Big Boys Don’t Cry
Salaam
Is what I said to one of the boys in a school I was working in who was crying his eyes out because the other boys had taken his toys…
I’ve never said this to little girls though.
As Muslims we all try to live our life doing what’s “expected” of us by Islam.
However, as always when it comes to gender issues sometimes things get a bit cloudy.
I agree with the statement that “A Man should be a man and a woman should be a woman”.
However, what exactly are women expected to act like and when do men start acting like women?
I can understand the clear cut differences in dress and mannerisms….but what about how one chooses to live their life?
Different people make different choices in life…just because other people’s choices aren't the same as ours…this doesn't invalidate their choice...
I know a couple, the wife works and earns good money whilst the husband is a “househusband”…Islamically, is anything wrong with that? So maybe it’s not ideal but if the husband and wife don’t have an issue with this, then no one else has a right to condemn or judge…
If a guy chooses to spend his time in the kitchen, does that mean he’s “acting like a girl”?
If the wife brings home the money and the husband stays at home and looks after the house and kids, does that mean the wife “wears the trousers in the house”?
If a guy is considerate enough to help around the house…do the cooking and cleaning etc is he “feminine” or does the “wife have him under her thumb”?
If the husband is considerate enough to consult his wife before he makes major decisions....Is he not “manly enough”?
Is a woman only acting like a REAL woman when she spends ALL her time at home totally devoted to keeping a immaculate home and keeping her husband happy? Is she any less of a “real woman” if she does the above as well as pursuing some of her own interests too?
If a man chooses to talk about his feelings or is moved to tears when something deeply upsets him...Is he not "manly" enough?
Are the roles and responsibilities of boys and girls black and white? Doesn’t the culture, time and society play a role in this?
So, yeah I just want to know when YOU think a guy starts to act like a girl and vice versa.
Wasalaam
Big Boys Don’t Cry
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]its tru
most MEN don't cry
its not a manly thing to do-
[/quote]
It is a manly thing, when there is reason to cry.
When there is no or little reason, its usually the tears of women that flow.
😂
Its manly to laugh to, but don't fall into forgetfulness because of it, rather praise Allah T'ala for the surprising happiness. 😃
Big Boys Don’t Cry
So what boys on this forum have cried?
I am not talkin bout somethin so emotional as losing someone very close to you but somethin like your team losing a football match (bet hayduh wud cry cuz of that)
I think i would find it odd if a guy burst into tears for no apparent reason, women just tend to get emotional hence cry at a lot of things.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Angel"]So what boys on this forum have cried?
[b]I am not talkin bout somethin so emotional as losing someone very close to you but somethin like your team losing a football match [/b]
[/quote]
Not that stuff.
Football team loosing is not a crying matter. 😂 😃
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Angel"]
I have never heard my dad complain bout work but when me and my sis get home thats all we ever do, also if you have kids it does get a bit tough but those who can work and look after their kids, i think good for them ( i knw my cuz does) and at the same time she can look after her daughter fine.
[/quote]
Same here…I only work part time (two/three days a week). My work isn’t even strenuous and I nearly always get a lift there and back…but I’m always complaining about being tired when I get home. And I don’t even have kids to look after or a house to clean.
I’m always going to work….I like keeping busy. But it will ONLY be part time. I’ve found that I can’t hack full time work. I remember when I worked in Ramadan…I just about managed to read my Tarawih at home in the evenings. I started to appreciate men who work hard all day and then spend their evenings reading their Tarwih in the Mosque…I can’t do that.
So yeah, in this regard it does seem as if men are more suited to work then women.
I too have a lot of respect for men that work.
And regarding tears….yeah it’s a girl thing to burst into tears at the slightest reason. It takes a lot for a man to be moved to tears…Unless of course they’re better at hiding their red eyes then women are.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="MuslimSister"]
Unless of course they’re better at hiding their red eyes then women are.[/quote]
Like someone mentioned before instead of crying they usually get angry and that is very common amongst men, when they cant cry they just lose their temper ( its scary seeing men angry :oops: )
Big Boys Don’t Cry
yep-thats men for u
when they're hurting they make sure they upset everyone else around them too by losing their temper
I guess talking about what is bothering them is too much to expect from the male species :roll:
Big Boys Don’t Cry
nothin wrong with the strong silent type, lilsis
women talk too much...always yappin about something...
dunno how u lot have got so much to say about eastenders and the price of nappys and fairy liquid....
:twisted:
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Angel"]( its scary seeing men angry :oops: )[/quote]
And its a weakness as well.
A strong man is the one who can control his temper. I have a lot of respect for men who don't flip easily.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="musk"][quote="Admin"]Have you seen a man cry?
for a woman, its just waterworks. Nothing that far from the ordinary.
[b]For a man its a total emotional breakdown. a catastrophic event. You have to be totally hopeless. Near suicidal to let some tears out.
Don't know why though, but its the way it is[/b].[/quote]
I hope SOM1s reading this.[/quote]
i feel baaaaaaaaaaaaD.......
SORRY to those who i made cry
Big Boys Don’t Cry
...
ya know guys...
It's peculiar comments like those which you two make to each other that really confuses us sometimes
Big Boys Don’t Cry
no need to be sorry. never ever.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
...
Big Boys Don’t Cry
:roll: can we keep the apologies in the apologies thread please
[quote="MuslimSister"][quote="Angel"]( its scary seeing men angry :oops: )[/quote]
And its a weakness as well.
A strong man is the one who can control his temper. I have a lot of respect for men who don't flip easily.[/quote]
It is a weakness, its amazin how some men can keep their cool, my dad has never screamed at us girls (sis got shouted at once but that was justified).
Men who can control their temper god bless them!
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Angel"] my dad has never screamed at us girls (sis got shouted at once but that was justified).
[/quote]
psychologically women are more prone to emotional upset...and i've realised fathers for instance wont be as hard on their daughter as he might be on his son
boys are made from sterner stuff than girls..
thats why more females commit suicide or have nervous breakdowns...i think this is where the prophet mohammed s.a.w likened the wome to a rib..
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="white"][quote="Angel"] my dad has never screamed at us girls (sis got shouted at once but that was justified).
[/quote]
psychologically women are more prone to emotional upset...and i've realised fathers for instance wont be as hard on their daughter as he might be on his son
boys are made from sterner stuff than girls..
thats why more females commit suicide or have nervous breakdowns...i think this is where the prophet mohammed s.a.w likened the wome to a rib..[/quote]
Well actually thats not technically correct, males tend to commit suicide more so than women do.
Its true fathers are more softer on their daughter than sons , thats natural, girls are more sweeter and are likely to show their loving side which men dont tend to do when it comes to fathers ie giving your dad a hug/kiss.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
yes true at suicide.
ALSO of all professions dentists have the highest suicide rate.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="musk"]yes true at suicide.
ALSO of all professions dentists have the highest suicide rate.[/quote]
What the...
Why?
They always seemed so calm... then again when you spend your entire day making little tiny precise movements I can see how that would drive a person completely insane.
Try cleaning a penny by scratching it with a needle, now multiply that times ALL DAY and I guess I can see it.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
I dnno if its the same in US, but in UK, dentists have highest suicde rate. Thats what they keep telling us at uni, dont get too hung up on ur work cos then u'll end up killing urself. Its all a big joke, but important underlying message.
OOPS off topic AGAIN.
sorry.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
Well there you have it. Med, do NOT become a dentist.
Incidentally what are you going to do?
Big Boys Don’t Cry
er . . . dentistry innit.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
oh...
[size=7]well this is awkward[/size]
Dentistry is really fabulous you know - where would the world be without denists?!
Big Boys Don’t Cry
i dnt care two figs for the profession. Im just looking forward to working 6 months and being free to do what I want for 6 months, cos doing that much work I will still inshaALLAH be earning more than my dad earns now.
I aint in it for the job, im in it for the moneys.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="musk"]i dnt care two figs for the profession. Im just looking forward to working 6 months and being free to do what I want for 6 months, cos doing that much work I will still inshaALLAH be earning more than my dad earns now.
I aint in it for the job, im in it for the moneys.[/quote]
come on ppl, take this to the no topic thread....!!
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Angel"]
Well actually thats not technically correct, males tend to commit suicide more so than women do.
.[/quote]
I read somewhere that men are more likely to "get the job done properly" wheras women's suicide attempt is more likely to be a "cry for help".
But its true that men are more likely to commit suicide. I don't know what this says about gender differences.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Don Karnage"]...
ya know guys...
It's peculiar comments like those which you two make to each other that really confuses us sometimes[/quote]
I know, I thought, have [blank] and [blank] got [the same cheese curer at the local dairy] when we weren't looking, then I remebered a Itr I got from the Al Hidayah camp called 'white musk' and then I remebered the Al Hidayah camp, now I'm thinking off MICS so tantalisingly close.
Now I'm looking at the time... 🙂 😃 😃
Big Boys Don’t Cry
yes that itr has a beautiful smell...
someone gifted me it...
Big Boys Don’t Cry
itr is just a superficial thing, like make up and jewellery.
These things only enhance natural beauty. And natural beauty, eg the beauty of eyes, or the beauty of the voice or the beauty of the touch is a thousand times better than superficial itr or make up etc.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
My ex used to cry whenever I used to dump him. He would attempt suicide and would end up having his stomach pumped. A dear friend of mine pointed out that if the wimp really wanted to commit suicide because of me he d swallow the ENTIRE bottle of paracetamol, not half. I always used to take him back out of pity.
I wish the shithead actually did top himself. But he's like most men. Just talk.
Big Boys Don’t Cry
[quote="Dawud"]I know, I thought, have [blank] and [blank] got [the same cheese curer at the local dairy] when we weren't looking,[/quote]
😂 wots with the change Dawud?
its tru
most MEN don't cry
its not a manly thing to do-
like u guys said-it has to be a massive thing for them to cry
however I have heard that Romeo's are cry babies
they are easily moved to tears
[size=7]wimps :twisted: [/size]