Neither.

Character is more important then both.

I LOOK 4 VIRTUE AND POLITNESS

I agree with the two comment above, but how important do you think lifestyle is in marriage, so basically how two seperate people live. Should islam eradicate this problem, or is it always going to be there.

You need a balance of everything. As muslimsis said Character and piety is the most important thing. But beauty, intelligence and other factors are important aswell. I think the physical is important aswell it can't be sidelined. You need to feel attracted to the person you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. How long will the marriage last just on character alone or just on looks alone? You need a good healthy balance .

Salaam

Yeah, of course other factors are important as well. It’s important to feel attracted to your partner, its important that he’s able to provide and look after you etc etc

However in my opinion good character takes precedence over all things. Looks fade, money comes and goes but it’s his character that you have to live with. And what good is a persons pretty face if he/she doesn’t know how to treat his fellow human beings…and what good is ones bank balance or high IQ if they act like a dictators and/or treat others like crap.

It ones good character that wins the hearts of others….And bad character makes even the most beautiful person seem ugly….I just know too many people with such bad characters who make life hell for others around them.

The Holy Prophet told us to beware of beautiful women with a bad characters

Wasalaam

I think that when you get to know a person then you automatically fall for their looks, you feel you cant call them ugly because their inner beauty has blinded you into thinkin they are actually physically attractive.

Salam

"Angel" wrote:

I think that when you get to know a person then you automatically fall for their looks, you feel you cant call them ugly because their inner beauty has blinded you into thinkin they are actually physically attractive.

God shes good !!

What a line. So much truth in it. Absolutely beautiful.

Angel. What are you on ?

Omrow

i agree beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But if we're honest we all want someone we find attractive, physically, mentally, etc.

I think in this regard men can be more superficial, not trying to pick on them just what i believe.

Anyways just wait till you sisters decide to get married you'll know what i mean.

I don't think guys are that superficial, but I think too many marry thinking on short term basis. I remember a shaykh came down once and someone ask him the question how to be a good parent as he was finding it hard to control his kids and the Shaykh said that he should have ask himself that question before he got married. Looks and first impression are kind of important i guess, but it shouldn't really be used to define a person, like many do.

One thing i always wanted to know, is if a bloke is thinking of marrying a Niqabi, is he allowed to look at her face and if yes, how soon in the process, alway interested me that question.

"yuit" wrote:

One thing i always wanted to know, is if a bloke is thinking of marrying a Niqabi, is he allowed to look at her face and if yes, how soon in the process, alway interested me that question.

"yuit" wrote:

One thing i always wanted to know, is if a bloke is thinking of marrying a Niqabi, is he allowed to look at her face and if yes, how soon in the process, alway interested me that question.

I would think it would cuz the Hadith where one of the sahaba's come to the Holy Prophet saying he is gettin married and Holy Prophet says "have you had a look at her(ie who he is going to marry" and he says "no" and the Holy Prophet replies "take a look at her"

Also depending on the school of thought you follow one can view a girl without her hijab, so i have heard....anyone want to confirm?

without hijab? I've heard that but i dont think the majority of scholars agree with that. Coz how many men are you gona reveal yourself to without hijab, say 5 or 10 before you like one of them? and in the mean time all those other men would have got a full viewing of you without hijab? Would you feel comfy with that? I sure wouldn't

To be honest if a man asked me to remove the hijab i'd show him the door, and my mother would show him her sandal. I'd never remove it.

I'm sure our prophet instructed men who wanted to marry a woman to see her first. This meant seeing her face, and judging her character etc. I doubt these women removed their hijabs for the men.

The face veil is another issue. How will you know if you're attracted to a person or not. If they're compatible in that sense if you don't at least see their face? It's permitted. I don;t know what the scholars say you'll have to check, but personally i think first you should just speak get to know each other. If you like each other you can arrange a second meeting with her family and then ask to see her face. But i suppose it's you're right to see her face in the first meeting also if you desire and she accepts that is.

I know of brothers who would accept niqabi sisters without even seeing their faces. Call them brave or stupid they always amaze me. They will say her character is pleasing she is pious i am more than convinced she is the right one for me, seeing her face won't change a thing. But for other brothers it might

My husband said the same thing to me. i said ya right you'd already seen my face i never wore niqab back then so it's easy for you to flatter me now Well my brother later told me he did say yes to me, before he even saw me. Crazy if you ask me lol

"yashmaki" wrote:

without hijab? I've heard that but i dont think the majority of scholars agree with that. Coz how many men are you gona reveal yourself to without hijab, say 5 or 10 before you like one of them? and in the mean time all those other men would have got a full viewing of you without hijab? Would you feel comfy with that? I sure wouldn't

To be honest if a man asked me to remove the hijab i'd show him the door, and my mother would show him her sandal. I'd never remove it.

I'm sure our prophet instructed men who wanted to marry a woman to see her first. This meant seeing her face, and judging her character etc. I doubt these women removed their hijabs for the men.

That Hadith I used was in regards to takin off the niqab not hijab but i have heard that some do say it is fine to remove the hijab and i agree with you how many rishta will come, how many guys are u gona be viewed by without hijab. That IMO defeats the purpose of hijab and i wouldnt remove it for a guy either.

"yashmaki" wrote:

To be honest if a man asked me to remove the hijab i'd show him the door

No way, unless you're that ugly. Some Latin lover tells you how beautiful your eyes are and begs to see your face, and you're gonna show him the door? lol

"100man" wrote:

"yashmaki" wrote:

To be honest if a man asked me to remove the hijab i'd show him the door

No way, unless you're that ugly. Some Latin lover tells you how beautiful your eyes are and begs to see your face, and you're gonna show him the door? lol

she sed the 'hijab' i.e. headscarf. and u shud read the whole post b4 commenting 100!

oo 100man cheer up lol.Yeah i'm so ugly the human race is lucky i wear a face veil lol Yeah he could see my face he's got a right to see that. I wouldn't marry a man without seeing his face, so it's only fair and right.

Yuit out of nosiness i mean interest you got a niqabi proposal? :?:

"yuit" wrote:

I agree with the two comment above, but how important do you think lifestyle is in marriage, so basically how two seperate people live

what do u mean by lifetsyle?

do u mean that they should work together or do their own thing?

"yashmaki" wrote:

Yuit out of nosiness i mean interest you got a niqabi proposal? :?:

Nah, i just found it funny, because if you find a niqabi u want to marry, it normally because of deen, so I was just thinking it maybe abit shallow asking to see her face. I know most bloke would find it arkward.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"yuit" wrote:

I agree with the two comment above, but how important do you think lifestyle is in marriage, so basically how two seperate people live

what do u mean by lifetsyle?

do u mean that they should work together or do their own thing?

What i meant was upbringing, within the paki culture, you find there many subsection as well. Not everyone is brought up the same and it can be sometime hard to gel the two together in marriage.

"yuit" wrote:

What i meant was upbringing, within the paki culture, you find there many subsection as well. Not everyone is brought up the same and it can be sometime hard to gel the two together in marriage.

everyone has diff upbringings-

as long as the husband and wife share common ground it shouldnt be an issue

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"yuit" wrote:

What i meant was upbringing, within the paki culture, you find there many subsection as well. Not everyone is brought up the same and it can be sometime hard to gel the two together in marriage.

everyone has diff upbringings-

as long as the husband and wife share common ground it shouldnt be an issue

Guess you right, but it would be hard because upbringing play a really important part in who we are and how we see things and is something that no one can really change, so it can be hard having to adapt for someone and their situation, in reality islam should eradicate these problem, but under cultural strains it harder to do.

"yuit" wrote:

in reality islam should eradicate these problem, but under cultural strains it harder to do.

that all depends if a person is more Islamic or cultural

if they are influnced more by cultural stuff and their partner is more influnced my Islamic thinking then obvioulsy problems will arise

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"yuit" wrote:

in reality islam should eradicate these problem, but under cultural strains it harder to do.

that all depends if a person is more Islamic or cultural

if they are influnced more by cultural stuff and their partner is more influnced my Islamic thinking then obvioulsy problems will arise

Yes, but you going to be amoung both, our upbringing has probably more cultural apsect then islamic one even though you may be incline for too islamic ideas, u still have to operate in both areas even though both partners are more islamic.

Salam

Guys here are simply not being honest.

No matter how many qualities she has, would they really marry a woman whom they find ugly ?

Why can't people just be honest.

Omrow

only when one is beautiful from within, does the exterior also become beautiful

and beauty is skin deep

im not saying looks arent important, but you have to put things in perspective

No one will marry someone who they consider "ugly".

However, "ugly" and "beautiful" is relative.

anyone can make themselves look "pretty"

they just need to tart themselves up

there's a whole market dedicated to this

its amazing what a good haircut and flattering clothes can do for someone

but too bad not everyone get a good perosnality that easily

very true

majority of 'glamour girls' especially those showin it off around uni...its amazin how much make up n stuff they use :shock:

vain or what

lol not every girl can glamour herself up to look pretty - some girls just are to begin with, while others are not.

Can't really say either is more important...

"Don Karnage" wrote:

lol not every girl can glamour herself up to look pretty - some girls just are to begin with, while others are not.

Can't really say either is more important...

Lol-Dave you really need to watch some makeover programmes.

Sometimes the transformation is unbelievable.

It really is amazing what a good hair cut/colour and clothes can do for an individual.

And weight loss if needed helps a LOT too.