Have family meals gone out of fashion?
As the government plans a national tour to promote its Respect Agenda, published last month, the BBC News website examines the importance of the family meal for fostering respect.
The days of families sitting down together every evening for a meal are often said to be long gone and their demise is sometimes seen as symptomatic of the breakdown in family life.
Can it also have led to a decline in respect between generations?
Various studies have suggested a link between fewer family meals and eating disorders, obesity, drug and alcohol abuse and poor communication skills among young people.
Mealtime aspirations
Kathryn Milburn, professor of sociology of families and health, believes modern mothers find it very difficult to ensure an old-fashioned cooked meal at a set time.
She said: "There is so much pressure on women to be all singing all dancing.
"They are out in the labour market and trying to do other things like supervising children's homework. They face many demands.
Women are very concerned to provide their families with decent meals.
"I completely understand they have to go down the convenience food route."
She has not studied the knock-on effects that not having meals as a family may have on anti-social behaviour but has examined competing pressures on parents.
"If they don't manage to sit down as family every evening it is hardly surprising," said Ms Milburn, who is co-director of the Centre for Research on families and relationships based at Edinburgh University.
"Putting a meal together is definitely something they still value but it is often impossible to do on a daily basis."
Justine Roberts, co-founder of the parenting website netmums.com, agrees.
She said: "One or both parents are not getting home until after bedtime. There is no prospect of an evening meal.
"Most people aspire to it and think it a good thing but it gets relegated to weekends."
But to blame a decline in mealtimes to an increase in anti-social behaviour was a "bit trite", she said.
"It's just another catchy thing to make parents feel guilty. It's just not that simple," she said.
[url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4356992.stm]BBC NEWS[/url]
Well frankly people have no time apparantly nowadays to cook dinner. Husband and wife got a career, or a job, kids in full time education, screw "dinner", chocholate buiscuits infront of the telly is all ya gettin.
I Blame TV
WHAT??!! Need to blame something!!!!
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
salaam
its true alot of people dont have time nowadays but family is very important!!
we have to have atleast one family meal a day and its the one we have in the evening. thats coz bros and sis's leave house at different times and lunch noones home lol. so father likes it when ever1 together at the dinner table in evening we have made a habit and we get to discuss issues lol
Dont know about in other familys....
But they surely do exist in my family...Well the evening meal really, in the day we just tend to eat when we feel like.
The evening meal is a proper family meal in my home. I help prepare the food...make my brothers do abit of helping at times...set down the cloth on the floor and eat togather.
We dont normally discuss stuff whilst eating...dont know why.
I really dont see the importance of a family meal.....apart from not serving everyone seperatly...
but its nice to eat togather esp when you got relatives down or on special occasions like eid.
I like ebing alone when eating... I know we its better to be in a gathering... but it avoids conversations...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
You seem like a real sociable guy admin, id love to meet you one day.
Yea maybe we could get summin to eat, n have a chat :twisted:
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
I do not mind chatting.
But when eating if someone brings up a topic you do not want to discuss you cannot easily get out of the situation.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
evening meal is the ONLY meal in the day where we HAVE to sit all together and eat
mum yells and yells if we dont
we also have be home for dinner too
even though i'd never admit it to mum-tis a good thing she stress's
since the rest of the day we're always scattered around and mum needs to ask one sister where the other sister is or whats she's doing etc
dinner time gives us chance to catch up-n tease one another :twisted:
cleaning up after dinner is a collective thing too
I dont like that happening....espec when im eating,
When my bro starts teasing about stuff or whateva get so peed of..
I like to enjoy my food and concentrate whilst eating..
talking at eating times gets me irritated most times.
My home is a hotel in that people I don't know are always there...
what you allow stangers in your home :?
lol... it's complicated
I probably have a much different home life than many of the rest of you guys
in my mums house we rarely had lunch together coz some of my siblings were at work or college. But dinner we always ate together.
In my own house things are different. I'm running the house and i'm not preparing food for other ppl out of meal times, a routine needs to be maintained for some sense of order and discipline. I don't have kids but this sort of discipline is needed and can be good for them.
So we eat all our meals together, breakfast, lunch, tea, and supper. Obviously when my husbands working, he eats lunch out. I try and finish first, so i don't have to clean the plates, well hey i do domestics all day get sick of it sometimes!
The only down side of eating together is the bad eating habits of family members like slurping i just can't stand that. How someone can slurp rice is beyond me, still happens.
I like talking over a meal, but nothing major, light hearted talk just catching up on days events. I hate silent meals, i blame female hormones, rather than my character for that, i can be soo darn moody ahaha.
Order is important... but I suspect that it's easier to maintain in a 2 or 3 person house than when you have a couple kids and everybody is running off to soccer practice work piano lessons and frisbee games at the park.
Discipline probably becomes ad hoc
slurping rice :? it must be very curry-fyde or watery to be slurpy
or am i thinking something else.....lol do they eat with hand ?
with hand no, even with a dry curry manage to make a slurping sucking sound uff makes me mad. like a chicken drumstick, meat finished gone, but i'll hear someone sucking it, gosh it makes me soooo mad. There's more meat in the pot for heavens sake, why you sucking a bone! lool
Yes with the hand knives and folks what are they?
I'm so used to eating with my hands, i swear food tastes better this way, but there's no scientific proof in this, just used to it.
I do use cutlery for certain foods, it's just easier or convenient like spaghetti, be very hard to eat that with hands.
What the...
Sucking bones and slurping and eating with your hands?!
looool
lol........i suck bones- everyone takes the mick
Yash i like eating with my hands too....food tastes so much tastier well yea rice......all my family use spoons.
Yea and i know what you mean by slurping....when people eat bananas it makes a very irritating noise too that i cant stand.
Eat with hands? Interesting. I need my cuttlery for most things.
Im guessing when you use cuttlery, specifically steel, it has a different taste to it.
the only time i find it annoying is when im smoking my sheesha, dam metal tastes funny.
(yeh i kno, sheesha n metal cuttlery r biddah bidah etc
)
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
i thght most indopak folks, arabs and generally muslims use hands to eat, i'm feeling alienated on this forum now.
Cheeky so n' so, nowt to do with bidah that's how we were taught as wee lickle babies. It's like telling a chinese person to eat with knives and folks when they have used chopsticks all their lives.
Q how can you eat chapattis with cutlery, ain't it easier using your hands..you weirdos!
We need to send you to finishing school!
ey ey......im wiv you.
I know most indians eat with hand (livd wiv them for a few years).....back home they mostly eat with hands
arabs dunno.
yep arab tradition they normally have one large platter of food all the family gathers around and they eat with their hands from the same plate. I duno if i'd like doing that. Coz number one someone else could eat more than me, i could be left hungry. number two i think about germs too much, so i'd eat with caution. But if it's the norm for you it wouldn't be a problem.
The only person i share a plate of food with is my husband, only if mother in law isn't around, otherwise i'm too shy :oops:
Well i sed i use cuttlery for most things. Unfortunatly my mum dunt let me eat chapattis with knofe n fork no more, cuz my lil brother copies n gets it all over the place.
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
finishing schools teach you etiquette and good manners. Including conversation, eating manners, dressing, walking, talking. Gosh they train you like you're preparing for the crufts.
Yash isnt it a sunnah to eat from the same plate :?
At madressah we used to eat in groups from a massive plate....it was ok as everyone ate from the sides closest to them..
but personally i too like eating seperate....but sharing from the same plate has its owns feeling
i eat wiv my hands so do most bengalis i no
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
yeah same plate and with hands. But i confess only reason i eat with hands is coz i was taught to, culturally. I wasn't told as a kid this is the sunnah. Obviously no ones saying those who use cutlery are bidah followers, so don't even go there lol.
sharing with one person isn't too bad, sharing with more than that, i'd be so tempted to pass round antibacterial wipes, i always carry some, what can i say you never know when you'll need them
there was this programme on itv1 called ladettes to ladies where bunch of tom boys had to go finishing skool to become "young ladies"
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
Its official, your a freak
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
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