Good question, I think Aphrodite would have been able to give a really good answer too this. Maybe Angel should PM her.

That all i got to say on the subject at the mo. :oops:

I think this is a difficult question.

You can't say that single parenting is a problem because that's just like saying people who are single parents are in the wrong. Which is obviously baseless.

In the overwhelming majority of cases people don't choose to be single parents. It's just how things sometimes turn out.

The 'idea'l is obviously two parents, but what if one of the parents is abusive or negligent. In this case is it not better that there was only one parent?

But I can't say, I've not had experience of this issue.

i'm with you Enver on this one

but single parents themselves say that it is very hard for them. especially with the government continually forcing them back to work with sweetners like help with childcare etc

most of the women who came to the office were at their wits end in 10 years of working there i only came across 2 male single parents requesting benefits - perhaps single parent men have better paid jobs so they dont need to use the benefits service

they said their children especially boys were unruly without a stable father figure (most had casual on and off relationships with various men but nothing long term)

they said their children had to take care of themselves from an early age -if the mother worked and they missed out on mothering them

they were too tired to play with them when they got back from work.

drugs etc all involved

but i have to go now more later

but i'm thinking these things also happen in 2 parent households

But looking at the Prophet marriages, quite a few of them were widows or divorcee. So it may be deem, that though people were in a abusive relationship, the importance of a steady family environment is really important, infact wasn't it the reason for the prophet marriage to Sawda bint Zam'a (ra), so there was a motherly figure for the prophet daugthers. But then again i remember one guest saying once that, she didn't want to marry again as the for the sake of her children and due to the insecurity that they will feel and the upheaval. Which is a fair point really, especially in today society, where there single parent family are not as unusual as they once were.

i dont think its necessarily a problem as some single parents do a splendid job in bringing up children however in sociology single parents are normally sterotyped as belonging to the underclass, low income families which live in poor conditions....sociologists also feel that these familes are subjected to a viscous circle also known as 'the cycle of deprivation'

if single parent families are on low income and from less educated backgrounds then the home and social conditions may act as a barrier to childrens education...who then may not go on to further education, may not get good jobs and therefore may stay in poverty....

thats just one perspective, not mine, as long as the parent does a good job in bringing up the child then its not a problem...howver from persnal xperiences it is very hard!

two parents share the duties of bringing up children, one may be the earner, the other may play the role of a feind, one may listen to childrens problems the other may find solutions, one may drop the kids off to school...the other will pick them up...etc etc

whereas single parent families its different....the parents has to play the role of the breadwinner, mother, father, older sibling, best freind, enemy, teacher etc etc....it can be hard for the parent and the child

i dont know if thats the kinda thing u were looking for angel

hello angel i'm continuing

yes as flower said financial problems were a high priority the highest on the material scale

they suffered with long term depression not all of them but actually most of them and their children also

education was severely disturbed and schools kept complaining about neglect mothers were up to their necks with this and often gave their kids schooling a very low priority

even though the stigma of single mums is almost gone kids still got bullied for this in school especially as most of these fine ladies had a succession of boyfreinds so you can imagine the names they were called

more later got to go - give some attention to the little one now

Whats the subject its for (i.e. what sort of slant should we focus on?) Are you allowed to use the Ahadith and Al Quran for referneces in yous literary piece?

If we know who the audience is, we can better equip with the correct tools to sucseed insha Allah T'ala.

anyways

(amendment: bouts of depression common in majority not as i said long term depression for majority only for some)

other health problems due to bad diet

discipline problems, insecurity, lack of respect from children, feeling of being isolated, feeling unconnected to their children

children ignoring their authority as parent

lonely noone at end of hard day to discuss and make future plans for children etc,

living from day to day

they pinned their lack of general instability on shortage of money and time and not on being single ie without a man

most said they never wanted to live with a man long term it was too hard not just for the children but for them

most blamed men and hated them

none felt shame at their situation which is correct but then they also knew that a lot of older generation still viewed them in a bad light and so they kept up a bravado infront of them even though deep down they felt all of the above

seemed to be aware that single parents are becoming the norm rather then the exception so even though felt alone still felt as part of a club and felt justified in being a single parent

however benefits people are still old fashioned and did not think very highly of single parents at all - I was always fighting with them on this one

we were there to help not make judgements and in all walks of life this should be the case.

you see hundreds of people in any one week these problems were with many of the people but more so in single parents or was it single parents were just more vocal and glad of a sympathetic ear

Thanks Dave for creatin the thread and thanks to those who replied....

Duwud I am suposed to organise an experiment to basically show why single parenting is a problem. The main focus is going to be on young single parents and will link into young teenage pregnancies and how one parent isn't willing to look after the child etc hence the child having only one parent.

Its a group thing, majority vote was single parenting.

Salam

Con. What is the difference between option two and four ?

Omrow

cant be easy, working, looking after the house, AND bringing up kids at the same time

sumin is bound to suffer-in many cases its the kids

its a tough life being a single parent

Its tough being a single parent.

You must become everything for the kids.

Their mother, father, provider, teacher & mentor.

They must be your world, you would have twice the reponsibility.

Inbetween you must also keep a steady job and balance finances.

God never gives you more than you can handle. And if the work is twice as hard than the reward shall also be twice as great.

You can either choose to bring up the kids with good decent values and a will to better the world, or you can choose to let the TV bring them up and i do not recommend the later.

"Omrow" wrote:

Salam

Con. What is the difference between option two and four ?

Omrow

As it stands: 9%

"Angel" wrote:

The main focus is going to be on young single parents and will link into young teenage pregnancies and how one parent isn't willing to look after the child etc hence the child having only one parent.

When one plus one
does become two
be prepared
for troubles aknew,

For surely as is natures way
two can become three we pray.

but when doting parents are in lack
one should prepare for a broken back

And worry to to cover the world twice over
no let up from misery, anxiety and pain
Child, surely does mercy and happines bring
but ones who sees not the sun only feel rain.

two parents all children do desire
yet desire itself can be as a fire
raging untamed can destroy
who to tame then this wee viceroy.

Bare ever in mind the truth of this odious verse
a father, mother is not- from conception to hearse-
and so too, a soft woman, no father can be
two parents, aye! that is the key!

So as ever we all must part
our songs sung with wit and tack
with these lessons I leave you friends...
Remember, say no to Crack!

(anyone actually on crack, my prayers are with you, also apparantly it only gets worst affter the first time, also whilst this may not help it may not, not, help. Further more, if we do part it shouldn't be for too long, although I am now on the Minhaj forums......)