to justify modern schooling as many muslims do now. Yasmin Alibhia Brown said on bbc radio once that the Qu'ran said muslims must get an education even if they have to go to China.

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 18:12

[quote="salaf"]Yasmin Alibhia Brown said on bbc radio once that the Qu'ran said muslims must get an education even if they have to go to China.[/quote]oooh.... :roll: :evil: dont get me started on that woman. [size=7](bet u just put that bit in so i'd agree with u ;))[/size]

but there was 'our' type of education in those days too - wot else do u think the companions of the Prophet (s.a.w) would sit with him for, he would teach them in the masjid, some would memorise what he said, whilst others wrote it down as well. and the female companions even complained that they were learning less because they did not have the same opportunity as the men, so the Prophet (s.a.w) set aside time to spend with the female companions, answering their queries and teaching them more about Islam...
and what about after the death of the Prophet (s.a.w)? did the companions not go to 'Aaishah (r.a) to gain knowledge from her, to learn even a single of the ~2000 ahadith she narrated?

Narrated Zayd ibn Thabit: The Apostle of Allah (s.a.w) ordered me (to learn the writing of the Jews), so I learnt for him the writing of the Jews. He said: I swear by Allah, I do not trust Jews in respect of writing for me. So I learnt it, and only a fortnight passed that I mastered it. I would write for him when he wrote (to them), and read to him when something was written to him. (Sunan Abu-Dawood, Book 25, Number 3638)

and Allah (s.w.t) knows best.

Seraphim — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 19:07

Aayisha speak the truth.

You must gain knowledge to better yourself and mankind. what good is knowledge if you dont put it into practice. I would say any type of knowledge (unless it causes harm to another IMO) is good. Basicly learn all you can, practice what you have learn and pass the knowledge on.. in the never ending circle of life Simba.

The key to this is to better yourself and others.

Becoming Superwomen is a choice... altho not an easy one to make. In certain circumstances it becomes necessary as a means of survival in others its unnecessary. My moms a Superwoman... more out of necessaity than choice.

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 20:21

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]mother is the main role model to her kids in the home

tis VERY important that she's educated[/quote]
exactly! 🙂 what kind of a school is the "mother's lap" going to be if she herself is not educated? :?

yuit — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 20:31

Really depend on what the mother is educated in, Islamic knowledge is the most important, without it the mother is depriving her offsprings.

Women do need another interest as well, another interest or something so they not alway focusing and nagging the children and the husband. Personally don't agree with Career women though, unless in some career and situation where they have to and is needed.

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 21:50

[quote="yuit"]

Really depend on what the mother is educated in, Islamic knowledge is the most important, without it the mother is depriving her offsprings.

Personally don't agree with Career women though,

.[/quote]

religious education AND secular education is important

so what do u have against "career women"?

is it that u rather wish ur wife waits on u hand and foot 24/7?

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 21:55

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]religious education AND secular education is important

so what do u have against "career women"?

is it that u rather wish ur wife waits on u hand and foot 24/7?[/quote]yup, both are important, but Islamic education is not at all stressed upon compared to secular education in most families... :?

lol poor yuit, no need to be harsh on him - he did say women should keep themselves occupied and not just be housewives 24/7, and that if their situation demands, they can go work too... 😉

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 21:57

if u ask me secular education is not stressed at all in most homes either

only cultural education is :roll:

even if education aint used for a career in the future-it still REALLY broadens a persons mind

yuit — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 21:59

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]religious education AND secular education is important

so what do u have against "career women"?

is it that u rather wish ur wife waits on u hand and foot 24/7?[/quote]]

lol poor yuit, no need to be harsh on him - he did say women should keep themselves occupied and not just be housewives 24/7, and that if their situation demands, they can go work too... :wink:[/quote]

Yup she just looking for a agrument, why esle disregard half my post for :?:

Career women i talking about, are not the one who do community base work, rather the business minded one who are also feminist as well, u know the one, who think whatever a man can do a woman can do better. :roll:

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 22:01

[quote="yuit"]
Career women i talking about, are not the one who do community base work, rather the business minded one who are also feminist as well, u know the one, who think whatever a man can do a woman can do better. :roll:[/quote]

so buisness minded girls are feminists? :roll:

I'm doing buisness n Uni? :shock:

and I have no intention of pursuing a career n the future

and even if I did-that dont make me a feminist

yuit — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 22:03

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="yuit"]
Career women i talking about, are not the one who do community base work, rather the business minded one who are also feminist as well, u know the one, who think whatever a man can do a woman can do better. :roll:[/quote]

so buisness minded girls are feminists? :roll:

I'm doing buisness n Uni? :shock:

and I have no intention of pursuing a career n the future[/quote]

Well that doesn't make you a business minded one does it then. :roll:

Plus i said "who are also feminist as well" not that all of them are.

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 22:05

[quote="yuit"]

Well that doesn't make you a business minded one does it then. :roll:[/quote]

even if I was "buisness minded"-how does that make me a feminist

a lady I know runs and manages her own buisness-a beauty parlour

she's married with one kid

is she a feminist? :roll: :roll:

*DUST* — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 22:06

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]if u ask me secular education is not stressed at all in most homes either

only cultural education is :roll:[/quote]hmm, good point actually. i guess parents who dont see the value of education apply it equally - sending their kids to substandard schools and 'madrasahs'... :? but still, parents who are bothered about their kids getting a great secular education, sending them to the best private schools and whatnot, do nowhere near the same for their child's Islamic education...

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]even if education aint used for a career in the future-it still REALLY broadens a persons mind[/quote]very true.

yuit — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 - 22:06

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="yuit"]

Well that doesn't make you a business minded one does it then. :roll:[/quote]

even if I was "buisness minded"-how does that make me a feminist

a lady I know runs and manages her own buisness-a beauty parlour

she's married with one kid

is she a feminist? :roll: :roll:[/quote]

Read my orginal post and the one i edited and then come and talk to me :roll: :roll: :roll: