"yuit" wrote:

If my kid was getting bully, first thing i would do is take him out of the situation and [b]then train him not to get into that situation [/b]again, you don't fight back you fight clever. Because there only a certain amount of fight you can win and [b]everytime you sort one fight out you find you created a couple more in the process[/b].

How would u train him not to get into that situation? These things just happen yuit, could be a popular person one mintue and then the mob turn in one week and u become the outsider. So kindly explain how u wud stop em getting into that situation.

And I dont thnk its true that every time u sort one fight out u creat a couple more. i took rubbish from one rat at school for years, not cos I was scared but cos he was so pathetic that I couldnt be bothered with him. Then one day I just flipped and told the rat that next time I see u outside school u just watch. Problem sorted, the rat would walk humbly past me and not even look at me, forget outside not even within the safety of school.

Well we all have different experience but they don't all work out as nicely as you one did. I personally believe if a person know you capable of fighting they will not fight you, why risk it. It all about the confidence that you have, people can sense it and normally back off. You always allow the person who u have a problem with a exit route, it work out best for everyone. Putting fear in someone is a dangerous ploy and you will never know how they will react, why take the risk.

"yuit" wrote:

Putting fear in someone is a dangerous ploy and you will never know how they will react, why take the risk.

yeh it is risky, but whats life without risk bruv?

lol.

nah, the rat knew I cud batter him, but cos we went to a posh grammar school where fighting was not the norm he didnt think i wud bring my ghetto behaviour into that environment, he was rong.

even at uni, i aint gonna take rubbish of any1. One gora was disrespecting me so I shamed him in front of a group of ppl. Was it rong? no cos now the rest of em treat me right and the other one ihas been subdued.

Im normally a very nice and calm person but recently Im getting that being NICE ALL the time doesnt do anything except getting yourself walked over.

My problem is not with defending yourself, but it actually need to do just that, if in the process you create more problem, I think it not worthwhile. Anyway I done with this thread, any thing esle i say i will just be repeating myself.

"Admin" wrote:

Being bullied is all about attitude.

You allow yourself to be bullied, or you do not. You may get battered a few times, but that would happen either way...

Deja vu...some ppl are weak and bullies are sick ppl who take advantage, it aint sum1's fault that they cant defend themselves out of fear!

"angel" wrote:

"Admin" wrote:

Being bullied is all about attitude.

You allow yourself to be bullied, or you do not. You may get battered a few times, but that would happen either way...

Deja vu...some ppl are weak and bullies are sick ppl who take advantage, it aint sum1's fault that they cant defend themselves out of fear!

Then they must learn to confront their fears.

"Seraph" wrote:

"angel" wrote:

"Admin" wrote:

Being bullied is all about attitude.

You allow yourself to be bullied, or you do not. You may get battered a few times, but that would happen either way...

Deja vu...some ppl are weak and bullies are sick ppl who take advantage, it aint sum1's fault that they cant defend themselves out of fear!

Then they must learn to confront their fears.

Admin said a person "allows" themselves to be bullied, thats silly. Not everyone can confront their fears, it may sound easy but it aint.

"angel" wrote:

"Seraph" wrote:

"angel" wrote:

"Admin" wrote:

Being bullied is all about attitude.

You allow yourself to be bullied, or you do not. You may get battered a few times, but that would happen either way...

Deja vu...some ppl are weak and bullies are sick ppl who take advantage, it aint sum1's fault that they cant defend themselves out of fear!

Then they must learn to confront their fears.

Admin said a person "allows" themselves to be bullied, thats silly. Not everyone can confront their fears, it may sound easy but it aint.

If it was easy it wouldnt be much of a fear, would it?

Ofcourse its not gonna be easy. They must have courage... which in simplicity is NOT lack of fear but the resistance of fear and to conquet fear is the beginning of wisedom.

In beating a bully my advice: You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

"Admin" wrote:

It is easy.

Is not! :evil:

It is the majority of black people in that area that have an attitude, that attitude comes from this idea that people are scared of them, exactly yuits point on bullying give a bully the idea you are scared and they will keep on bullying you.

Show from the beginning that you are willing and strong enough to fight and the bully at very least will think twice. Thats what you are saying too yuit, that has only just happened in lozells / handsworth and it really needed to.

"DTC" wrote:

It is the majority of black people in that area that have an attitude, that attitude comes from this idea that people are scared of them, exactly yuits point on bullying give a bully the idea you are scared and they will keep on bullying you.

[b]Show from the beginning that you are willing and strong enough to fight [/b]and the bully at very least will think twice. Thats what you are saying too yuit, that has only just happened in lozells / handsworth and it really needed to.

That is very good point brother. Particularly the bit in bold.

But I think it can be extended. Down my end of bham we dont have many blacks; it's a white area which is getting more and more pakifyed by the month cos we just down the road from alumrock so all my rocky sakkay are coming here!

Alhamdulillah i wear sunnah libaas. Before when I was younger I used to kinda mind my own business, walk with head down, avoiding eye contact etc cos whites were also quite racist and used to give two four words. Then as I got older and my beard appeared I made a realisation they are scared when I look up and striaght at them. Now alhamdulillah I walk straight, with head straight, not wiv my nose stuck in the air lol, but in a normal confident manner. I look around, make eye contact, watch groups of whites when they walk past to see if they got any funny comments to make and subhanALLAH nothing. Aint had any abuse, or even a dirty look for ages.

Its all about the way you behave, I dont act aggressive, barging ppl, or bumping into em and making funny noises to show Im annoyed, I just behave confident like Im at ease even if Im the only paki present in like a white shopping area, I act confident, smile a bit, give thank you to people and thats all it takes really.

Lol, b4 those black girls used to scare me a bit when I was younger. Now even with a group of em, they dont mess. This bits a bit bad, but I noticed that with blacks even now if u act confident and theirs a group of em they might try it on, like try barging past or sound irritated when they bump into u etc. So I learnt that if u let it pass, they laugh and then shout abuse, so best thing is to stand ur ground, when they barge u u make an annoyed sound, stop walking, turn around scowling at em, and staring at em they get the message and walk meekly off. lol

years of distrust of crossing streets to avoid them of fearing them of calling them names of avoiding them totally has created this image of black people

we think they are bullies? how stupid are we for they are only fulfilling our prophesies

Seema,

"...they are only fulfilling OUR prophecies. (??). Why have people crossed the road to avoid them? Why have people feared them? It didn't just happen. A few years ago some Sikh lads got together in Handsworth to patrol the streets because black people were just walking up to women and ripping gold chains off their necks in broad day light like they were out shopping.

I think that that is the problem, too many excuses from people like you. There is no smoke without fire. Not one person in my family my neighbours families or a lot of my friends has NOT had problems with black people and their attitude.

They are loud and aggressive and full of contempt and hatred.

And I never said all, I said the majority.

[size=18]Wake up![/size] :shock:

See people for what they are and not what they tell you that you should see them for.

:roll:

"DTC" wrote:

Not one person in my family my neighbours families or a lot of my friends has NOT had problems with black people and their attitude.

They are loud and aggressive and full of contempt and hatred.

And I never said all, I said the majority.

[size=18]Wake up![/size] :shock:

See people for what they are and not what they tell you that you should see them for.

:roll:

Yeah! They should go back where they came from.

DTC i'm very sorry to hear of your negative experiences i dont aim to belittle these experiences

but what we do know is that hundreds of years of abuse (that is abusing them) has lead to the condition of the black people.

even if we do not know of black history then we must use our commonsense

can you think of any one race of people that have been dumped on by the world for such a long time? and i'm talking centuries of abuse here

"seema*" wrote:

can you think of any one race of people that have been dumped on by the world for such a long time? and i'm talking centuries of abuse here

VERY good point

they've suffered the worst

slave labour and all that

and what SOME of them may do now is NOTHING compared to the sufferings they underwent

Islam does not believe in any concept of original sin, or that the sins of the father pass to the son. What happened to a people before and how they behave now are two seperate entities.

My behaviour today cannot be justified by the way my great grandfather 150 yrs back was treated. This is illogical and defies any type of reasoning and intelligence.

"Med" wrote:

My behaviour today cannot be justified by the way my great grandfather 150 yrs back was treated. This is illogical and defies any type of reasoning and intelligence.

But the actions of your great grandfather 150 years back can have an effect on your social, economic and psychological situation today.

The two are not completely unconnected.

Yes thats true. But having said that we cant blame all whats going on down to the way they may have been treated years ago.

I dont see it as being that important.

The blame is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the people promoting or causing needless disturbance feel justified continuing in that vein. They must not.

Seema,

Actually yes there are many nations that have been made slaves .

If we all had that attitude that your country did this to my country so you should understand that I have this attitude, hardly anyone would ever speak to anyone else. I'm British, so using your reasoning i have to display contempt for and arrogance towards the French the Germans the Spanish the Italians (Romans) most if not all scandinavian countries the Portugese and basically anyone else that has had a hand in invading Britain over the last thousand years. All of these countries "exported" into slavery many many thousands of "British" people. And look what the English did to the Irish!!

The politicians and businessmen were the only people that benefitted from the slave trade and that wasn't only Africans that were taken either. A lot of those people that ended up as slaves were sold by African chiefs. So why be contemptuous of all White people and hate the system we are all as much slaves to this system as anyone. The only difference as far as I see it is slaves were exported "from" Britain in the guise of soldiers taking "civilisation" to the world, they were imperial puppets. And before you say but they didn't have to go...... yes they did!

irfghan,

If you are implying that there are Racist undertones to my posts you are one of those very deluded people that is scared to tell the truth.

MuslimSisLilSis,

No one in this country has suffered more than the "ordinary" people at the hands of those in a position to exploit. CHILDREN of 3,4,5,6,7 shoved up chimneys and under machines, people working until they died at their machines or in the mines history is no excuse for intimidation.

If it is a question of retaliation for historical reasons why are Asian people being victimised on a daily basis?

"DTC" wrote:

irfghan,

If you are implying that there are Racist undertones to my posts you are one of those very deluded people that is scared to tell the truth.

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that there are racist undertones in your posts.

Your posts [i]are[/i] racist!

Quote:

See people for what they are and not what they tell you that you should see them for.

See them for what they are???

You're talking as if black people have some sort of biological disorder that makes them do bad things to you and your family.

Quote:

I think that that is the problem, too many excuses from people like you. There is no smoke without fire. Not one person in my family my neighbours families or a lot of my friends has NOT had problems with black people and their attitude.

They are loud and aggressive and full of contempt and hatred.

And I never said all, I said the majority.

Wake up!

See people for what they are and not what they tell you that you should see them for.

This kind of vitriol wouldn't be out of place on a racist forum.

And the very same thing would be being said about Muslims.

You need to get some persective.

"irfghan" wrote:

You're talking as if black people have some sort of biological disorder that makes them do bad things to you and your family.

You mean like anti-semitism?

Like anti-Semitism and every other form of racism.

I meant in terms of it being a biological disorder.

IMO racists either see themselves as biologically, mentally, etc superior to others or see others as biologically, mentally, etc inferior to themselves.

This is a case of seeing others as inferior.

I don't think you're quite getting the point.

Anyway it was a joke.